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Date Posted: 01:50:29 10/22/11 Sat
Author: Ravenbeauty
Subject: Update on my surgery.

I was not expecting THIS level of pain. I'm so sorry it took me so long to check in, but I was not able to focus on anything but the pain since Monday. We've been trying to get it under control (they took a lot of extra tissue and everything is on fire right now). Walking is difficult because they stitched me so tight that it pulled some of my neck down into it (hunched over). I can't straighten up yet. Just trying to get through right now (pathology not back yet). Can't read my wall now (Facebook), but I can see that you guys have been really busy. God Bless you for all of your prayers and notes. I wanted to at least get a note to you to let you know that I made it through. I'm praying that the swelling goes down soon (I can't move)! I'll update when I can. Right now it's hard to even sit upright. Thank you for thinking of me. I love you guys so much! ♥

Your love and prayers mean the world to me. :)

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Replies:

[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Dineen, 02:02:22 10/22/11 Sat [1]

You shouldn't be apologizing to any of us! You are continually in my thoughts and prayers.

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[> [> Re: Update on my surgery. -- mamajj, 10:37:09 10/27/11 Thu [1]

Raven, you get some rest. Take care of yourself. we will all be waiting for you when you are ready & able to come back. Much love to you. ♥

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Tamalemama, 02:02:42 10/22/11 Sat [1]

Hi Raven. Thank you for thinking of all of us as you go through your recovery. We will continue to send positive thoughts and prayers your way.

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- soaplover, 03:15:56 10/22/11 Sat [1]

Thank you for taking the time to update us. I am not on Facebook. I can't even imagine the pain you are in. I read a little about the surgery for this condition and I cried like a baby. I admire your amazing strenght and courage and that is what is going to get you through. all of us out here are praying and staying positive for you, although we are huge numbers, I truly hope you have a face to face support system that is there for you. Much love,prayers and good thoughts coming at you.

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- dr.ivankipling, 04:07:39 10/22/11 Sat [1]

Thank God you're alright dear Raven!
You concentrate on getting better!Write/update when you can. We love you&are keeping you in constant thought&prayer.
Wishing you all the best dear Raven!!XOXOXOXO
-Dr.Ivankipling :)

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Catherine, 04:50:14 10/22/11 Sat [1]

Oh glad to hear that you made it though surgery. I will keep praying for you.

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Mollie, 04:53:15 10/22/11 Sat [1]

It is wonderful to hear from you!! Thank you for checking in. Bless your heart. You have been in our thoughts and prayers. Hopefully they will get the pain management worked out soon. Hang in there!

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Kathy, 05:45:23 10/22/11 Sat [1]

Here you are worrying about us. No worries my dear--take care of yourself--Remember--Live, love and laugh...

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Meg, 06:15:41 10/22/11 Sat [1]

Thanks so much for checking in and giving us an update. I am praying for a good pathology report, that the swelling goes down and that the pain would greatly improve!

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Quiet Reader, 08:35:13 10/22/11 Sat [1]

Thank you so much for the update. I continue to pray....God speed to recovery!!

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Sue, 09:11:46 10/22/11 Sat [1]

Actually, I thought we wouldn't hear from you for a few days yet....since we did, that's a good sign! Take care, we are here for you...

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Toy4230, 09:37:48 10/22/11 Sat [1]

Great to hear that the surgery went well. I know there is a lot of pain and you still have a little ways to journey on your path to recovery, but you are a strong and determined woman! Please know that your courage in sharing your battle is an inspiration and motivator for many! You are going to be fine. God bless you and here's to a speedy and successful recovery!

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- kandindy, 10:11:11 10/22/11 Sat [1]

May God's healing touch, soothe your pain and comfort your spirit and be your Balm in Gilead. Thou shalt keep you in perfect peace, if you keep your mind on him.

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Starlett, 11:05:21 10/22/11 Sat [1]

So glad to get a status report from you Raven. I hope they got all the bad stuff out and your pathology report has good news. I also hope that the pain decreases significantly each day. Sending good thoughts your way every day.

