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Date Posted: 12:30:30 11/18/12 Sun
Author: GoodWillTalking
Subject: New Facebook Posting (Friday 11/16)

From Raven's latest FB posting of 11/16/12:
I know when you guys don't hear from me, you have probably figured out by now that something has happened. I have always promised to keep you in the loop, and this will never change. This pain that I have been feeling since October 14, 2012 has only grown worse making sleep next to impossible. They have ordered a Lumbar MRI for Monday to get a better look. I just got off the phone with the new center we went to on Monday, and the cytology is back on that large tumor growing under my right arm. It's not the news we were hoping for on this growth. I was wrong about this lump. I honestly believed that it was my primary cancer growing back under there because that's what they found along with the Angiosarcoma when I had my wide excision double Mastectomy last October. It is in fact Angiosarcoma, so it has spread to the other side.

They now suspect that those other nodes are filled with Angiosarcoma as well so we are not going to do more biopsies. I'm being refused surgery for a fourth time now by a fourth hospital (to their credit, they do seem to understand Angiosarcoma quite well). They have made it very clear that my only hope at this point is a very powerful chemo regimen started immediately, long shot that it is (almost impossible to eradicate Angiosarcoma). I know that you already know how I feel about Chemo. I am sick to my stomach right now. Nothing I was doing was powerful enough to knock this out. If it was anything but Angiosarcoma, I honestly believe in my heart that I would have had this thing beat with the things I was doing. I feel this in my heart and soul strongly. We are guessing that this severe and sudden pain is probably due to Angiosarcoma as well. It's a monster.

Next up, is having a port installed in the hospital closer to me, and starting right away. Is this the biggest mistake of my life knowing what I know about Angiosarcoma and Chemo, probably, but I am out of options......game over. I guess it's this or face this thing eating me from the inside out. Trust me my dearest Jeremy, I know what you are going to think as you read this, but I am out of time. Believe me, it sickens me more than you know. I know how sick this will make me, but I guess when you are this scared and this close to that door, you will do things you can't see until you are there personally. I'm angrier than you know right now, but all that comes out are tears and disbelief. I will keep you posted on when we are to start. It's the long shot of my life, but it's all I have left. Thank you from my soul for continuing to send me so much positive energy. I am generating less and less on my own. I love you and I always will. Never forget how much you have all come to mean to me. ♥

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Replies:

[> Re: New Facebook Posting (Friday 11/16) -- Hannah ((((healing hugs)))), 13:15:32 11/18/12 Sun [1]

(((Dearest Ravenbeauty)))

I'm hoping that this chemo regimen will bring the miracle everyone is praying for. Miracles do happen every single day, and I firmly hold onto the belief that a miracle will come your way. :)

(((healing hugs & lots of love)))
Hannah


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[> Re: New Facebook Posting (Friday 11/16) -- Marie, 14:46:56 11/18/12 Sun [1]

Raven,

You have been so brave fighting this battle with cancer. A true hero in our eyes.
Now with your options narrowing you made the right choice. Because either way you will win. The chemo will eradicate your cancer or your soul will journey from one home to another. Compare the passing of the physical body to the shedding of a worn-out casing or cocoon, releasing the ‘butterfly’ of the soul into life in another dimension.

You will be pain free and be joined once again with your mother. And I swear to you, because my father sent me a message from the dead and my mother told me she saw her parents standing in the room minutes before she died, that you will be with loved ones on the next plane of existence.
When I think of you in my mind I see such feeling of relief, Euphoria, freedom of movement, you surrounded by a bright white glow, a huge smile on your face. You will be in your glory my friend. A heavy weight lifted from your shoulders. Don't be afraid. It is a new beginning.

May God bless and sooth you and John during this challenging time. A hug to you both.

Love, a friend.


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[> Re: New Facebook Posting (Friday 11/16) -- John (:(), 15:29:07 11/18/12 Sun [1]

Hi Ravenbeauty,

I can't even imagine what the heck your going through now. How you can type these messages up with how sick you are is amazing. I wish somehow you can get a miracle here. You've tried everything, but this cancer seems to be so aggressive. I can't even comprehend the constant pain your having and now this new chemo you have to take. The very reason, a cure for cancer has to happen. For you and many others that suffer horribly. The holidays are coming up, but for you, just living each minute and praying so hard for something to change.

I'll pray for you, and hope someway you can manage that pain. I just hope something works, anything. By the way, your scoops and inside info on GH was spot on. I hope the show survives come next April. The ratings are way up. The vets are coming home and making a difference. For now, we will enjoy the moment. Not sure if you caught any GH, but to me, the show is better. I know folks still have issues watching the show, but its so much better...

Okay, you take care. Everyone who writes you, all of us are praying for you. Just some way, can you get that miracle. I hope so.


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[> Re: New Facebook Posting (Friday 11/16) -- rapido, 05:39:51 11/19/12 Mon [1]

Raven, sending good thoughts your way. The chemotherapy offers hope, you are wise to start it. Don't second guess the decision, right now no other choice. Please ask about radiation for the bone pain, targeted radiation often eases the pain. Praying for you.


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[> Re: New Facebook Posting (Friday 11/16) -- Katie, 11:44:05 11/21/12 Wed [1]

Raven,
I'm just another long-time fan who checks in here regularly because you are on my mind and I am pulling for you. Just wanted to say that I am sending good thoughts your way and hoping like crazy that the chemo surprises you and works wonders.
Thinking of you...
Katie


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