Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your
contribution is not tax-deductible.)
PayPal Acct: 
Feedback: 
Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):
| [ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, [3], 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ] |
| Subject: Houston we have a problem (need advise) | |
Author: Pilgrim | [ Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
] Date Posted: 29/10/07 15:14 Wow! This past week has been a bit strange for me. A good friend of mine (been friends for 39 years.)She is a Pentacostal Christian. She sent me an e-mail. She was all upset because she had found a website that listed me as a Tarot reader in the Cleveland area. She thought I should know what "Someone was saying about you!" We talked and I explained that yes this is true. After some time she actually understood and asked me to do a reading for her. This totally shocked me as 15 minutes earlier she thought Tarot was of the devil and all tarot readers are going to hell and people who had readings done were playing right into Satans hands. She was so impressed whith what I had to say that she has now purchased her own cards.LOL Well, last night my friend flat out asked me if I am a witch! I was so shocked by the question that I just sat silent for the longest time. Finally I said "Weeelll... I wouldn't call myself a witch. " I feel terrible about it now. If I had been prepared for the question I would have asked what the word witch meant to her. Then I could have addressed the misinformation she may have and tell her what I believe and let her decide for herself if I am a witch. I never thought I would be so nervouse about this. Why in the world do I feel such a strong need to not upset my family and friends with what I believe?! They don't seem at all afraid of upsetting people with their beliefs, ie: telling people they'll go to hell if they do this or that or don't do such and such. ARRRGGHH! Why did I deny what I am!? I know I have to clear this up with her but thought some advise or energy from you folks would be helpful. At least the ice has been broken a little and I should be able to tell her soon. Sorry for rambling on like that. Pilgrim [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
[> Subject:  Re: Houston we have a problem (need advise)
|
|
|
Author: whitewolf [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 29/10/07 16:23 Don't beat yourself up Pilgrim, you haven't denied what / who you are, the word is just a label :) Besides... your friend has not reacted negatively to the fact that you read tarot... heck, they went out and bought their own tarot deck lol! It wouldn't surprise me if you and your friend were to sit down and chat further about this, and you may be pleasantly surprised - perhaps it wasn't the 'right' time, to say 'yes I'm a witch'... I expect your friend picked up on the long silence anyway ;) You'll get the opportunity to express what you want to, when the time's right. I'm going to go off in a slightly different direction now... but .... perhaps deep down you don't feel comfortable with the label yourself? I havent got this from any of your previous posts btw - just throwing this in here as something else to ponder.... it is, after all, just a label... as long as YOU know yourself then the label is irrelevant. And at the end of the day, however much you want other people to understand your definition of the label, they will always have their own definition... not always on the same page as you! (probably some not even in the same book lol!!). I also suspect that you do not want to hurt those around you - I expect that some would be fearful for you (and possibly feraful of you as well?). Don't fret or worry... just remember, when you feel 'the time is right' you'll always have the Garden (and Wood) folk standing there with you. x Hugs and Blessings x [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: Houston we have a problem (need advise) | |
|
Author: Pilgrim [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 29/10/07 16:33 Thanks Whitewolf, that really is helpful. Blessing. Pilgrim [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: Houston we have a problem (need advise) | |
|
Author: Rowan [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 31/10/07 11:12 Hi Pilgrim :) Just popped in after a long absence! LOL Well this may not exactly answer your question with any advice as such but just to say I know the feeling of not being able to say what you are .... especially to family in my case ... and the problem tends to arise with those belonging to the less tolerant religions ie Christianity / Islam etc. Because they believe that their faith is the only true one and the only way to be "saved" for want of a word. My parents are baptists and I was brought up Christian. It's not that being pagan I dismiss some of the christian teachings. To love one another and so on ... that makes perfect sense to me anyway. But its the theology that the church has built around those teachings i have the probelm with! LOL Anyway, I digress .... I know that if my parents knew I was a Druid they would be terribly upset and probably think I was on my way to hell or something. So I have to keep it secret and that's a shame because it means there is a part of me they never see. Never really connect with the true essence of Rowan. I am also careful what i say to my sister who is also Christian, as I think it would bother her too and she might say something to my parents. But I think this has happened to you for a reason Pilgrim ... as everything does! LOL Because it has made you stop and think. Perhaps wonder for the first time in a while ... "Mmmm, what exactly do I feel that I am?" Do you see yourself as a witch? Or if solitary, a hedge witch? Maybe the witch connotation makes you uncomfortable because of the negativity from others around that title. Which is why you wished you had asked what it meant to your friend. I don't think i remember reading in your posts just what you do call yourself ... pagan yes ... wiccan? druid? mystic? healer? But again labels sometimes don't always quite fit us if we are not actually a strong follower of one particular trad. Perhaps this has turned up in order that you spend some time with yourself .. perhaps exploring your beliefs a little. Maybe in some subconscious way, there has been some small feeling of not being sure just where you fit (as i did for several years) and this will help you discover it. I think when we spend much of our time denying what we are, we can sometimes lose track