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| Subject: i love the garden, BUT! | |
Author: newy | [ Next Thread |
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] Date Posted: 11/01/07 10:33 since speaking to a lot of you here in the garden, i have found myself thinking about everything!!!!. like I have said before, I thank you all for your kind words. the thing is, I have been looking into my star signe and compatability charts, and everything keeps cumin up different?... for a start, I'm Libra, an air sign, my chinese element is fire, here again everything is different? am i just confusing myself, or are my beliefs (what I have left of them) crumbling around me. I keep looking for a path to follow but they all seem to be dead ends. Am I cracking up or am I just lost. Just got my reading of Sara Freder and that just made me laugh. Anybody any ideas, I just aint got a clue anymore. Newy [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
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Author: sweetsong [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11/01/07 12:12 this is what happened to me when i came here and read dragonswood and then i get so upset being around people like Zennywind, whiteywolf, paganwolf and lily all of you that are sooooo sorted out with this stuff. But then as zenwind said to me comparisons are not the way to go!!!!!!!!!!!!! [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: newy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11/01/07 12:39 thanks sweetsong. i understand what your saying, and i dont want to be the follower, just want a path to follow so i can find myself. MY GOD i have just been reading up on Voodoo, WHAT CAN I SAY........ [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Paganwolf [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11/01/07 14:55 I think that your path will find you given time and an open mind. I started as a hedgewitch but have adopted a little bit of this, bit of that etc so although I am still a witch, It would be difficult to pigeonhole what type I am! I'd be the sort that would give Kate West and Rae Beth migraines!!!!!!! Blessings love and light, Wolf [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: newy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11/01/07 15:20 I think my mind is very scewed up at the mo, but I take what you say. I always followed the chinese way of life, the I'Chi, yin and yang, the five elements etc:. but there is a pagan inside me that really needs to find there own spirit. With Imbolc approaching, I expected to be lighting my candles with along with my partner. My ex has a lot of pagan friends and now Im on my own, I just feel lost. OK I'm a bit sad, and time will heal, I just feel that the path infront of me has a lot of Mountains infront of it. Newy [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Lilly from the Valley [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11/01/07 15:33 Sweetsong, I am flattered that you think I am 'sorted out with this stuff' - truly. I am not sorted out in the sense that you may think I am. I only came across the Garden by chance (or was it?) last year and like you Newy, I was unsure where to go and how I fitted in. What I like about this Garden and the huge umbrella of Paganism is that there are no firm rules - each of us is different in our way, beliefs, paths but we are all non judgmental and have love and respect for all living things. There is compassion,understanding, genuine empathy and love from the people in this Garden and thats what I love so much about it. I dont feel I fit into any category and quite frankly, I dont want to be labelled. I am free to come and go as I choose and am not ruled by laws. I choose to follow the Pagan path because this is what it means to me but someone elses understanding may be different. The wonderful thing is that it doesnt matter. I am me and you are you. I guess you could say that I am sorted but I am sorted with ME! I happy with my life and where I am. I respect all beliefs and try to find good in everything and everyone - dont get me wrong, Im certainly no Saint - Ive made some huge mistakes in my time and had some bad knocks along the way but I think I had to experience those to be so at peace with myself now. Gosh, Im waffling on now so I'll leave it at that. What Im basically trying to say (not very well though) is that you dont need to feel you tick all the boxes. Just be you and the rest will follow. Dont try too hard to 'fit in'. I did at first and it did my head in. Meditation is very good for calming the mind and no, there is no exact, precise way that this must be done - whatever works for you. Take care - may love and light fill you life and calm your mind. Lil [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: newy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11/01/07 15:45 THANKS LIL. its seems the only good thing thats coming out my mouth at present is saying thank you to everyone. You are right of course.. So is everyone else. Suppose I'm just looking for a pagan friend to share things with, like I said before, the only pagan friends I had round here were my ex's, now I'm on my own. Thank god I have my children to keep me sane [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Lilly from the Valley [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11/01/07 