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- JOHNB, 11:11:40 10/22/11 Sat [1]

Thank you for posting an update for all of us inspite of all that you've been through. I'm sure you know that we're continuing our prayers for you and your recovery. WIll pray that you get relief from the pain and swelling soon. God Bless You! BIG HUGS!

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Anthony (;-)), 13:16:55 10/22/11 Sat [1]

What Raven no spoilers???? Kidding Raven I am truly glad you made it through and are on the mend be strong be positive and most importantly fight with all your might...SPOILER OF NOTE I CAME ACROSS I READ THIS GIRL RAVEN IS HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT BIG SURGERY AND ALL YOU GUYS WILL LIKE THE OUTCOME CAUSE SHE IS GOING TO COME OUT OF IT LIKE A CHAMP AND BE BIGGER BETTER AND STRONGER THAN EVER!!! HANG IN THERE RAVEN AND CONCENTRATE ON GETTING BETTER YOU ARE LOVED BY SO MANY AND LOVE CAN HEAL ANYTHING!!!! FEEL BETTER!!!

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Anonymous, 13:35:32 10/22/11 Sat [1]

So glad to hear from you. Checked every day to see if you had left a message on how you were doing. Hope you have a speedy recovery. Take good care of yourself and keep us informed as soon as you can.

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- MEG REDDEKOPP, 21:04:15 10/22/11 Sat [1]

GET WELL SOON .!

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[> ♡We love you! Prayers are being sent your way!♡ -- ♡Kim♡, 21:25:41 10/22/11 Sat [1]

We love you! Prayers are being sent your way!

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Tygableu, 21:55:41 10/22/11 Sat [1]

God bless you Raven. I am sending you all of my good wishes, thoughts, and prayers for a fast and pain free recovery.

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Karena, 22:24:33 10/22/11 Sat [1]

You are truly amazing worrying about us. May God's angels keep you close as you recover and give you relief from the pain. Our prayers continue for a speedy recovery.

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Paul Satterfield (Optimistic), 23:41:14 10/22/11 Sat [1]

Hi Raven,
So many more people pulling for you than you know.
Paul Satterfield

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[> [> Re: Update on my surgery. -- I miss you on OLTL!, 22:48:15 10/24/11 Mon [1]

That was very sweet of you. Now I know why I have always loved you throughout the years. You probably gave Raven quite the smile! I know you gave me one! We really miss you at OLTL! You should come back and give real Todd a run for his money! It would be perfect timing for you to come back!

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[> [> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Ravenbeauty, 00:32:25 10/25/11 Tue [1]

I'm incredibly honored Paul. Thank you for stopping by and reaching out. A much needed smile today. Thank you. XOXO.

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- guest, 00:09:56 10/23/11 Sun [1]

wishing u all the best on a speedy recovery

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Angela, 03:13:36 10/23/11 Sun [1]

Yeah! You made it through the surgery!!! I've been thinking about you every day and saying a prayer for you every night.

And while it's wonderful hearing from you, don't worry about us out here in cyberspace. Just concentrate on taking the time you need to feel better and get well.

Hoping for a super speedy recovery.

Angela

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- LindaV, 09:59:05 10/23/11 Sun [1]

Thanks for taking time out of your difficult situation to update us. Wishing you a quick, successful and soon I hope, painfree recovery. You are so special to us and it breaks my heart to hear what you are going thru. Get well soon, dear R.

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Ballerina (Dancingw/joy), 12:27:48 10/23/11 Sun [1]

Dancing w/joy that you have come through this trial. Praying your recovery is complete and you will return (on your timetable) refreshed and renewed physically and spiritually. Whenever that day is, we will all dance and celebrate again. God bless darlin'...

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[> [> Re: Update on my surgery. -- sammi, 02:09:27 10/24/11 Mon [1]

It hasn't even been a week and that you typed a short note is a very good sign. Wanted you to know just roll with the pain don't concentrate on it...and it does abate. Feel better very soon!

