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| Subject: giving | |
Author: sweetsong | [ Next Thread |
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] Date Posted: 14/12/06 10:13 i know we are supposed to give without expecting in return but as a giving person i always feel i give more of my time/resources/attention than people do me. as pagans who no doubt are loving caring people do you find this sometimes happens to you too and how to you cope with the lack of balance sometimes? [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
[> Subject:  Re: giving -IMHO
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Author: Blackhawk [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 14/12/06 13:38 "i know we are supposed to give without expecting in return" There is no "supposed to", but if you choose to adopt the notion of giving selflessly, then the 'return', or lack of, should be irrelevant. Focus on what you are giving - if that is truly what you consider to be the way you should live your life - and the sense of well-being which comes with true selflessness will be reward enough. Personally, I give - as and when I choose - selflessly, which means that I am not expecting a return, nor even appreciation. I give because I choose to, and because I feel it is right in that situation. It is a personal matter, and so the response I receive has no bearing on my desire to give or to help. We have no idea where our good deeds lead [see "Pay It Forward"], so we can never truly say that the benefits of our deeds are out of balance with our intentions. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sweetsong [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 14/12/06 15:05 i am sorry i am hindu so i firmly believe in karma in the hindu sense (not buddhist) and thus for me there is a SHOULD in this regard. so i am trying to learn how to give without feeling resentment. i believe I do know where my good deeds lead as in previous lives etc. thank you for replying and for sharing without getting cross with me. it is so interseting how varied we all are. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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[> Subject: Re: giving
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Author: whitewolf [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 14/12/06 15:31 I agree wholeheartedly with what Blackhawk was saying. I don't think that we can know for sure where our good deeds lead - you may do something good for someone, which in turn means they are feeling more inclined to do something for someone else, the next person is feeling happier so does something which in turn may lead to something good happening for another person.... and so on and so on.... for me it's all ripples. I personally don't much like the word 'should' - it implies you are doing something because you have been told to, not because you want to... (but then words can get so confusing anyway!! lol). I know you say you are Hindu, but I thought in previous threads you have mentioned that you are Hindu 'by default' (as in your family are Hindu and so therefore you are) - I got the impression that you weren't feeling that it was YOUR path... and yet you cling on to what you believe others expect you to be doing. Never live your life as someone tells you to... (unless you are happy to do so) this is YOUR life honey, and you will feel no comfort or peace until you are living it the way YOU want. (no offense meant) [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: zenwind [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 14/12/06 18:44 "i always feel i give more of my time/resources/attention than people do me." You sound like you are hurting over this, as you use the word 'cope' suggesting you feel a little challenged at others reactions. Well my suggestion is don't try so hard, just be, don't identify with 'needing to give,' dip away for a bit from your guideline while still trying to not cause harm to anyone...... because it will all fall into its natural order.....be true in your responses...... more true to yourself. More loving of yourself. As for other people......ahhhh, other people! Well we are the same but also we are all complex beings, think of all the influences in our lives....place of birth, country of birth, life, friends, family, feelings sad, feeling happy, confident one day, unsure the next, differing needs, changing desires....all the prevailing winds of heart mind...... Just as you are complex, so am I, as we all are... and in that wonderful complexity we meet each other, how wonderful is that! Ahhhh. But! But!! Would it be easy for me to do what you expect in reaction to the chemistry that occurs when you share parts of yourself with me? No! I don't even know what you expect and my experiences may not have even have taught me how to be the way you want! eeeeeeeekkkkkkk. Help! tee heee. What I am saying in my view is that to add expectation of each other is really adding a layer of complexity to our lives that will just create nigglesomeness :) So let go, be your natural self moment to moment....and you will be just as giving but also I do so hope your peace will improve. Namaste zenwind [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sweetsong [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 15/12/06 8:55 blackhwalk and white wolf. thanks for the repsonses. i aspire to be like the special cow, taking nothing but that which is necessary for my sustenance. giving is an essential practice in hiduism leads to wonderful karma for all and i follow the Bhagavad Gita as my ideal. my main problems are wtiht some of the traditions that were appropriate for that period of history when things developed but not today such as arranged marriage and the caste systme. by my belief in the cosmoology and way the universe works is as in hinduism and giving for me creates wonderful karma but only when it is done without want for return. Zennny this is very helpful practial comments which i shall try to apply and will help. and yes i do get sad over this. oh Zenny my family have harboured a few issues with the buddha as he turned his back on hinduism and scorned it. you would be a good example to them that perhaps he was OK after all (which i know he was myself). thankyou for your replies. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |