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Date Posted: 19:03:59 03/05/01 Mon
Author: Kelley
Subject: Crossroads--Chapter 31

Another day another chapter :) I'm going to wait for a wee bit to post chapter 32 only because I need to get ahead a
little in writing. I hate not having several chapters written before posting them so this will be a bit of a reprieve.
Hopefully not long :)
Thank you for tuning back into my story once again. I most certainly appreciate it!

Love,
Kel

Crossroads--Chapter 31

She was standing up on the hill once again. Admiring the landscape, she felt a vaguely familiar presence. She
had been here before. Looking out at the meadows surrounding her, Carrie knew she had been here before.
The fog was heavy as the grayish clouds in the sky loomed overhead.

What am I doing here?

She turned around, looking behind her for any sign of where to go or what to do but found nothing.
“Now you must take the next step.” She jerked her head around but saw no one.

I’m losing my mind.

“What are you talking about?? “ she asked quietly.

“You know. It’s in your heart, you just have to listen to what it tells you and follow it wherever it leads you.”

“No.. I can’t.. I can’t let myself do that and I can’t talk about this anymore. I have to go.”
She turned and quickly started walking off, eventually breaking into a run.

Suddenly the voice was much louder.

Breathlessly, she could no longer continue. She stopped in her tracks as it overwhelmed her.

“You can’t run from it forever Carrie. It’s what’s meant to be. You know that, but you have to be willing to
embrace it.” Growing frustrated she felt the anger rising inside of her.

“You don’t understand!! It’s too complicated for even me to understand and I don’t want to discuss this any
longer. I don’t know who you are but you know nothing about me and nothing about what I’m dealing with so
don’t even try to explain my life to me.”

“It’s very simple because the heart never lies. You love him.”

Hearing the words aloud made her heart ache even more. She heard it, felt it and longed for it, but she
couldn’t say it.

“I don’t want to be hurt again. I can’t allow myself to make that kind of a risk.”
“But you know within your heart that you will never love this way again Carrie. He’s the one.” Tears flowed
freely as she let herself feel all the emotions she had tried to sort out but couldn’t.

I love him. It’s true. I just don’t want to hurt the way I did before..Iit frightens me. The way I feel for him is
overpowering and so forceful.. But I know I can’t imagine him not being in my life, being there for me, having
fun with him, and not loving him. It’s all so complicated,, yet you make it seem so simple.

“Don’t question it any further. Just listen to what your heart tells you Carrie.”

"You make it sound so easy but it’s much more difficult than that!"

“Only you make it difficult Carrie. Your happines is staring right at you, but you’re afraid to latch onto it. All
you have to do is take it, nurture it and it will all be returned.”

She knew the voice was right. If only she knew how. Through all the turmoil of the last year, she’d learned to
build herself a future, learned slowly not to compromise herself.

How can I love him without losing myself like I did before? How?? How do people do that?

Carrie looked down upon the wandering earth beneath the hill. The sky, the grass, the way the breeze danced
across her skin. Finally after awhile, with no hesitation she allowed herself to admit what she finally was able
to feel inside her soul. She said it out loud as if to confirm to herself and the world around her what she felt…

“I’m in love with him.”

She jerked awake immediately, clutching her chest.. Oh my.. Oh my go….. I’m in love with him!

Her heart raced trying to comprehend the statement, allowing it to sink in. I’m in love with Mike! What am I
supposed to do now?? Do I tell him?? What am I supposed to say, “hi Mike.. I’m in love with you? ??? How
in the hell are you supposed to admit to your best friend you are in love with them??

She rubbed her eyes in frustration. After contemplating it, she decided she needed to play things by ear and see where
things led. The only thing she knew for certain was that she didn’t want to rush into anything as she did with Austin but
wanted to take it slow. Besides, she wasn’t even certain Mike felt the same way,. After tossing and turning for a
couple of hours she fell back into a deep sleep.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Carrie awoke the next morning before the alarm went off. Opening her eyes groggily, she glanced at the clock: 6am.
She rolled over and did not want to get out of bed. The sun slowly crept over the horizon and began to stream
through the windows. She sat up and threw her feet over the side of the bed as she rubbed her eyes attempting to gain
coherent thoughts of what she had to do that day. Loads of work for one.

After her shower she headed to the kitchen to fix some coffee. Standing at the sink she gazed out the window at the
park below sipping on her hot chocolate. Down in the park below her apartment window sat two people who were in
serious conversation. She smiled and remembered when the game she, Hope and Jennifer would play as kids. Every
time they saw two people they had to make up a story about them. Most of the stories were of couples very happily
in love or who were having some overly dramatized angst ridden love affair. If only I didn’t have to be an adult
sometimes. The world was such a happier place when I was 12. Life was so difficult growing up when she was
young.

Carrie went into the bedroom to finish getting dressed and was lost in thought. She quickly remembered how simple
things were then and how much more difficult things were now. Her mind fancied a variety of memories but recently,
life was just starting to make a little more sense to her. It wasn’t quite so hard when you had a good friend helping to
make new memories.

She glanced at the clock. “Oh my god I’m going to be late! She snatched up her purse, and was looking all over in a
mad frenzy for her keys. She heard someone knock and looked up briefly while still looking in every possible place
she could think of. She ran towards the door to open it. There, holding her keys dangling in the air.. was Mike.

“Mike!!! My keys!!! Where did you find them???” She snached them out of his hands and went back inside to grab
her purse and her briefcase.

“Gee Carrie.. getting quite assertive are we? No Hi Mike, no good morning Mike no how are you Mike?” He grinned
with a sly smile.

“Actually they were still stuck in the door, guess you left them there last night when you came in.”

“Oh well in that case. Thank you Mike for finding my keys.”

Without thinking she reached up to kiss him on the cheek and noticed what she had done mid kiss. She backed away
slowly, his after-shave having quite an effect on her senses. She looked down awkwardly and smiled shyly.

“Oh.. Mike.. I’m.. I um.. I’m sorry. I didn’t..”

“Don’t think another thing about it Carrie. Besides.. it’s not every day I get kissed by a beautiful woman. I think I
heard my knees shaking” She jabbed him in the ribs playfully and took hold of his hands.

“Come on Dr. Horton we’re going to be late for work.” She dragged him along after her, knowing this was going to
be a very long, exhausting grueling day, keeping her thoughts off kissing Mike and concentrating on work.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Carrie sat at the stoplight looking at al the people in rush hour traffic around her, thinking that like her all of them had
jobs, earning money, raising families, living the proverbial perfect life that she could only dream of. She sighed as she
heard the horn behind her honk. She looked in her rear view mirror.

Where did he go? I thought he was following me. Maybe I’ll see him later. She looked to both sides of her,
attempting to spot a Ford Explorer. She continued the way to work until she arrived and parked into an empty spot
on the ground floor of the parking garage at the hospital.

Walking into work she spotted Mike talking to the head nurse about his rounds for the day. He finished his
conversation as she walked up.

“I beatcha” he smiled playfully.

“I was wondering where you had gone to. I thought you were following me.” She asked.

“I was but I got a little ahead of you and decided to take a shortcut. I remembered I needed to take care of a few
things before I started rounds. But listen I wanted to go over the details with you about the fundraiser you want to put
on for the hospital. What about we have lunch at the new little place on the corner that just opened?”

“Sounds great. Lois told me they had great Italian food. Find me later okay? I have to get up to the office to work on
the details so I have something solid to go on before I tell you. I have been working on it for weeks and I can’t wait to
see what you think.”

Mike noticed her confidence radiating from her. It made her the most beautiful, elegant in a very simplistic way. She
has to be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life. If only I could.. if only she would.. Mike pulled himself
away from the possibilities he hoped for and decided he had to get out of there and fast. He started walking
backwards toward the elevator.

“Okay see you in a few hours. Good luck with your idea!” He smiled at her and waved as she did the same.

Sighing she turned to go to her office. She opened the door and was surprised at what awaited her.

There on her desk were a dozen roses. She took the card and read it but sank in her chair when she read who it was
from.

Carrie,
I want to say I’m sorry for the pain I caused you. I hope you will accept these flowers as an apology and have
lunch with me soon.

I love you
Austin

Great. Flowers from the man that made her blood boil. I don’t believe it. After all this time he apologizes for what
he did. She would not allow Austin to control her emotions ever again. She threw the card and flowers in the trash
and started in on the work that lay ahead.

“Thank you so much Miss Grant for the help you’ve offered. I will get back with you for the final details after I speak
with my supervisor this afternoon. I look forward to the benefit. Goodbye.”

She hung up the phone, elated that what she had planned was actually starting to come together. She signed and put
down her pen, feeling much more confident than she had in a long time. A major undertaking in the works, she didn’t
think she would ever be able to take on such a challenge that this job required but today she had proved to herself she
could do anything. Now she had to run the idea by Mike to see if he approved the budget for it and if so, she would
be taking on the first fundraiser of her new job.

She just had one more phone call to make before trying to find Mike for lunch.

The phone call took much longer than she had anticipated and when there was a knock on the door she put the
person on hold.

“Come in!!” she looked up to see Mike standing there.

“Oh my god.. LUNCH!! Mike I’m sooo sorry I completely forgot about lunch. I got in the middle of a phone call,
who’s still on the phone and it totally..

“Don’t worry about that, how about dinner at the same place, say around 6?” He asked quickly.

“Sure I definitely be there.”

“Okay, see you then.” she blushed, realizing he wasn’t moving.

He turned around to open the door and walked out, letting out the breath he held. The things she made him feel were
almost overpowering at times. But he had to get control and just remember she needs her own time. It wasn’t the time
to be selfish. He went back to work until it was time to leave but first, he had a phone call to make to the restaurant
before dinner. A little suprise for Carrie couldn’t hurt after all the hard work she’s been putting towards her new job,
could it? He smiled slyly, ready to put his plan in motion.

TBC

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