| Subject: Re: Little Details C4 |
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fananicfan
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Date Posted: 08:46:37 07/11/07 Wed
In reply to:
fananicfan
's message, "Little Details" on 11:25:09 07/08/07 Sun
CHAPTER 4 – Boys Like Cars
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Mac woke when her body missed contact with his. She opened her eyes to see if he was still in bed. He was...on his side, facing away from her and almost on the edge of the bed like he was trying to avoid touching her. It bothered her that she couldn't remember trying to get close to him, or had she tried and she didn't remember him rolling away? Since they'd been a couple, and when they'd been able to sleep together in the same bed, they'd fallen asleep in each other's arms and they'd awakened in contact with each other in some way, but not this morning.
He'd looked tired when he'd walked in the door yesterday, but she'd quickly dismissed that as jet lag. It took his out-of-character admissions of feeling anxious and having a lot on his mind for her to understand that it wasn't just a few missed hours of sleep causing the worry the lines on his handsome face.
He'd also been irritable after his nap last evening, like a little boy who'd been awakened before getting the sleep that he'd needed. She was still staring at his back when he rolled over and saw that she watching him.
"Trying to decide if you should wake the sleeping bear for breakfast or not?" His voice was calm and teasing, and his arms came around her in a tender embrace. "I owe you a big breakfast for being cranky after my nap last night."
"I'm kind of glad you were cranky."
"Why?"
"It made me feel like we're really married."
"We are really married, so I don't think I understand."
"You weren't trying to make everything perfect. You remember Christmas. You focused on making things right between Mattie and me and us having a good Christmas. You didn't mention that the reason you couldn't take any leave was because you were putting the finishing touches on a plan to move the offices from London to Naples before the deadline. You didn't tell me until last week in an email, and then it was one line. 'My proposal has been accepted, so the move to Naples is on.' Prior to that, during a phone call in November, you said something about a rumor, which involved moving the operation to Naples, and that's all I'd heard about it. You could have told us that...told me that."
"You and Mattie had other things to think about and work out. There was nothing that you could do to help."
"I could've listened. If there was a particular area where you were having trouble, talking it out might have helped you see it from a different perspective. I could have been your sounding board. I could do that with this case or anything else that you have on your mind. Harm, you can...no...make that you should talk to me about those kinds of things."
"So I fail marital communication 101, too."
"You're not failing at anything. You just need to get used to having me in a new and improved way."
"Speaking of having you in a new way..." he said, his eyebrow arched and his eyes twinkling.
She put her hands up to block his attempt at a kiss. "If you promise to talk to me about things like this."
"I'll promise that I'll try."
She placed her palms on his cheeks and pulled him closer. Against his lips, she whispered, "You're buying me breakfast afterward, too." A chuckle escaped his lips before their lips connected in a kiss that was sweet and full of promise.
After making love, they took advantage of the large shower. Harm said that it was to save water. Mac said that it was to save time - she was starving. In the shower, Harm asked what time they needed to be in Blacksburg. Mac said that she didn't have an appointment, but the open house was from 1130 to 1430, so they'd have to get there within that window.
They opted to take Harm's 'Vette to Blacksburg. During their stop for breakfast, they talked about his flight quals coming up in February, and he apologized because, with the office moving to Naples in March, he wouldn't be able to come to San Diego for their six month anniversary as he'd hoped. It was a pleasant conversation, and Mac knew that he was trying to test the waters of communication. They held hands and were more relaxed when they left the restaurant for Blacksburg. After checking with Mac for the time - she was more reliable than any watch he'd ever owned - they decided that, time wise, it would be better to stop by the Johnson home and Grace Aviation to look for Tom and check on Harm's plane first. For Mac, Harm being behind the wheel of his pride and joy and them being on the road together, the world felt right.
At Mattie's childhood home, there was no answer to their knocks and the door was locked, so they moved on to Grace Aviation.
