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Subject: Re: summer stress


Author:
bittersweet
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Date Posted: 18:51:29 07/12/06 Wed
In reply to: Deb 's message, "Re: summer stress/SHOUT OUT!" on 09:06:31 07/12/06 Wed

hey everyone...

i havent posted in so long cause i'm really not sure what to say anymore. i hate reporting bad news, and i feel like a failure. and why? simply because i feel fat. that's all. as simple and stupid as that. my weight has climbed up to 113, the highest it's been in over 4 years. it all started when my b/f and i went through some troubles a few months ago. i started binging,purging, starving....a lot. i'm now cutting almost everyday and have huge scars all over the place. it's disgusting. i'm disgusting. i just want it to GO AWAY!!! if i just lose 10 lbs i'll feel like a valuable human being. pathetic. i'm sorry it's just lately i dont see the point to anything anymore. i want to run and hide in a cave until the weight goes away. i want to close my eyes until i no longer see mini-skirts or tank tops.

i want to check in more w/ all you guys, i miss you all. but knowing me i'll just keep hiding until i feel worthy again. the sad part? i know this chain of thought is completely irrational and screwed up- nevertheless, it's running rampant.

stay well <3
jane

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Re: summer stressDeb07:39:59 07/13/06 Thu


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