15:46 Dont worry Newy - I am on my own too! We are all friends in the Garden. Lil [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: newy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11/01/07 15:51 Its just a pitty we dont know more about each other, half the time I dont know if I'm talking to a male or a female if you get wot I mean, plus, ages. There again, maybe its better if we dont? I AM A MAN. I think? [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Lilly from the Valley [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11/01/07 16:01 Does it really matter Newy? I dont mind telling you that I am female but Im afraid Im not going to divulge my age! Put it this way, my partying days of coming home, taking the milk off the milkman as I walk up the drive, having a quick shower and then going straight to work are long gone! Well, maybe not that long gone but gone all the same. Not that Im complaining! Over the months Ive worked out who is male and female in the Garden but as for ages (and gender for that matter) I really dont care. You could all be aliens from the planet Zon with one eye and terrible halitosis but I couldnt care less! (probably best we meet on line rather than face to face though!). Chill hun - theres no competition in here ....... other than the poetry competition that is but Im so useless at poetry, I wouldnt embarass myself by sending anything in. You'll settle in with time - the Garden really is a wonderful place. Lil [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: newy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11/01/07 16:13 WOW LIl, you discibed me to a T. lol. Guess your right again. Always thought of myself as never been wrong, untill I came on here!!!!!!! trust me though, I aint looking to meet anyone in person. I still have a very deep love for my ex. At this point, I would just like to say, its been great meeting all you Garden folk. Love, Lite and Rainbows to you all.. P.S. I realised you were a female Lil [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Lilly from the Valley [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11/01/07 16:56 Sorry Newy, I didnt mean to suggest that you were trying to 'meet anyone'. Apologies if thats how I came across. "You described me to a T" Are you from the planet Zon then? LOL Lil [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: newy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11/01/07 17:02 Not sure at present Lil, feels like it though. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Wolfsdream [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11/01/07 17:55 Hi Newy. Apart from saying that I totally agree with what Lilly has said, may I suggest you give yourself some space and time and sit down, maybe with pen and paper and just note down what it is that is important to you and what you feel inside you is 'right'. Doing something like this may clarify things for you, it did for me awhile ago anyway. From what you say I think you may be much like many of us here in that certain things from various paths resonate with you. If so I think you'll find it all comes together in time. Of course it may take some years....er...maybe you didn't really want to know that though, Ooops, sorry. Lol. Wolfsdream. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: newy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11/01/07 18:05 I have wrote a lot of things down, but at present they just remind me of the situation I am in. I think at the moment, people are only listerning to my ex's word on things, and I feel very rejected by this. Shes making me out to be a monster and I'm not. My neighbour keeps telling me that from what they heard, it was'nt one way, and that ever since we were together she has never had a nice thing to say about me. Must be mad....... [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: whitewolf [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11/01/07 18:16 I ditto what Wolfie and Lil have already said! :) Newy - rather than focusing on 'wanting to follow a pagan path and meet pagan friends' I really do recommend, as Wolfie suggested, sitting down on your own and working out what YOU believe/feel. (Have you visited the Articles section at GG? you may find the following article useful : 'A Pagan Path')... at the end of the day, only YOU have the answers that are right for you :) You mentioned star signs and the likes - don't be confused in to believing that astrology etc is what being a Pagan is about. IMO these are 'decorations' if you like - anyone can have an interest in astrology without being Pagan, just as not all Pagans have an interest in astrology... for me, it is the respect, reverence and understanding of Nature which lies at the heart of Paganism / Earth Tradition paths... from this starting point you will meet such a wide variety of beliefs all under the Paganism umbrella. That's part of the beauty of it all lol - we're all individuals and we can only walk OUR paths :) AND... don't be in a hurry - you have your whole life to walk your path, and it will present many changes/decisions/experiences along the way... we are all constantly learning, and certainly nobody knows everything!! Explore, discover, experience... enjoy :) [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: newy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11/01/07 18:41 I dont think I have expessed myself properly. maybe I cant. I do understand what everyone is talking about. My beliefs ARE in earths traditions and always have been. my main thing is to dicover myself and why I suddenly feel betrayed by someone who was so close to me. Think I better leave the Garden for a while.. Love, Lite and Rainbows to all of you.. NEWY. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: paganwolf [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11/01/07 19:24 Well i think you are making your point quite well. I also think you are still hurting. If you choose to leave the garden that is up to you. We'll still be here if you need us. Blessings [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: zenwind [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11/01/07 22:01 "Think I better leave the Garden for a while.." Well come back see us soon! Has been good to chat Newy and I have enjoyed sharing space here with you. Just carry on exploring....be gentle with yourself. Imagine if all of a sudden you had to learn to walk a stone path all over again and you had a physiotherapist there to help. They would deal with you with care and gently persistence, helping you, seeing what you felt brought about positive results, which tools were less helpful, but they would (hopefully) not rush you through the harder times. Life itself and ultimately any path is like that. So treat yourself the same way....step by step, holding yourself with care....there is no rush.....seeing what unfolds, witnessing what unfolds. Thanks for sharing with and listening to me. Also not being officially pagan [wink] I sometimes question the relevance to my friends here of what I say! :) But hey you can always skip my posts - yay And I think this medium is great partly because it encourages disclosure, and a lot of this is encouraged by the anonymity (safeness) but equally it also can little odd at first not knowing ages, genders, faces etc when we are talking to each other..... peace zenwind [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sweetsong [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 12/01/07 11:25 i thought that astrology and runes and divination connecting with the goddess meant you were a pagan if you used these thing to help you live your life as a path. what things make you a pagan then? i want something to help me guide my life. when people say things like find your own inner light that doesn't help me. i need something to help me find it. a structure i guess. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Wolfsdream [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 12/01/07 18:30 I would say Sweetsong that only the individual can call themself a pagan. For instance I do not pay any respects to any God/Goddess....in the past that was not the case but it is for me now. To many pagans that is almost heresy! But I KNOW from personal experiance of the link I..and every human has with the Earth and indeed everything in the universe. I call myself pagan...for me that is enough. I also don't use Runes (I used to) or divination or astrology. As for finding that 'something' in your life...may I suggest this....Do you believe in a God or Goddess?....or any form of supreme deity? If you do then ask yourself why, and if you can answer that to your satisfaction then why not start to find out more about that God/Goddess. As you explore that you may come upon things that make you suddenly think..'hey I know what that feels like! or I've felt like that!' or 'That makes sense to me!'....if you do then I would say you may have taken the first steps upon your own path. If you don't believe in any deity then again ask yourself why. It is not going to be a quick or straight forward journey...it rarely is. The path we walk is a very personal one, different for each of us, even though we have things in common. Now, having read that I really hope I am not coming over as condecending, that is not my intention but I have no idea what you believe in or how much you know. And of course....these are only my idea's and thoughts. Wolfsdream. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: heather [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 14/01/07 15:00 I prescribe nil by brain for a while....no trying to figure things out, they will all fall into place newy. Finding your path is like learning to walk, one step at a time. Its easy for me to say i know....I'm the one on Prozac :( Big hugs and bright blessings, love heather. P.S. you don't have to justify anything to anyone, just love yourself. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: sweetsong [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 15/01/07 14:18 thank you wolfsdream. i will analyse what i think. i think i am going through a difficult time at the moment. i feel empty promises everywhere and superficial relationships. i think the net can make you feel more lonely in a way. i think i am online too much and fed up of everyone seeing each other in a one dimensional way and seeing me that way. i cannot express myself in english well. everything online seems a competition. maybe i spend too long looking for spirituality online and not enought time living my life. sorry for being negative. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |