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Date Posted: 18:28:05 03/05/01 Mon
Author: LaTwigg
Subject: REPOST: Adieu, Adios, Au Revoir Ch 1-5

[Author's note: Well I'll bet you're all going what's she doing here? I know, it's been just a little while. Anyway, I've
pretty much finished the story so I figured I might as well post it. Please send feedback. ~LaTwigg~]

CHAPTER ONE
* We both know that I shouldn't be here
This is wrong
And Baby it's killing me; it's killing you
And both of us trying to stay strong
I got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep
Someone else who loves me
And trusts me fast asleep
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than this
It's the hardest thing I'll ever haveto do
To look you in the eye and tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry
I can't let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied and my heart's not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretend that I don't love you
We will meet again
Fate has a place and time
So you can get on with your life
I've got to be cruel to be kind
Like Dr. Zhivago
All my love I'll be sending
And you will never know
Cause there can be no happy ending
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye and tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me and she deserves better than this
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye and pretend that I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry
I can't let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied and my heart's not free
We're not meant to be*
She walked past his open office door and didn't so much as glance at him. She was avoiding him. This blatantly
obvious fact was painful and impossible for him to accept. From her demeanor towards him you'd never have guessed
that just a few short weeks ago they'd made love in Las Vegas. Damn Austin and his rotten timing! If he hadn't shown
up Carrie wouldn't feel so giult she couldn't look him in the face. Sure, maybe what they'd done hadn't been the most
righteous thing in the world but Austin sure hadn't been a sain either. What had he expected to happen when he'd run
away with Carrie's sister? That she'd wait for him forever? Sure, he hadn't known about them at first but what
happened in Vegas was his own fault for not confronting Carrie when he'd first seen them kissing. Mike had learned
the hard way that if you expected people to wait for you you'd get left behind. He was ashamed of his anger towards
Austin but couldn't deny it. Austin had more than likely sabotaged whatever chance he may have had with Carrie. He
ciuldn't blame him for fighting for his marriage but he knew Austin didn't deserve her and never would. He didn't know
or appreciate what he had in her. Mike did. Oh boy did he ever. She was patient and carring and beautiful and was
she ever beautiful. More importantly she was intelligent and had a pure soul. She was everything Austin was not.
Each time she walked by it became clearer that whatever chance they may have had at a future was lost for good.
She was furious with himbut why he didn't know. She seemed to have forgotten that SHE'D asked him to make love
to her and HE had stopped for a moment, thinking it wasn't right but SHE had asked him again. It had slipped her
mindthat they'd both been there that night. He couldn' tell her that because she refused to even look at him. Did she
think she was the only one who was hurt? Seeing her like this and for once not be able to do anything was killing him.
Nothing meant anything without her. He could barely drag himself to work in the morning because now instead of
talking to him she always sent a messenger. He couldn't go on much longer; something had to break and he hada
sinking feeling it was going to be his heart.

Actually Carrie had looked at Mike, just out of the corner of her eye. She was glad to see that the bruise on his jaw
was alsmost invisible now. She felt bad that Austin had it him; she had after all been the one to invite Mike into her
room. She kenw he thought she was angry and she was but only at herself for falling in love with him. She knew if she
was in a room alone with him she woudn't be able to stop herself and wouldn't even want to. She couldn't risk that;
both Mike and Austin had been hurt enough as it was, not to mention her family. Right now she could only
concentrate on mending fences with Sami and caring for Will. If anything could save her and Austin it was Will.
The next moring, when Carrie arrieved at work, there was an envelope sitting on her dest with Princess written on it, a
sure sign that it was from Mike. She couldn't stop a smile from spreading across her face. She loved it when he
surprised her. Well, she was definitely surprised.


