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Date Posted: 18:33:24 03/05/01 Mon
Author: LaTwigg
Subject: Adieu, Adios, Au Revoir Ch 16-20

Ch 16

While everyone else focused their attention on Mike Austin was on another floor of the hospital, visiting Alyssia who
was now in the ordinary nursery. She was still small and frail in appearance but it was becoming more evident every
day that this little angel was a fighter. He hadn't seen much of her since Mike's return and probably wouldn't see much
in the future. He may have brought her real father back to town but that didn't change the love he'd already begun to
feel for her. In some ways she would always be like a daughter to him. He knew too well that that was a bond that
cannot be easily broken. But she was Mike's daughter and his heart broke knowing that that's who she would call
Daddy. This seemed to be the story of his life, he only got to be a temporary father until the real one came along. It
was a crummy job and he resented Mike for taking his daughter from him. He resented that even more than he
resented the affair which had conceived her.

Austin had no idea that the little girl's father was dying just a few floors below. had he known that he probably would
have felt guilty for feeling the way he did. Did he want Mike to die? Certainly not because dead or alive he would
always be Alyssia's father and he would rather she have him for a father than grow up without one.

Her face reminded him of an angel's, with blond wisps kissing her forehead ever so gently. Even in sleep she seemed
to be smiling. She had yet to learn of the chaos that often complicated the lives of those who loved her most. He
hoped her future would hold more happiness than his own. He prayed that she would never know what it was like to
lose at love or to be alone. He asked God that she may never know grief or fear. He did not know that already the
hope of that was fading as quickly as the sound of the heart monitor attached to her father's chest.

"We're losing him!" Craig shouted to his colleagues. "Come on Horton, I know you're better than this. If you can fight
for other people than you sure as he** can fight for yourself. The world needs more people like you and besides,
Carrie will kill me if you don't make it." With those words he charged up the paddles to give Mike one last shot.

"I am so so sorry Mike. I swear, I will never hurt you again. Please Mike, I didn't mean what I said, not a word of it. I
love you. I love you so much my heart is crying. You can't leave me. You said you'd never leave me again. I need
you. I can't go on without you."

She whispered the words softly but even so, Laura and Marlena, who were standing close by, heard her. If they had
doubted her love for him before they belived it now. Carrie's heart truly did belong to Micheal and both women
silently feared that if he died, she would not survive. But all they could do was wait and hope that Mike would see
what he was leaving behind.

Ch 17
She sat holding his hand and praying, not just for his recovery but also for her own strength. She would need it if they
were going t get throught this. Even if he lived, the dilemma's that had faced her before wouldn't have disappeared.
But she knew now, with painful certainty that she could not live without him and didn't even want to try.

It wasn't at all what he'd pictured death to be like. There was no bright light or pearly gates. In fact, He didn't see
much of anything. He seemed to be floating in a muddle of confusion, much like his life had been. He was
contemplating his location when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around to see his grandfather
standing there. It threw him to be face to face with Tom again after all this time and he didn't know what to say or
even how to feel.

"Hello Micheal. It's been a long time. Too long."

"Grampa? Is that you? Is that really you?"

"Of course it is; who else would it be? I've been selected to guide you though on this journey."

"What journey?"

"Well, the journey of your past, your present and your future, provided you want one. Everyone must go on this
journey before they may enter heaven. They must determine if they are ready to leave their lives behind."

"But I know I'm ready. That's why I didn't fight."

"That's what you think you want but you must be absolutely sure. It doesn't get more permanent than this."

"I am, I was a doctor, you think I don't know this?"

"Enough Micheal, you always did ask too many questions. It's time to begin your journey."

He was back in the house his mother had shared with Mickey, when the three of them were still a family. At the
moment he was playing in his roofless treehouse. Carrie was still a little girl, watching him fom her own yard and
laughing as his house slowly fell apart. It really hadn't been that bad for a first building attempt. Really? Carrie had
been cute even then. Her hair was darker and curlier but her eyes were the same beautiful eyes. The ones that had
succeeded in capturing his attention on so many occasions. He found himself stealing glances at her, thinking that she
was going to be beautiful when she got older and would have strings of guys who wanted her. He almost resented
those future beaux at the time although he hadn't understood it.

The scene faded and changed to one from a few years later.

He was a senior in high school, in the first serious relationship of his life. It was the Brady-Horton BBQ and he'd
made the monumental decision to bring his girlfiend. It was a huge step as she would not only meet his family but also
his very wide circle of close family friends and it was bound to be awkward. And boy was it ever. The whole evening
was spent answering the usual list of questions at least a dozen times. But the worst part was the look on Carrie's
face. The one he had pretended not to notice but which was now very clear in retrospect. The whole time she kept
glancing at him with these sad eyes that made him feel like a monster. He hadn't known at the time but it was the first
occasion of many that he had broken the heart of his best friend. Evidently what goes around, comes around.

