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Date Posted: 18:34:58 03/05/01 Mon
Author: LaTwigg
Subject: REPOST: Adieu, Adios, Au Revoir Ch 21-25

Ch 21

Carrie sat alone inside the Cheatin' Heart, drowning her sorrows in a coke, not wanting to think about her life and
what she'd done with it. But it's all she could think about. About the last time she'd come here, another lonely night
like this one but for such different reasons.

He'd been with Ali, she hated to remember it but how could she forget the way he had kissed her, the way Ali
seemed to have taken over the place Carrie instinctively she was supposed to have in Mike's heart. She hated to think
that he wouldn't be there when she finally made up her mind. So she had done the one thing she could think of, she
got mad.

"Well congratulations Carrie, you were successful." She said to herself, looking back on that night. "You got him didn't
you Carrie. You forever imbedded yourself in his heart and what happened? You fell in love with eachother until you
couldn't hold back and when you gave in you both lost everything. And now you can't even take comfort in knowing
that at least he still loves you. He's made it pretty clear that he doesn't."

Thinking about Mike and how she would never again have his heart in any way made the tears come in a shower of
unrestrained sadness. She sat there crying until her drink resembled murky water and had formed a small pool on the
table. Luckily for her, everyone in the establishment was either too drunk or too preoccupied to notice the melancholy
blond sitting in a far off corner.

"I'm sorry Mike." She said, her voice breaking between sobs. "I'm so so sorry."


**** **** ****

Sitting in their own secluded corner of the SUH cafeteria, Alice Horton and Dr. Craig Wesley were having a little
pow-wow. The few people who were paying attention found it ratherodd to see these two talking as if they were
friends. After all, it was pretty much common knowledge at the hospital that the Hortons all beleive the Wesleys had
had something to do with Mike's downfall. As a matter of fact, the majority of the hospital staff shared this belief. But
whatever the reason, Alice and Craig had clearly found something in common.

"Okay, we know that the issue here isn't really to make Mike stop hating Carrie." Alice said.
"Everyone who knows Micheal even a little knows that he couldn't stop loving her if he tried, because he has, on
several occasions."

"I agree. So then how do we make him see that he does still love her?"

"Well, I think he knows that already. The problem is that he's struggling against it. What we must do is make Micheal
realize that his love for Carrie is worth the pain that may come with it. I believe that's the problem, he's afraid of being
hurt again and he thinks if he pushes her away he'll keep that from happening."

A light appaered to go in Craig's head. Alice had to admit that the man was good at scheming and could make a
powerful ally so long as he was on her side.

"What is it Craig. What are you thinking of?"

"Well, there's one thing that Mike has never denied: that he loves Alyssia with all his heart."

"She's his daughter, of course he loves her."

"Yes, well, he will surely want to spend time with her right? Carrie is Alyssia's mother. Eventually, in order to spend
time with ALyssia he'll have to spend it with Carrie too and if he sees Carrie all the time he won't be able to pretend
he doesn't love her."

"Dr. Wesley, you're a genius! That just might work."

He leans in and whispers, "Okay, so here's what we do..."


CH 22

Her lost wandering brought her to a tiny patch of sand in a secluded part of town. It reminded her of L.A. and that
night when Mike had built her a sandcastle. She didn't know why she'd come except that she couldn't stand the looks
of pity she was getting. Everyone eemed to have heard about Mike's request and they al insisted on telling her how
sorry they were. She didn't want them to be sorry for he because she ws to blame. It had been her fear and her pride
which had driven him away. She got what she deserved.

She knelt on the damp ground and started waving her hand back and forth in the sand, thinking about everything that
had happened since that night in Los Angeles. She'd long ago stopping pining for Austin and had instead turned her
attentions towards Mike only now he wasn't there and neither was Austin. She knew some expected her to go back
to him but she could never do that. She knew now, if she had ever really been in doubt, that whether he wanted her or
not Mike was the only man who could ever possess her whole heart. Though she may have lost him she could not
betray the love she felt for him again by turning elswhere for comfort.

Her thoughts drifted back to the present and she realized she had built and exact replica of the castle he had built for
her what seemed like a lifetime ago. In many ways it had been a lifetime. She had lived a life with Austin and found
that it had nearly killed her soul. Amidst the expressions of disappointment from her fmaily and friends and the
suffering she had felt and that she'd caused others to feel. The castle was identical to the first, right down to the starfish
in the doorway. Yes, she had kept the starfish hidden away in a locked box before, during and after her marriage to
Austin. Since Mike's departure after the scandal she's begun to carry it with her in her purse, so that she would always
have a part of him with her.