Princess Carrie,
Each time I look at you I see in your eyes how much youu truly want to
work things out with Austin. That's always been what you wanted deep
within you heart hasn't it? I was just a stand-in in case that didn't happen
and as long as I'm here it won't. We both know that Austin can't and won't
move past what he saw if I'm still around because he'll always suspect that
there's still something going on. Besides, I don't think I could stayaway from
you if I was that close. It's nine o'clock now Carrie; in about an hour you'll
find this letter but by then I'll be gone. In half and hour John's plane is
taking me to Isreal and I won't be returning to Salem. I can see that family
is most important to you now and you're right; Will needs two full time
parents. So does Jeremy. I'm going back to finally be close to my only child.
The day will not come when I won't think of you. Be happy Carrie, no matter
what else,just be happy.
Mike
P.S. Could you please clean out my office for me? I left in a hurry. Thanks.
*Song is titled The Hardest Thing by 98 Degrees

CHAPTER TWO
*All my bags are packed,
I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin',
It's early morn
The taxi's waitin',
He's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome
I could cry.
(Chorus)
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go.
I'm leavin' on a jet plane
I Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go.
There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Ev'ry place I go, I'll think of you
Ev'ry song I sing, I'll sing for you
When I come back, I'll wear your wedding ring.
(Chorus)
Now the time has come to leave you
One more time
Let me kiss you
Then close your eyes,
I'll be on my way.
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times, I won't have to say,
(Chorus)*
He looked out the window of the plane with tears in his blue eyes. The pilot couldn't help but wonder what could have
possibly made him so melancholy. He looked like he'd lost his best friend. They didn't know that he had. Mike
watched as the plane sped down the runway, leaving Salem and his life behind him.It was with mixed feelings that he
had asked John for the use of his plane. He knew it was for the best but it was the hardest thing he had ever done.
eaving meant giving up on any chance he may have had at Carrie and any shot at happiness. He was leaving his
dreams behind him. He'd had all that he wanted for just one night. A part of him thought he could have it again but he
could not bring himself to cause her pain. He hated seeing her with a frown on her beautiful lips and would have given
anything to make them smile. So he had done the only thing he could think of to make her life simple again; he had left.
He wasn't sure of much any more. He didn't know if she loved him or not. He didn't know if his son would want to
see him when he got to Isreal. He didn't know if he would even have as good a job as he'd had in Salem. All he knew
for certain was that if he didn't go now he would risk destroying Carrie's life and that was one thing he could never do.


Lexie knocked on Mike's office door to discuss a detail about her residency. What she pfound instead was Carrie
crouched on the floor, rocking back and forth and holding a crumpled piece of paper in her hand. Although Lexie had
a feeling she knew what or who had Carrie in this state, she still felt the need to ask:
"What's wrong Carrie?"
Carrie couldn't stop crying long enough to answer and turned away from Lexie.
"Please Carrie. I know you're upset about something and I'm your friend so please tell me what it is. I want to help
you."
Carrie handed Lexie the note she was clutching. Lexie didn't even need to read the whole thing nbefore she
understood. "Oh my Carrie. I'm so sorry. When did you find this note?"
"An...an....an...hour...ago. It...it's all my....fau...fault."
"What happened in Las Vegas Carrie. I know this has something to do with that but Mike wouldn't tell me."
"We...we...made love and Austin saw us so I...I told Mike to...leave...me...alone. I...guess he...listened."
"It's okay Carrie. Maybe it's for the best. You wnted to work things out with Austin anyway right? This will probably
be easier for everyone."
"You don't understand. I can't work things out with Austin, ever, not now."
"Why not Carrie? I thought that's what you wanted?"
"I thought so too but Lexie..."
"What is it Carrie?"
"I'm almost a week late."
* Song is titled Leaving on a Jet Plane by Peter, Paul & Mary
(John Denver)Cherry Lane Music, Inc. BMI