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Sue, 16:18:39 10/23/11 Sun [1]

Nighty-night! We (your angels) are watching over you!

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- oltlmania (happy), 04:17:44 10/24/11 Mon [1]

Ravenbeauty god bless you! I hope you heel fast! May this illness only become history for the rest of your life!

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Dolores, 05:25:39 10/24/11 Mon [1]

Hi Raven, Thank the Lord all went well with your surgery. I'm Praying that soon all of this will be a memory, and you'll be back at that typewriter. So many fans of yours,are Praying for you.

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Rosie Peat, 06:19:41 10/24/11 Mon [1]

Glad to hear that your surgery went well. Sending good thoughts and prayers your way for a full and swift recovery.

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Janice, 11:22:20 10/24/11 Mon [1]

Prayers for your full and quick recovery.

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[> [> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Nancy (optimistic), 22:20:03 10/24/11 Mon [1]

Saying prayers and sending lots of healing thoughts your way, Raven.

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Daffodil, 15:14:36 10/24/11 Mon [1]

Raven, I have been thinking of you often. I hope you will be feeling much better so soon, I'm sorry for your pain...mental and physical. I hope and pray everything for you from here is great news and smooth sailing. Be well!

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[> I am so thankful you posted Raven, I have been thinking of you and praying for you. -- Belinda, 19:19:10 10/24/11 Mon [1]

God bless you and I will keep praying that you heal fast and that the results come back good.
Love you.

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- BW, 22:44:18 10/24/11 Mon [1]

Good to hear from you! Will continue to pray for you!

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[> The prayers, love, and positive thoughts will keep right on pouring over to you, my dear! -- Vicki, 23:09:12 10/24/11 Mon [1]


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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Brinard Sweeting, 00:01:11 10/25/11 Tue [1]

I am so relieved to hear your alive and well!!! God is so great! Still praying for your speedy recovery! much love :D

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Ravenbeauty, 00:30:24 10/25/11 Tue [1]

Hey Guys,

I still haven't fully read my wall yet. Every time I try, it starts to bother me sitting up with my neck extended. Hopefully, I will be able to get caught up soon. What I was able to read had me incredibly emotional. You guys have been nothing short of lovely in every possible way. Thank you for giving me the strength I was lacking in walking through this. I was prepared for pain, but I honestly had no idea just how intense it would be. They never warned me that you would not be able to do things like reach your own head to clip your hair back or even bathe yourself because of mobility issues (friend is helping me so that I can feel clean throughout this, and of course being careful not to soak the incision). I forgot who it was that mentioned feeling like you might rip apart. They stitched me so tight that I can't move in any direction well at all (had no idea about this). Neck and ribs on fire. Everything is pulled so taught that you can see my neck is pulled down into the stitches. They say this will stretch in time (I hope so because it's a bit scary). A lot they don't tell you, which you end up learning on your own. Home and out of the hospital at least. Still waiting on that pathology report. I will keep you posted. ♥♥♥

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[> [> Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry about the pain. That -- LAwoman, 03:37:38 10/25/11 Tue [1]

sounds brutal, but yet you still manage to write an update. I hope there is something more that can be done in the way of pain management. I hate to think of you in so much pain. Positive energy being sent your way with lots of love!

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[> prayers your way. take the pain pills to stay on top of the pain. you will NOT become addicted. -- llewmark, 00:53:30 10/25/11 Tue [1]


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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- catshadowsi8, 06:27:30 10/25/11 Tue [1]

One small step at a time Raven. Set a tiny goal and work toward it. The sense of accomplishment when you reach it will help you set a new one. Too often patients aim high and become disheartened when they do not reach the goal right away. I gave my mother this advise when the doctors told her she would never walk again and now she is on her feet using a walker.

Thanks for keeping us informed as I also do not use Facebook. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
catshadowsi8

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Fy'Ma (Relieved!), 04:00:57 10/26/11 Wed [1]

Raven, so incredibly happy you made it thru surgery. God is still in the healing business, so know you are healed. Also, thank you for updating us and letting us know that you are over the first part of this season. The pain will be under control soon, keep heart. Praying for your speedy recovery and trusting in your ultimate healing. God Bless you and get some rest. We are all thinking about you and praying with you.

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- Chloe (thankful), 04:35:03 10/26/11 Wed [1]

Raven, I'm so happy that you're home and recuperating. Don't worry about us over here. Just take it one day at a time. We'll keep praying for you.

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[> Pathology in............................ -- Ravenbeauty, 22:48:28 10/26/11 Wed [1]

Hey Guys,

I really needed a little time after talking to my doctor yesterday before updating. Many emotions (anger, frustration, exhaustion). They not only found Epitheloid Angiosarcoma in both breasts, but they also found Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma in the right breast (what I originally had very young in my twenties in my left breast...my original cancer). It was hiding right in the center of my right breast (so much for the Mammogram and Ultrasound I had done just prior). Not even the PET scan picked it up. Thankfully, it was small 1.2 cm, but I am refusing chemo. There is no way I can do chemo for many reasons (trust me they are solid reasons). Even crazier is that now they want to do a Sentinal node biopsy, but you need your breasts to do this correctly and they are now gone (we didn't expect to find regular infiltrating breast cancer or they would have done it before surgery). Because I already have Lymphadema in my left arm from the original cancer, I am not going to compromise my right arm too. These are tough decisions, but I need to what's best for me. Luckily, the secondary cancer they found (who walks around with two different forms of cancer in their breasts) was not pushing margins and was caught seemingly early. I am going to take that and run with it. It's all I have so I will take it.

Going today for follow up and more discussion with my doctor (they are having a meeting about my case this morning before I go in). She did grab a node that was easy to grab as it was right there when they were removing the right breast, so they took it and it was negative (they just don't know if it was a sentinal or not). I am going to take this as a good sign for now and leave well enough alone. I honestly and truthfully cannot handle much more right now (really can't). I'm so done with this whole thing. They sent the left breast (the one with all the visible Angiosarcoma) in for more testing, but it had permeated deeper into my breast and they just need better notes on the margins (so the jury is still not completely in on that one just yet, but we think we are OK there). Just trying to process all of this right now. Getting low grade fevers so we may need to up my antibiotics. I'm angry now and maybe that's to be expected. Disgusted is more like it. I will keep you posted. Thank you for taking the time to reach out and leave such incredibly beautiful notes on my wall. Although I have honestly not caught up yet, I will. <3

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[> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- Kelly, 23:57:29 10/26/11 Wed [1]

Keeping you in my prayers for a speedy recovery and that the surgery was successful. Grab the positive and hold on to that!

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[> [> I am still praying for you. -- Belinda, 01:16:44 10/27/11 Thu [1]

Its hard to know what to say Raven. I just want you to know I am here for you and praying. It sounds stupid but try and be positive. But I know I would be mad too.
Big hug.

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[> [> [> Re: I am still praying for you. -- Nancy (angry), 12:22:55 10/27/11 Thu [1]

I am praying for you Raven. I am angry for you and for all the other cancer patients out there. I feel terrible that anyone has to go through this kind of pain and anguish. Do what is best for YOU. Thanks for sharing your personal struggle with us. We're here if you need us for anything. Praying and sending healing thoughts and strength your way.

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[> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- rapido (Love to you), 02:58:49 10/27/11 Thu [1]

Ravenbeauty, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Take a little time to reflect, revisit treatment options when you are feeling better. I totally understand you are overwhelmed and you have every right to feel anger. Life is so unfair. Love to you.

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[> [> Raven, I -- LAwoman, 03:08:35 10/27/11 Thu [1]

am blown away by your strength. What you have been describing would turn me into a blubbering heap on the floor. And here you are typing updates. I know you will make the decisions that are right for you and won't let anyone pressure you into doing something you aren't willing to do. Whatever course of action you take, you have tons of support. As always, girl--I love you.

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[> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- Tamalemama, 03:34:11 10/27/11 Thu [1]

Raven, A few simple words.... WE LOVE YOU!