Harm was surprised to see that the sign still read Grace Aviation. Checking in at the office, they found a man named Bill who explained the reason. Tom had either sobered up long enough to make some sound business decisions or he'd had some kind of drunken epiphany, because he'd hired Bill to manage the place. Bill, the new manager, said that Tom had hired him and, apparently, an accounting firm, because he never saw any bills, and his and his helper's paychecks arrived by mail every Friday. He hadn't seen Tom in weeks, but that wasn't unusal. Bill asked if they wanted to leave Tom a message in case he drifted by, and offered them a pen and paper. Harm said, "Tell him to call his daughter. She's worried about him." Mac took the pen and paper and wrote down Mattie's name and their home phone number, along with the words 'calling collect is okay' underlined on the paper before handing it back to Bill. While Mac finished writing, Harm informed Bill that the Stearmen was his and that he was going to look her over before they left. Bill took the paper from Mac, set it down on the desk, picked up a business card and offered it to her. "If you two decide to take that plane of yours up, give me a call. Stu and me will have her ready when you get here."
In the hanger, Mac watched Harm give his plane a visual once over, then he rested a palm on the surface and began to run his hand over Sarah's skin. His hand came to a stop, and he spoke without turning to look at Mac.
"I spend a lot of money keeping her. I thought about it yesterday when I picked up my car. This plane, the car, even the apartment are things that I don't need anymore. I think it's time to sell them."
His words took the wind right out of her. He was talking about giving up things that were very dear to him. She needed to acknowledge that she was listening to him. "You have a lot invested in those things. I don't think you should make a decision like that on the spur of the moment."
"Mac, it doesn't look like I'm going to get orders to San Diego, at least not before the deadline we gave it, so that means that they'll be in storage for at least a year if I keep them. Do you know how much money I could be putting away for a house if I wasn't paying storage for the plane and the car, not to mention keeping two apartments? I pay all the bills, but there's nothing left over for college funds, a downpayment for a house, or fertility treatments that aren't covered by insurance. When I do get a chance to visit San Diego later this year, I want to take a couple of extra days and drive the 'Vette cross-country...one last road trip together. Besides, a classic convertible in mint condition should fetch top dollar in southern California. I know that it means a couple of more months of storage fees, but to get a good price, I'd have to wait for spring here, so I think a couple of months of fees are unavoidable." He turned to face Mac now, as if he couldn't say it while looking at Sarah. "As for the plane, I'll call Alicia. You remember her, Professor Montes. She said that her grandfather, I think it was, had one, and if I ever wanted to sell her, she wanted first dibs. I want Sarah to go to someone who'll appreciate her and take care of her."
Mac thought that selling these things was like giving up part of who he was, and she wasn't sure that he should do it, but it was his choice. On the other hand, she worried that the last reason for his need to save money, the fertility treatments, would someday be the cause of resentment, if that's what the money was used for. At this moment though, he needed her support. She moved to his side and rubbed her hand across his shoulders. "You should take her up one more time before you make any calls."
"No, Mac. You can say goodbye to your car during a road trip, but it doesn't work that way with your plane. If I took her up, I wouldn't be able to let her go."
Mac pulled him into an embrace, and he let her hold onto him while he added, "I'll call an agent to put the loft up for sale, too."
Mac wasn't sure what she could say or do to comfort him, but he wasn't acting like he wanted out of her embrace, and she wasn't going to be the one to pull away first. If this was one of the things that had been on his mind last night, she certainly understood more about why he'd been moody. Mac sometimes hated her internal clock because it timed things that she didn't care how long they lasted. This was one of those times. Her heart felt for Harm and wanted nothing more than to let him take comfort in her arms for as long as he wanted or needed to be there, but her clock was ticking off the minutes that they'd been standing there while her mind had raced to find another solution.
He stood in her embrace for nearly five minutes before he pulled back. "We've got other things to do than just stand here. Let's check on Tyler for Mattie, and then we'll take a nice, leisurely drive back to Bud and Harriet's for dinner. What do you say? You in?"
"With you? You bet."
After giving Harm the address of the community center where the open house was to take place, silence permeated the inside of the car, and Mac understood the reason. Harm wasn't at peace with his decision, and he wasn't able to talk anymore about it or anything else right now.