CHAPTER THREE
*All alone tonight, I'm calling out your name
Somewhere deep inside this part of you remains
Images of love take me back in time
I don't know how it started or why it ever had to end
But something stepped inside we didn't let it in
It's keeping us apart, where are you now
CHORUS:
Where are you now? Is someone there tonight
Holding what was mine?
Where are you now? Do you wonder where I am,
Are you really feelin' fine?
Goin' through my life without you by my side
You're the only thing that keeps goin' through my mind
And nothin' that I do can take the place of you
CHORUS
Oooh, thinkin' about you, girl,
There's gotta be a place for me
Somewhere in your heart
All alone tonight, I'm calling out your name
Somewhere deep inside this part of you remains
Images of love, where are you now?
CHORUS
Where are you now? Is someone there tonight
Holding what was mine?
Where are you now? Do you wonder where I am,
I need you here tonight*
He stepped off the plane and into what seemed like another world, one in which he was an alien and terribly ot of
place. There was no Java Cafe or Cheatin' Heart or any other landmark in his relationship with Carrie. He couldn't
walk over to Gran's house for tea and donuts or even go for a run to work off some tension. All he could do was take
a taxi to an uninviting building where he was to live but which he would never be able to call home. Home was an
ocean and half a world away with a woman whose strength, intelligence and determination matched her beauty. It was
where he could always lean on his family when he felt he could no longer stand on his own and where there was no
shortage of friends who cared. Home had that familiar smell of Carrie's perfume that alomost replaced the air when
she entered a room. It was where they'd made most of their memories together except for the most precious yet most
bittersweet of all because it was the reason why home would never welcome him again.
Everyone else called it a mistake, including Carrie herself but he could not bring himself to call it that, even though it
had wreaked havoc on the lives of those he loved most. He was grateful for it. The magic contained in those precious
hours had made up for all the lonely nights he had spent pining for her. Now it would have to sustain him during the
lonely months and years that were undoubtably to come. Every cell in his body seemed to ache with his need to be
near her. He'd once thought that to see her and be unable to touch her was torture; now he would have gladly sold his
soul for a single glimpse. He wondered what she was doing at that moment, if she missed him at all. Prior to his
departure he'd often felt that she didn;t really love him or at least that saving her marriage and her pride was her top
priority. SHe'd often seemed distant and sometimes even cold. Each of those times had added to a blinding pain that
he had let on to no one. It was partly why he left, because he couldn't bear the thought of one day seeing her back
with a man he knew was all wrong for her. He'd done it once but could not do it again, not for any job or even the
respect of an entire town. It simply could not be borne a second time. He only wished he had a window into her
thoughts so he could know if her love was as eternal as his own.

She stared at the piece of paper and then at Lexie in disbelief. It cpuld not be true. Of all the things that could have
happened why this and why now? Was someone trying to punish her all over again?
"Are you absolutely sure Lexie?"
"Yes Carrie, I am. Would you like to discuss your options?"
"I know my options but somehow they all include telling my family and Austin, not to mention Mike."
"So you are going to tell him?"
"I have no choice. I could never keep something like that from him. I need him to tell me that everything will be all
right. You know, sometimes I get so angry with him because he escaped all the media garbage and left me here to
contend with the whispers and the stares. He didn't have to see the picture of us in The Tattler. They make it sound so
dirty and ugly but they don't know how perfect it was."
"That didn't seem to be how you felt about it before. You treated it like a disaster that you wished you had avoided.
Your behavior hurt Mike a great deal you know."
"I know and believe me I wish I'd acted differently. I don't want to pretend that it never happened but it would have
been so much better if it had happened differently. Maybe some of the changes are reversible though."
"Carrie, I have to ask, do you think that Mike will get on the same plane back when you tell him?"
"I know Mike. He will."
"I agree but do you think that that would be fair to him?"
"What do you mean?"
"Because coming back here would mean reliving the scandal. It's died down now and you've gotten used to it but if he
ever came back it would be like adding gasoline to a smoldering fire."
"But I can't do this alone Lexie. I need him. Maybe I'll go to him instead."
"Have you thought about adoption?"
"I could never give up my child, Mike's child, knowing full well that I could give him or her a good life."
"A good life Carrie? Would you really call being constantly told of the circumstances surrounding your conception a
good life?"
"I know it won't be perfect or even easy but in my heart there's no other option."
Lexie gets up and leaves the room. "I hope you know what you're doing Carrie, for everyone's sake." She tells
herself.
*song is titled Where are you now?
Jimmy Harnen