Next he finds himself at his own wedding. The happy day was turned bittersweet with the knowledge of how his
marriage to Margot would end: with her dying and him deeply in debt. Once again he saw Carrie sitting in the a pew,
her face constricted with pain. She must of felt the same as he had on the day she'd nmarried Austin. There was
nothing worse than watching the one you love marry someone else.

They'd always been close. In the next scene they're at the old coffee shop, catching up on eachother's news. He'd
returned from med school for winter break and was telling Carrie about the friend of his who could act like a big jerk
when it came to competing for girls and the best marks. She was a senior in high school and stressing about SAT's
and getting accepted to a good school. He assured her that if she could do it anyone could. She was upset because
she'd just broken up with her boyfriend of 6 months and didn't think she'd ever find love again. They meandered
down to a local beach where he built her a sandcastle and told her the Princess Carrie story for the hundredth time.
She smiled at him and he'd smiled back. Noticing for the first time that she had grown up since he'd been at college.
She was no longer the little girl next door but a woman who would never want for admirers.

He's back with his grandfather, reflecting on what he's seen so far.

"Well, how do you feel?"

"I never really realize how prominently Carrie figured in my life even when we were young. She was always there.
She's always been there. All the more reason why I don't think I can go on."


Ch 18

"This is the last place you should of brought me if you wanted to convince me to live. I never wanted to revisit this
time in my life."

"Well I'm not trying to convince you of anything actually. It is my duty to show you your life so you can make the right
decision. This is part of your past; you can't erase it."

He was back in Isreal, with Robin and Jeremy. He and Robin were fighting over Jeremy's religion, the same old thing.
Mike wanted to bring his son back to Salem for a visit but Robin wouldn't hear of it, she said Salem and Mike's family
would be a poor influence on their son. Mike shot back that it would be a lot safer than living in a war zone. The
conversation ended with Mike storming out of the house, for the what turned out to be the last time.

He never went back to her after that. For weeks he'd wandered aimlessly around the village, wondering what the hell
he could do with his life. His only reason for being in Isreal was Robin and his son. Robin was trying to shut Jeremy
out of his life and there was really nothing for him there any more. But the thought of going back to Salem quite
frankly, terrified him. There were alot of things about his family he didn't understand and there were alot more things
about him that they didn't understand. If he went back he'd have to confront it all. But where else could he go? He
couldn't stay and he couldn't keep running away from home like a teenager.

He'd seen her almost as soon as he'd gotten back in town. It was only from a distance, he'd noticed her eating a
burger at the back of the Brady Pub. He'd been in a hurry to see his grandparents and hadn't really known what to
say to her. It was undeniable that before Robin and everyone else there had been some strong chemistry between
them. Perhaps if there hadn't been what at the time had seemed like a huge age gap, they might have hooked up. He'd
kissed her once, just once, after a snowball fight. After that he hadn't known what to say. She was young, still in
college and he, well he had a son. So he'd left town withoutr so much as a goodbye. And now he'd have to talk to
her, tell her he'd thought about her while he was gone, that he'd missed her.

Before he had the chance some guy walked up and kissed her, he turned out to be Austin Reed, future source of
much of Mike's misery. He never did tell Carrie. That was the beginning of an ongoing trend of not telling Carrie how
he felt, a trend that would become very hard to break.


Ch 19
He woke up alone, again. he always woke up alone. For years it was like this, yet recently he'd hoped that his days of
lonely nights and solitary mornings were over. No such luck. It took him a moment to figure out where he was, just a
moment until he recognized the smells of formeldehyde(sp?) and mass produced food that had become so familiar to
him over the years. Okay, so he knew he was in the hospital. What he didn't know was why. He remembered Carrie
telling him she had never loved him. Yep, that still stood out crystal clear in his hazy memory. And he remembered
going to him mom's and throwing things in frustration but after that...well after that the images were replaced by fog.
What had he done? Where had he gone? And what had happened to him?

Strangely enough he felt no pain. In his experience, people who regained consciousness after an accident or whatever
it was that had landed him here, were always in pain. Yet he felt numb all over, numb from everything except the
unmistakable ache brought by the knowledge that Carrie was his no longer, that she had actually never been.
Knowing that, he wished he were dead.