All she could think about was the many ways in which she had failed yet she harboured few regrets. She no longer felt
any desire to be the perfectdaughter, the one who never made mistakes because her biggest mistakes were the only
things she wouldn't change. She would not go back and choose not to kiss Mike any of those times and she would
never choose not to sleep him. No, certainly not, for that night had produced the only thing she had left in her life, her
little angel Alyssia.

*** *** ***

Mike was determined not to think of Carrie, mostly because he couldn't think of her without thinking of how much he
had loved her, how much he still loved her. It made it all the more dificult not to pick up the phone and call her. How
he ached to do so, to hear her voice on the other end of the line and in particular to hear that voice tell him she loved
him. But he would not succumb to his desries. Each time he felt the urge to let is resolve crumble he allowed his heart
to freeze and his soul to become numb. It was only when he didn't feel that he didn't hurt so even if he meant never
loving, he would remain hardened and unreachable.

Alice knocked quietly and hesitantly at the door. Mike hadn't been very eager to have visitors of any kind and though
she did not doubt his love for his daughter she did wonder if he was ready for such a visitor as the little girl. Still, Craig
was right, perhaps for the firt time since he had arrived in town. If Mike was ever going to allow Carrie in his life again
it would have to start through Alyssia. It was the only way he would allow himself to think of her.

Mike's answer from the other side of the door forced her to stop thinking and start putting the plan into motion.

"Hello Micheal darling, how are you feeling?"

"Better I suppose though if I were still CoS I'd have them change the menu. What brings you here?"

"Well, what's more important is who I brought with me. She took ALyssia out of the bassinett at her feet and out her
in Mike's arms. "I thought perhaps you would like to see your daughter. If I was wrong in thinking that ear just tell me
and we'll leave."

"No gran, not at all. I was missing her. It's amazing how quickly you can fall in love with a child and how
all-consuming that love becomes. It's the only kind that doesn't hurt."

"You're wrong Micheal. All love can hurt because those we love can hut us. Once Jeremy is older you'll understand."

"What do you mean?"

"When Jeremy gets married and grows up, even has children of his own, you will feel heartache because he won't
need you in the same way. He will no longer be our child but rather your son and take it from someone who knows,
that feeling of loss hurts."

"I know Gran, I do but right now I just want to focus on what little Lissia has brought into my life. She's all I have."

"I knw you don't want to talk about Carrie Mike but--"

"Don't Gran. Don't say it. Please don't spoil this moment for me by bringing that up. Carrie is out of my life and that's
where she'll stay. Please don't bring her up again."

"All right, if that's what you want but I'm afraid for you my dear dear grandson, I'm afraid that you will shut out love to
keep away the hurt and that you will oneday find that you will only cause your heart to break rather than prevent it."

"Could you leave me and my daughter alone for a while Gran? I'd like to be alone with her."

"Of course. I'm come back in an hour to get her. Everything you need is in the bag in that chair."

"Thanks Gran."

She closed the door with a sigh. This would not be an easy road and she sensed that there would be a gret deal more
pain for everyone. But all she could do was pray and keep believing that in the end Alyssia would save her parents
from loneliness.


Ch 23

Lexie watched Mike as he played with Alyssia. Alice brought her to his room every afternoon. She told everyone she
just wanted Alyssia to bond with her father and thought it would help Mike get better but almost everyone knew that
she was relly trying to get Mike to speak to Carrie. As she watched him read to the little girl and tickle her Lex
couldn't help but feel a tiny pang of jealousy. Despite everything her friends were going through she had faith that Fate
would bring them back together and once that happened, they would have a baby, something it seemed would always
be out of her reach.

This was the only time Mike smiled lately, when he had his daughter in front of him. She was the only perfect thing in
his life at the moment and not even the knowledge of how she would always remind him of her mother could mar that.
She was his angel, the light amidst the darkness of his world. She was sleeping now and he was contented just to
watch her, listening to her breathing. He had missed this part of Jeremy's life and always regretted it. He wasn't about
to miss a songle moment in Alyssia's lif, not for anything, not even his hatred of Carrie. There, he'd done it, he'd
allowed her to enter into his thoughts, a first since his vow not to let her into his heart ever again. No matter, she could
be in his thoughts but not in his life, not ever again.

____________________

Mike didn't see her watching him but she was. She'd discovered that she could look through the window to his room
and he wouldn't notice. She needed this time just to see him with their daughter, to watch him be happy. it was the
closest he'd allow her to get, the closest he might ever allow her to get. No matter how many people told her that he'd
change his mind, no matter how many of their friends assured her he didn't mean it, she knew him to well to believe it.
Mke was the most stubborn man she knew, though also the most kind. If he said he never wanted to see her again he
meant it and though it killed her, she knew he would never back down, never allow himself to love her again.