CHAPTER FOUR
*I hear you're taking the town again
Havin' a good time
With all your good-time friends
I don't think that you think of me
You're on your own now
And I'm alone and free
I know that I should get on with my life
But a life lived without you
Could never be right
Chorus:
As long as the stars shine down
>From the heavens
Long as the rivers run
To the sea
I'll never get over you
Getting over me
I try to smile so the hurt won't show
Tell everybody
That I was glad to see you go
But the tears just won't go away
(Won't go away..)
Loneliness found me
Looks like it's here to stay
I know that I oughta find someone new
But all I find is myself
Always thinkin' of you
Chorus
Oh!
No matter what I do
Each night's a lifetime to live through
I can't go on like this
(I need your touch)
You're the only one I'll ever love)
Oh, oh.. ah....
Ooh.....
Ooh.....
Ooh.....
And as
Long as the stars shine down
From the heavens
Long as the rivers run
To the sea
I'll never get over you
Getting over me
I'll never get over you
Getting over
Never get over you...
Getting over
I'll never get over you
Getting over me*
"Hi Laura! Can I come in?"
"of course Carrie. I haven't seen you since--"
"Since Mike left. Well, I've been trying to put my life back together without him."
"And with Austin."
"I didn't want Mike to leave, Laura. It was his choice, not mine."
"I know that Carrie and I'm not cross with you. I just wish I'd succeeded in convincing Mike to tell you the truth
before you wedding."
"I wish that too. Things probably would have been very different."
"You would have postponed the wedding?"
"Of course. I would have had to reevaluate my feeling for both men and decide which relationship would make me
happy. If I'd done that than Mike would have definitely ended up on top."
"I've often felt that if the events of that day had been different you and Mike would be married, perhaps even with a
child."
An odd look passed over Carrie's face but Laura shrugged it off.
"Was there something in particular you wanted Carrie?"
"I was just wondering if you'd been in touch with Mike."
"I've talked to him. He likes his new job much better than the last because now he feels like he's truly making a
difference in his patients' lives. He's having a great time spending time with Jeremy. He really missed being close to
him."
"I know."
"I was sort of surprised by his apparent content. I thought he would have been more homesick."
"You thought he'd miss me."
"Well, yes. He missed you like crazy when you married Austin and you were still in the same town."
"When he left he said he wanted to be alone. What he meant was he wanted to be apart from me." "That surprises
me, to say the least. I fail to understand his sudden change of heart."
"I don't really understand either but it's what he wanted so I have to accept it."
"well I'm here if you need to talk."
Carrie got into her car and drove away. "I can't tell Mike I'm pregnant. Lexie's right; it would ruin his life when he's
just getting it back on track. I can't do that to him; I love him too much. I guess now it's time to tell Austin."

"Austin, can we talk?"
"Sure. What about?"
"Austin, I'm pregnant."
"Oh. I don't think I need to ask who the father is."
"Austin, I still want to work things out with you. I know this changes a lot but we managed with Will."
"That was a bit different. Unless that is you were drugged into sleeping with Mke."
"We didn't know the truth from the beginning. Just tell me Austin, can you and I be a family to this baby?"
"I don't know Carrie. I don't know if I can handle having a reminder of your affair around all the time. With my luck
the baby will look like Mike. Speaking of which, weren't you planning on telling him?"
"I uh, I decided not to."
"Why not Carrie?"
"Because it would destroy his life a second time."
"So you're going to keep his child from him. I do believe that you wouldn't be the first. Wasn't Mike hurt that Robin
didn't tell him about Jeremy right away?"
"Of course he was but he'll be hurt more if I tell him and he comes back here, so will everyone else involved. Austin,
you always wanted to have a child. I'm offering you that chance."
"I wanted to have a child with you. The idea wasn't to raise yours and Mike's child. I think you should tell him."
"Well that's just another thing we disagree on. Can you do this or not?"
"If this is what you really want then yes but I think you'll end up regretting this."
"It would just be another to add to the list."

"Excuse me, Dr. Horton?"
"That's me."
"The CoS will see you for an interview now." A small wave of sadness swept over him briefly at the mention of his
former title."
"Thank you."
"Well, if it isn't the esteemed Dr. Micheal Horton. I can't tell you how pleased the board was to hear that you were
looking for a position on our staff. Your reputation and references are outstanding. Frankly, this interview is really just
a formality. We would be honoured to have you head up our Peds department. Still, it surprises me that you would
want to take such a step down."
"Well, I wanted to be closer to my son."
"Understandable. I'd like you to attend a banquet tonight. Our PR director will present you to the media and more
importantly you can meet other members of the staff."
"Thanks. I'll be there."
The doctor noticed the expression on Mike's face when he mentioned the banquet. He didn't ask but knew that there
was pain in the man's past. Dr. Harris did not doubt that it was the real reason why he had journeyed so far. He was
convinced that Dr. Horton was running away from something or someone.
**song is I'LL NEVER GET OVER YOU (GETTING OVER ME)
Exposé

CHAPTER FIVE
*Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I wish on a star that somewhere you are
thinking of me too
Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
than here in my room
dreaming about you and me
Wonder if you ever see me and I
wonder if you know I'm there (am I there, am I?)
If you looked in my eyes would you see what's inside
Would you even care?
I just wanna hold you close but so far
all I have are dreams of you
So I wait for the day (wait for the day)
to take the courage to say
how much I love you
Yes I do
I'll be dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
than here in my room
dreaming about you and me
Corazón
No puedo dejar de pensar en ti
Cómo te necesito
Mi amor, como te extraño
Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I still can't believe
that you came up to me and said
I love you
I love you too
Now I'm dreaming with you tonight
Till tomorrow (till tomorrow) and for all of my life
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
than here in my room
Dreaming with you endlessly*
several months later
Dr. Suzanne Arthur watched Dr. Horton from the doorway of his office. She wanted to verify what the other female
members of the staff had told her about the new Chief of Pediatrics. They'd been right on the money with their
description that he was devastatingly handsome but completely closed off. She had been standing there for five
minutes already and although he had looked right at her, he hadn't seen her yet. It wasn't charts he was pouring over;
it was a picture of what seemed to be a woman.
'It's a good thing I'm not the CoS or the board. They wouldn't like to see a staff member slacking off.' "Excuse me,
Dr. Horton?"
He glanced up quickly and put the photo back on the desk. "Do I know you?"
"Not yet. I'm a doctor on staff here, I just got back from a leave of absence. Actually you edged me out for the job."
"Sorry; I didn't know anyone else had applied."
"No hard feelings. You're much more qualified than I am. Wow, CoS, why would you want a lowly position like
this?"
"My son lives here. I decided it was time to be closer to him."
"Makes sense." 'But that's not the real reason, that woman is.' "She's beautiful."
"Huh?"
"The photograph. Is that a girlfrined?"
"Did you come here for the third degree or did you have actual hospital business to discuss?"
"Point well taken. I wanted you to double check this little girl's chart. My instincts are telling me that I'm missing
something."
"I'll get right on it. Is that all?"
"Yep. It was nice meeting yo Dr. Horton."
"You too, Dr..."
"Arthur, Suzanne Arthur."
'Well Dr. Horton, whoever that mystery woman is she must have really broken your heart in order to close you off
like this. Your certainly not very sociable. How unfortunate that she had your heart when there are so many women
here who'd love to date you. Well, I've yet to find a mystery I couldn't solve. I'll find out your secret.'

Carrie awoke to the sound of someone knocking on the door. As always, her heart skipped a beatwith the hope that
it might finally be Mike, coming back for her. She put on her robe and braced her heart for the disappointment that
would come when she opened the door. It was never Mike; it never would be Mike again, no matter how many times
she prayed that it would be. She held her breath as she slowly turned the doorknob; it was a good thing too because
what she saw took her breath away.
"Mike?! Is it you? Could it possibly be you?"
"Of course it's me Carrie. I never said I'd be gone for good. I missed you so much Carrie, can I come in."
"Of course. Oh Mike, I can't believe you're really back. I've dreamt of this so many times but I never thought it would
come true. Kiss me Mike so I'll know you're really there."
They did much more than just kiss, right there on the couch. He made all her dreams come true but when she woke
up the next morning her nightmare began again.
"Mike? Where'd you go. Mike? No Mike please, don't leave me again. I need you Mike. No! You can't be gone,
you can't!"
'Carrie, Carrie, wake up. You were having a dream."
"Oh, Austin. It was a dream?"
"Yeah, the same one you've been having for months. You were calling out Mike's name in your sleep."
"Was I? Oh, I'm sorry."
"Carrie, this isn't going to work."
"What do you mean? What isn't going to work?"
"Us, this, being together. Carrie, you love Mike, not me. You should be with him, not me."
"But I can't be with him. He doesn't want me to be with him."
"You don't know that Carrie. I'm sure if you went to him he'd welcome you with open arms."
"No, he's started over; he's probably seeing someone else."
"Someone else? Carrie, he could even stop loving you when you and I got married. He's not going to stop now."
"Austin-- oh God."
"What? What is it?"
"Austin...I uh...I think I'm going into labour."
"But you're only seven months."
"I know that Austin but I really think it's time."
* song is Dreaming of You by Selena

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