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Date Posted: 13:48:33 03/14/13 Thu
Author: GoodWillTalking
Subject: 3/13/13 Post

Guys, I won't be around much again after tomorrow, so please don't be alarmed if you don't see me for a bit. These treatments are getting more and more unpredictable as we go along. I always feel the most strength right before my next treatment, and then things get dark and dicey as the days go on. It accumulates in the tissues as each day passes, and then it has a peaking point that is gut wrenching. While it peaks, it's all I can do to just lay in bed and figure out what to take to ease what is happening (always spacing things apart and trying to be careful). I am going to ask about having Dexamethasone put in my care shot beforehand, because they were going to do that initially, but I only get Benadryl and Phenergan. I think this might be the reason I walk into my chemo sessions without any issues, but need to be wheeled out, and am almost delirious when we are done. It's a little creepy, and I'm thinking maybe it's because I don't have anything to boost what they have just taken away, and then I need help to even get out of the car when we get home each time. I go in one way and come out completely different when they are done with me (may be the absence of a steroid right before chemo). I have some bottled Dexamethasone, but will ask tomorrow before doing it on my own before treatment. I usually only take what I have at home for extreme pain.

A dear friend just asked me about the next PET Scan, and the irony is that I have been worried sick over it for days. This is about the time he is going to want me to do one and this one will be different than any done prior. This one will show if it divided the cells too rapidly and spread, or if this nightmare has done me any good. I will be sick to my stomach if I find that all this chemo has been for nothing. I am praying so hard that it has beaten most of it back. When you are someone like me, you don't want to know because you are innocent now. You can still hold onto hope, but once you know the results, you can't go back because you know now (no more innocence). I'll keep you posted as always here and there. Thank you from my very soul for all of these beautiful notes and pictures. They are just incredible. So many of you have stood by me throughout the years as I took beating after beating for my column (shooting the messenger), but to see you standing by me through something like this.......there really are no words truly adequate. I really do love you and wish for every one of you a happy, peaceful, and genuinely beautiful life now and always. God Speed........♥

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[> Re: 3/13/13 Post -- guest, 01:11:34 03/17/13 Sun [1]

all the best...praying for u


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