After parking the car at the center, they made their way up the walkway to the open doors. Mac heard Harm take in and let out a deep breath and, when she looked over at him, he'd conjured up a smile for Tyler's sake. They were looking around to see if they could see him when a familiar voice called them. "Mr. and Mrs. Rabb, over here." They looked towards the voice and saw Mrs. Potter behind a school cafeteria-type table, and she was waving them over.
They approached Mrs. Potter, and she walked them through the sign in process and told them the purpose of the open house. After they'd signed in and recieved the phamplet on the most frequently asked questions about adoption, Mrs. Potter's job was done, and she made it a point to talk to them because they were there to see Tyler, probably her favorite foster child of all time.
"I'm glad you came. He'll be so happy to see you. We do these once a year. He wasn't elegible until after the court had severed both of his parent's rights completely, so this will be his fourth. He's come here every year filled with so much excitement and leaves so disappointed that it breaks my heart, but he has hope. Tyler has been rejected by couples for reasons that vary from 'they were really more interested in getting a girl' to 'he's blonde and no one will believe that his ours.' Some people just don't understand adoption." Mrs. Potter let out a heavy sigh. "Anyway, this time last year, a couple seemed really interested in him, and we all thought that he was going to be adopted. They were having him for overnight visits, but they found out that she was pregnant after two years of trying. Her doctors told her that her pregnancy would be an at-risk one, and they opted not to add adopting Tyler to her stress. When we told Tyler, he said that, every year he gets a little closer and, one of these days, he's going to get picked. He's a great kid. He's sitting over by the refreshment table. He says that he gets to check out everyone that way because, sooner or later, everyone wants a drink or a brownie."
Harm got the definite impression that Mrs. Potter was hopeful that their visit marked the year that Tyler got picked. He and Mac made their way over to the refreshment table, and Tyler saw them and approached. "You're Mattie's parents, right?"
Mac bent down to talk to the little boy. "That's right. I'm Mac and he's Harm."
"What kind of name is Mac for a girl?" he asked.
Mac felt like they were blocking the refreshment table, so she suggested that they move to some chairs that were out of the way. Once the three of them were seated, Mac explained, "Mac is a nickname. It's short for MacKenzie, and Harm is short for Harmon."
He looked down at the floor like it was a crime or something for him not to have one when he responded, "I don't have a nickname."
Mac wasn't surprised when Harm spoke to him in a fatherly fashion. "You want one, buddy?" Tyler's head shot up, and he looked up at Harm, nodding in the affirmative. "Well, I think if you're name is Tyler, then you're nickname should be Ty."
"Ty, I like it," the little boy said.
Harm spoke again. "What else do you like?"
"I like baseball and cars."
"Harm has a really cool car," Mac announced.
"Is it here? Can I see it?"
Mac was amused that boys just liked cars. It didn't matter what their age. "I'll bet if we go to the window over there that faces the parking lot, you could see it."
The boy was on his feet with a "let's go" in a matter of seconds. Harm and Mac followed and, sure enough, the red car could be seen clearly from the window. Mac was amused by Tyler's excitement when he asked Harm if he could take him for a ride in it someday. Harm told him, "It's a convertible, so it's not very warm inside right now, but maybe when the weather gets warmer."
Mac told Tyler, well, Ty, as he was going by today, that Mattie had asked them to tell him that she said hello, that she was feeling much better, and that he should write to her as many times as he could because she really liked getting his letters.
Harm was surprised when Mrs. Potter came by to tell them that it was two thirty and that open house was over. It hadn't felt like they'd been talking to the boy for an hour and a half. Mrs. Potter said that she needed to get Tyler home so that she could make dinner for everyone. Mrs. Potter had taken a few steps away when Tyler pulled his hand from hers and ran back to Harm and Mac. He wrapped his little arms around Mac's waist and hugged her. He looked at Harm and wasn't sure how a hug would go over with the tall guy, so he stood up straight and offered his hand. Harm, very aware of the height difference, squatted down to be closer to Ty's level to shake the young man's hand. As quickly as he'd flown over, he ran back, saying "good bye" over his shoulder.
They were on the way out when Ms. LeMoine saw them. "I'm so glad you came. No one had talked to Tyler before you came. I said hello and goodbye to him a few minutes ago, and he's never left one of these that happy before."