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[> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- AllyG, 03:47:39 10/27/11 Thu [1]

Raven I am so sorry to hear that you did not have better news from your pathology reports. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Do what you need to do for yourself and know that there are lots of people out there pulling for you.

Ally

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[> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- Monika, 06:01:49 10/27/11 Thu [1]

Raven, I'm so sorry about the curve balls you are being thrown. It stinks. Do you have more info yet on the type of histological subtype of the IDC? That may provide key information on staging and some reassurance.

Given your extremely rare form of cancer, are your doctors consulting with Sloan Kettering?

What about radiation?

I'm a cancer survivor myself, and am keeping you in my thoughts. I know how hard it is. When I was first diagnosed, I rejected chemo as a friend of mine had his bone marrow destroyed by chemo, and died after a bone marrow transplant. I was finally persuaded, and suffered every known complication to chemo known. By my last course of chemo, I barely made it through. So, I get it.

I actually knew someone with epithelioid sarcoma (on a finger), and so every time I sit down at our dining table, I think of you (she gave it to us).

Hugs, and good luck!!!! <3

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[> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- Meg, 06:29:06 10/27/11 Thu [1]

Thank you so much for keeping us in the loop. I praying that when the rest of the pathology comes in it will bring encouraging news.

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[> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- CM, 09:31:49 10/27/11 Thu [1]

Raven, what a test the universe is giving you right now. Thank you for reminding me that we are all connected. Please be as angry as you want!! All I can do is send good thoughts. You are quite inspiring to me. In the end, what will be will be. Your spirit and strength will guide you. I have faith in you.

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[> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- Sue, 11:06:02 10/27/11 Thu [1]

So God is giving you anger...use it!!! Use it against the intruder in your body! And use us to vent if need be!

The prayer chain has just begun....we surround you with our hopes and prayers...the world around. You are not alone any second of the day.

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[> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- JohnB, 11:32:12 10/27/11 Thu [1]

Raven, I'm so sorry that the news that you received wasn't as good as we've all prayed for. I pray that the doctor's have used their talents to the best of their abilities and that they have removed all of the cancer so that you can make a full and complete recovery. Everyone can understand how you are feeling angry and disgusted after all that you've been through. We hope you can take that anger and use that fighting spirit of yours to triumph over this. Sending prayers, good wishes and hugs out to you.

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[> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- Anonymous, 13:09:22 10/27/11 Thu [1]

Stay optimistic and steadfast. Take it one step at a time. Do what the doctors say but also use your common sense. I have a gut feeling that its going to turn out all right. Big hug.

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[> [> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- Guest, 23:29:07 10/27/11 Thu [1]

My Prayers are with you

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[> [> Sending you a cyber hug -- Spideymom, 01:31:11 10/29/11 Sat [1]


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[> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- Allison, 01:50:15 10/29/11 Sat [1]

Raven, hang in there! You are so brave. Most of us can't even begin to imagine what you are experiencing. Thank you for sharing your story. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hope you begin to feel better very soon.

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[> Casting Information....................... -- Ravenbeauty, 08:24:54 10/27/11 Thu [1]

Hey Guys,

On a completely different note (trying...really trying here), a quick drive by on a new character being cast for GH. TJ is 14 years old, African American, and has a serious axe to grind with Shawn Butler who killed his father years ago (both his father, and Shawn Butler were career marines together). TJ is charming on the surface, has a quick wit, but beneath the exterior lies a very troubled child. He's been kicked out of several schools. His mother sends him to live with Shawn since she cannot control him anymore (he hates Shawn for what happened to his father). He ends up stealing Sonny's speedboat leading Shawn to deal with problems from the moment he arrives in town. TJ will be involved with Molly (look for more potential Sorasing). Not feeling it today, but wanted to get this to you as soon as I had a moment. I'll keep you posted on all fronts. <3

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[> Re: Update on my surgery. -- trili69, 04:40:33 10/29/11 Sat [1]

We are hear still praying for your quick recovery!

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