"I'm so sorry Mike, sorry for having let my fear get in our way again, sorry that you'll never give us another chance.
More than that, I'm so sorry that Alyssia will grow up the way we both did, without our parents together. She
deserves better than that and I think you know that as well as I do." Suddenly the urge to speak with him came over
her. No matter what happened she needed to hear it from his own lips that he didn't want her, it was the only way she
could accept it.

________________

Chloe had recently joined Belle as a candy striper, it was something to do and it made Nancy happy. She was
bringing flowers to a patient when she saw him. It was hard not to notice this guy who really didn't seem to belong in
Salem. No, he defintiely wasn't from town. he was tall, with and air of maturity and experience; his blond hair was
tousled and disheveled as if he'd just steeped off a plane. His stride was long and confident and he was coming
staright for her. A string of scenarios flashed trhough her mind about what he wanted, what he would say.

"Excuse me? Do you work here?"

"Huh? Yeah, why?"

"I'm looking for a patient's room. Can you help?"

"Um, depends, first I have to know the patient's name."

"Horton, Mike Horton."

"Oh I know where that is, everyone here's taken a special interest in his care. But if you're just a former patient or
something you can't see him. He's spending time with his daughter now."

"My name is Jeremy Horton. Mike is my father."


Ch 25

She was trembling with fear as she neared his room. Despite everyone's reassurances that he would welcome her if he
saw her, she knew that he might turn her away and say he hated her. True or not, those words would hurt more than
any she'd ever heard. Though Mike was the most loving man she'd ever met he was also the most stubborn. He didn't
often back down once he decided on something so if he'd made up his mind to hate her she knew there would be no
hope for them. But she had to know. Even going through life without him would be better than never knowing for sure
that it had to be that way. The trip to the door seemed to take years but still she arrived too soon.

"Are you up for visitors?"

"Depends on the visitor. Why?" His voice was cold and it threw her off guard. There was barely a hint of the warmth
with which he'd spoken to her before, the warmth that had melted her heart.

"I thought we could talk." His eyes were blank and icy but she noted that they were still the same eyes that could
penetrate into her soul and read her thoughts.

"I don't see what we have to talk about."

"Quite a bit actually. Mike, I have heard how you feel from everyone but you. If you truly hate me and never want to
see me then tell me to my face. If you do that I'll accept it and walk out of your life."

"It's not that simple Carrie and you know it."

"It's never been simple for us Mike. But does that really mean it's not worth it. Would you honestly give up Las
Vegas, L.A., July 4th if you had the chance?"

"No, never. Those were the best moments of my life but they're over now. We're over now."

"How can you say that when we've barely begun? Mike, you were always the one who never gave up on me, on us. I
married Austin and you still didn't stop loving me."

"Not for lack of trying."

"That's how I know you still love me Mike. You could no more easily erase your feelings for me than I could erase
mine for you. We are one Mike. We always will be."

"And every time we're together we hurt each other and the people we care the most for."

"We've made mistakes Mike, I'll grant you that and yes people have been hurt by our mistakes. But we're not alone in
that Mike. Marlena and John made many of the same mistakes but they're together and stronger than ever. It can
work for us Mike. I know it can."

"I don't think so carrie. It's just not worth it. Love isn't worth it."

"Is this you saying that?! Love isn't worth it Mike? Is that what you're going to teach our daughter."

"Of course not."

"If you wouldn't teach it to her than it doesn't apply to you either."

"I don't quite understand your logic but whatever."

"Mike, look at me. LOOK at me!" She lifts his head so his eyes are looking straight at hers. "Can you tell me here and
now that you do not love me? If you can do that I'll accept that it's over."

"It's not a matter of not loving you Carrie. I'll always love you."

"In that case I give you exhibit A. She turns on a cassette and starts singing All you need is love by the Beatles.

Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say, but you can learn
How to play the game -
It's easy.
Nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do, but you can learn
How to be you in time -
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.
There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
There's nowhere you can be that isn't where
You're meant to be -
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.
All you need is love. (All together now).
All you need is love. (Everybody).
All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.
Love is all you need.
Love is all you need...
(Yesterday)
(Oh yeah)
(She love you, yeah, yeah, yeah)
(She love you, yeah, yeah, yeah)
(Oh, yesterday)

By the end Mike is chuckling. "Mission accomplished." She says with a grin.

"What?" he asks.

"You're laughing. That has to be a good sign."

"One song can't solve all our problems."

"No. But are you willing to try and slve the rest?"

"I'm not sure."

"For Alyssia Mike. Will you try and save us for her sake?"

"That's not fair Carrie. You know I'd do anything for that angel."

"Then it's settled. You and I are going to dinner as soon as you're released on Friday."

"But_"

"No buts Mike. We are going on a date. End of discussion."

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