Mac had to ask. "No one talked to him?"
"I'm afraid not. Tyler will be seven in March, and the older he gets, the harder it will be to place him. Most potential parents are scared off by his background and see a drug addict in ten or twelve years, and they don't want to say that they raised him. One day I hope I find two people who'll be smart enough to know that he isn't a lost cause because of his father and mother, that if they're loving parents to him, he'll be just fine."
Mac looked at Harm with sad eyes. "I feel awful that we might have spoiled things for him. We might have kept people from approaching him because we were talking to him. He didn't get closer to being adopted this year."
Harm didn't want to have an unhappy Marine on his hands, so he asked, "Ms. LeMoine, Mac and I are here in Washington on a very tight schedule, and I don't know what it entails for you, but would it be possible for us to take Tyler out for a few hours tomorrow since he's out of school?"
"We still have information on both of you from Mattie's case, so I can arrange for you to have him for a few hours tomorrow, based on your previous history with us. Do you remember how to get to the Potter house?"
"Yes. Is there a particular time that we should come by?"
"You can pick him up just before lunch, say eleven thirty, but he needs to be back by four thirty."
Mac and Harm expressed their appreciation for her time and her help, and left the community center for Bud and Harriet's house. Harm seemed to be feeling better, and Mac thought about how the day had gone better than she'd expected, since Harm had dropped the news on her that he wanted to sell everything.
The car ride seemed longer on the way back. Maybe it was because the ride was quiet and, with darkness falling outside, there was no scenery for her to look at. About halfway to Bud and Harriet's, Harm did make the statement that she'd better think of something to do with Tyler tomorrow.
Harriet was thrilled to see them. They chatted for a few minutes before dinner was ready, and it was delicious. After dinner, Harriet and Mac made their way to the kitchen to talk, and Bud and Harm went into the den to talk about the case and decide if they should drive down to Norfolk on Monday night for court on Tuesday morning or drive down early on Tuesday.
Harriet made sure that Harm and Mac got to see each one of the children and how much they'd grown before putting the younger ones to bed. With the younger children in bed, and a drive out to Blacksburg on their list for tomorrow, Harm and Mac thought it was time to say goodnight and head back to the apartment.
The ride to the apartment didn't seem very long, accompanied by light conversation about Harriet's meal and the growth of the Roberts' children and such.
Once in the apartment, Harm took her in his arms and kissed her passionately, like he'd been saving it up all day. After kissing her, he scooped her up and took her to bed where they made love. It was after lovemaking and while Mac was lying in his arms that Harm asked her, "Do you want Tyler?"
"Some, I guess. I think it's sad that such a sweet little boy can't find a home. I know that Mattie's on board for it because, when we were talking about him, she told me straight out that she wouldn't mind."
"I thought you wanted a baby."
"I do. I guess that's why I said some, but, on the other hand, I've thought about him a lot since we first met him, almost every day. We saw several children at the Potter house during the few visits that we made before we got to take Mattie home, but, when I saw Tyler, I felt something. I can't say that I love him, and I can't say that I don't, but I can say that he's touched my heart...like you did the first time I met you."
"This is really what you wanted to discuss with me. The other stuff was just chaff when you couldn't bring yourself to tell me everything, wasn't it?"
"Yes. I didn't realize how much stress you were under until last night, and I had no idea that driving your car yesterday had added another thing to your plate until you talked about it today. Can I say something about that subject while we're talking?"
"Yes."
"Think about it some more before you do anything. I know that it's your stuff and it's your decision, but I really think that one day isn't enough time to think of other options." Mac paused. "Would you want to adopt Tyler?"
"No."
"Can I ask why?"
"I'm tired. Let's get some sleep. We have a drive out to Blacksburg again tomorrow, and I need to get my head back into that murder case."
Mac didn't know why he'd shut down again, but she knew better than to press him for any anwers right now. It was best to let him rest and see if he'd talk about it before or after they visited Tyler tomorrow. She snuggled into him, and he wrapped his arms around her a little tighter. No more words were exchanged. They just fell asleep.
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