of what we actually are (if that makes sense, LOL) We can end up a little confused sometimes because we rarely get the chance to talk about our beliefs - at least not to anyone outside our belief circle. For myself, I would never deny what I am to friends or to strangers who asked. What they think about it is up to them. But I guess family are different in that I wouldn't deliberately want to cause hurt (even if, like you say, it doesn't seem right that they can air their beliefs, when i cannot). So then, I stay quiet on the subject. I would not lie to them and pretend I was a practicing christian to make them happy, but i diffuse it by saying something like, yes many of the teachings are good ones but I am also open- minded in my spirituality and see truths in other faiths too. And just leave it at that. A sort of half-way house / damage limitation! LOL. Ok it might not suit them pefectly but at the same time they won't panic that i'm totally lost, hee hee. I do that only because of my love for them and feel sad rather than angry that they have such a blinkered and narrow view of life. Anyway Pigrim, wish you all the best with this. Sending you blessings to see the way through it and hoping you come to a place where you are happy and comfortable, with yourself and with your friend. Rowan x :) [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: Houston we have a problem (need advise) | |
|
Author: Pilgrim [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 2/11/07 16:38 Thanks Rowan. You've pretty much said everything that I'm facing. Like you said, I don't want them to be worried about me but it also seems dishonorable to fear sharing with others (who are exactly where I was.) what I've learned when I've been asked about it. Anyway It's nice to talk to people who are understanding. The garden is always a nice place to chat about such things. Blessings. Pilgrim [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: Houston we have a problem (need advise) | |
|
Author: Pilgrim [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 4/11/07 13:46 Well I told her today that indeed I am a witch. She was polite about it. So I am feeling better now. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: Houston we have a problem (need advise) | |
|
Author: raewytch [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 4/11/07 21:20 sorry to play devils advocate here (rather unfortunate expression considering the conversation lol) but being so careful not to hurt other people by being honest and expressing your beliefs and spiritual path to others - have any of you thought you are actually hurting them by not allowing them to see you for your true selves. perhaps they themselves need to grow and part of the reason you have incarnated together again is to allow them to come to terms with who you really are. we dont hurt people intentionally but that doesnt mean hiding the truth - surely that can be just as hurtful too - by not giving them the chance to adapt or even learn directly from a family member what pagans really are rather than the myths or scary stories theyve come to believe. could it be that it would also put you in an uncomfortable position as you would need to explain yourself more and even change the status quo and sometimes its easier to do that than face change? my parents are evangelical christians - falling on the floor, speaking in tongues, hand in the air singing types!! and at first my mother thought i worshipped the devil when i told her over 20 years ago. Now we discuss spiritual themes and she has even defended me to her christian pals by explaining what wicca is to them. she doesnt agree with my spirituality but understands because i gave her the chance to talk with me and understand. I agree that some will not take the hand proffered and may weep and wail but that is really not your responsibility and not anything to do with keeping them from hurt. Remember also that the harm none thing is more to do with intention behind the act - and also have you thought that you might even be harming yourself by this too? Hope none of you take offence at my musings - its just I too have been in your position but felt it important to walk my talk and to give others the opportunity to learn if they wanted to, or not if they didnt wish it. whatever your choices - blessings on you and your families. raewytch xx [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: Houston we have a problem (need advise) | |
|
Author: Pilgrim [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 4/11/07 23:30 No offence taken at all. :-) In fact after alot of soul searching I had come basically to the same conclusion. My daughter and I discussed it extensively and we decided that my friend asked because it was time for her to know and that it was possible she was seeking info for her own growth. So pretty much the same idea. Thanks for your reply because I feel it confirms my decision to tell her. Blessings. Pilgrim [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: Houston we have a problem (need advise) | |
|
Author: Earth-Fire [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 7/11/07 9:36 Well I think you should have a coming out of the "broom closest" party and invite all your friends lol That should raise a few eyebrows hehe But on a more serous note, i remember well what it was like. Fortunately i have open minded friends even my christian friends were interested and understanding. My Jewish friend was a doll my Hindi friend said it was very similar to her belief. And surprisingly I found out my dad was pagan in the day lol well that was until my nan burnt all his books lol. He even had a great story about dancing round fire on a beach hehe. Your a great person with a good heart, your real friends will know this and it won't matter to them. This is the time to tell who is a true friend and who you don't need in your life. So good luck it will all be fine :) [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: Houston we have a problem (need advise) | |
|
Author: sam spaniel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 7/11/07 22:15 my phrase of the moment...... never worry about who you are.....the people that mind don't matter, and the people that matter don't mind...! blessed be honey x sam x [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: Houston we have a problem (need advise) | |
|
Author: Pilgrim [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 9/11/07 16:33 I like that saying Sam. I'll put that one to memory. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |