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Date Posted: 06:58:58 08/21/13 Wed
Author: Lilly, an RN
Subject: Re: Raven Update 8/18/13
In reply to: GoodWillTalking 's message, "Raven Update 8/18/13" on 14:02:34 08/19/13 Mon

Dear Sweet Raven girl,

I now live close to the Cancer Treatment Center considered to be the best in the USA.. However, I come from a small southern state with not much at all going for it in the way of healthcare. It really was dismal. As my friends and I entered middle age, we each had to travel long distances for the best care. Those who didn't, who either ignored their chest pain or headaches, or settled for what the local doc in a box had to offer suffered greatly and they are mostly all deceased now because they didn't fight for the best health care. I know you have tried, but you cannot wait upon a man who is not coming back. It doesn't work in the soap story lines either, does it? :)
Seriously, I want to encourage you to MOVE through the despair and depression.

I want to encourage you to broaden the circles on your map. Make the treatment facilities in other states available to you, even, if they are within 100-200 miles.

MANY of my dear sweet childhood friends with cancer go 100 miles each way week after week, month after month. They go because they know the care is better than what is available locally or regionally.

My best friend from school was diagnosed 2 years ago with a brain tumor, and she spent over a year fighting and we prayed for her so very hard. She had her husband to drive her to her appointments and she slept in the car on the way home when possible.

A dear friend of mine with ovarian cancer survived over a decade by being in clinical trials at Johns Hopkins (all meds and treatment free but transportation wasn't). Her husband worked 2 jobs to be able to fly her to Johns Hopkins every 2 weeks for many months, then every month for years. They were not wealthy and never will want to be.

Another friend from school had very advanced and complicated breast cancer, and she traveled even further in our home state for experimental treatment. I believe the round trip each week was 250 miles, by car. In the end, she opted out of Avastin because lots of women were having strokes but she has survived her breast cancer, and the last I heard, was doing well.

Please don't limit yourself because the hospitals and Cancer Treatment centers are over X number of miles from your house. If an excellent cancer treatment center can be reached on a day's journey and back home, then you can receive sedation and anti-nausea meds. to get you back home... Or stay overnight at a McDonald's house type of arrangement.

I have been extremely concerned for you since you put all your faith in the one doctor. I've done that myself a few times ( the OB for my only child's delivery, a specific surgeon for a risky surgery) and sometimes I did end up having to say " Yes' to another doctor.

I can see that you and the doctors in the group you have been going to have burned bridges. I don't think you will get better physically or emotionally with the depression and the turmoil BUT--- if you can get out a pencil and a drawing compass or just some string, you can take out a map of your state and make a circle of 100-150 miles and find yourself a cracker jack, top notch healer and compassionate Oncologist at an Oncological Hospital. You can tolerate a lot more than you think you can if the help is there for you when you get there.

A 2 hour drive sounds like a lot but break it down in 30 minute segments. Likewise if it's a bit longer.

From looking at US stat maps for the last few days and Googling hospital and cancer treatment in-patient centers and out-patient as well, it looks like EVERY person should a good, comprehensive Oncological treatment center within a 2-3 hour drive except maybe in remote areas of Montana or Wyoming ( no disrespect meant to those who live there).. The drive might be a bit longer if you have a 1,000 mile ranch or something but most of us aren't that isolated, Raven.
I've looked at the US maps, not having any idea where you are, and remembering how far my friends traveled every week to live and thrive, or at least to give it their best try. I can't find a single " cold spot" which has inaccessible cancer care and Oncological care.

I have a friend here who had successful treatment for a very complex brain tumor. The Neurosurgeon is a marvelous man and does things which others won't attempt. His bedside manner SUCKS, totally and utterly, but I would not go to anyone BUT this rude and brusque doctor if I needed brain surgery because of his proven surgical excellence.

The Bible is full of " Go forths".
I don't know, and I cannot know, but I felt led to write you about " Going forth" and maybe looking further out geographically.
What happened last year, last month, last week and yesterday is in the past. You are alive in the present, and I want you to be thriving and healing in the future. I love you!!!

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