*** *** *** ***

Carrie paced the halls, waiting fo someone, anyone to tell her something, to say that there had been a change. Mike
had stirred a bit earlier and Lexie had suggested that she leave. There was concern that after what she's said to him
before, seeing her would upset him. She'd agreed and stepped outside but darn it she wanted to be near him. SHe
wanted to hold his hand and tell him it was all a lie. She wanted to make him understand that it was all for his sake,
that in reality her heart was his and always would be. But she could say nothing of the sort to him if she could not see
him and presently she didn't even know if he'd awoken yet.

Craig Wesley came walking down the hall with his usual air of power and prestige. However, even the most
prejudiced observer had to admit that he did look concerned for his former med school friend. Mike may have been a
persistent thorn in his side but he had extricated himself and Craig now felt able to feel worried. And when he saw
Carrie outside Mike's door he felt a pang of sympathy and even remorse; she loved him. Through all the games he
and nancy had played on her feelings and every prank they pulled, she really loved him. Now she was miserable and
so was Mike and it was all Craig Wesley's fault.

"Craig, can you please go see him? I think he was starting to wake up earlier."

"Then why aren't you in there?"

"Because I'm not his favorite person now and my presence in there could be detrimental. Please Craig, I just need to
know that he's all right."

"Okay, fine. I'll be back in a few."

*** *** *** ***

When he entered the room he saw that sure enough, Mike was conscious, perhaps not alert but awake nonetheless.
But man he looked like sh**.

"Hi there Mike. How are you feeling."

"Like I was run over by a freight train. I wasn't was I?"

"No. I take it you don't know what happened to you?"

"Not a clue. I remember leaving my mother's house but nothing after that."

"Well, your car spun off the road and wrapped around a tree. You've been out for almost a week now."

"Oh. Am I ok?"

"We don't really know. I'll be honest with you Mike; you had us worried. Especially Carrie."

"Is Carrie here?"

"She's right outside. I'll go get her." He turned towards the door but Mike grabbed his arm.

"No, don't. I don't ever want to see her again for as long as I live."

Ch 20

"What are you talking about Mike? Of course you want to see Carrie. I'll go get her right now."

Mike quickly became agitated and grabbed Craig's arm. "Don't do that Craig. Pleas, I mean it. I don't want to see
her. Ever." He was begging with his eyes and although he was, to say the least, confused about this request he had no
choice but to grant it.

He saw her sitting out in the hall and his heart broke for her. Despite everything that had happened during the CoS
race and after she and Mike won, he knew she didn't deserve this kind of pain. He wouldn't wish it on his worst
enemy. Besides, all that stuff with Ali and the plotting hadn't really been personal. He'd just wanted tht job more than
anything else. And even Craig Wesley had to admit that Carrie Brady loved Mike Horton with all her heart. And now
he would be the one to break that heart.

As soon as Mike's family and friends saw Craig, they stood up and began asking questions all at once. Which he tried
to answer one at a time.

"He's awake and surprisingly enough he looks not to bad. I think he'll be fine, though it will take some time."

"Can we see him?"

"Yes but please only one or two at a time."

Carrie started to head towards Mike's room but Craig reluctantly stopped her. "Carrie, can I speak to you alone for a
moment?"

"Uh, sure Craig. What is it?"

He pulled her aside and sat her down. "I spoke with Mike."

"Yeah, and...?"

"And I asked him if he wanted to see you."

"Well what did he say? I really need to see him"

"I amm so, so sorry Carrie and believe me it pains me greatly to do this..."

"What is it Craig? Would you pleas just tell me whatever it is?"

He sighed deeply. "Carrie, I am so so sorry. But Mike told me, rather forcefully in fact that he didn't want to see you.
Not now and not ever."

The look on her face was one he would always remember. It was as though her heart had been ripped in two yet
again. For the longest time she didn't speak, barely even moved. And then, just as he was about to say something
about how surely Mike would change his mind in a few days, she took off and ran.

As Carrie was leaving, Alice was just returning from seeing Mike.

"Craig, I'm very concerned about Micheal."

"Why is that Alice? Is condition as improved a lot."

"I know that. It's just, when I asked about carrie...well he said that..."

"That he didn't want to see her. He told me."

"It's just not like him Craig. I know he and Carrie are having problems but he's never not wanted to see her before.
She must have really hurt him."

"I'm sure she did. And now he's paying her back by hurting her. And it's working. When I told her, she ran out of here
as fast as she could."

"Something must be done."

He saw what almost looked like a light go on in Alice's eyes. "What is it?"

"Well Craig, I know for a fact that you have schemed against my grandson and Carrie i the past. This time do you
think you could use your powers of manipulation to help them navigate their way back togehter."

"Why Mrs. Horton, I believe you're speaking my language."

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