VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, [2], 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ]



[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 16:12:30 11/02/14 Sun
Author: Lace
Subject: The weekend

The story is set in season nine, after Paraguay.

The characters aren't mine, mistakes are.



It's early morning and the park is quiet. I meet a few other early runners as I follow my usual trail, but it's quiet and I like it that way. Thirty minutes earlier I woke up on the floor after falling from my bed, I've had my usual nightmare about Paraguay. It's no point going back to sleep so I decide to go for a run instead and then start the day early. I have a lot to catch up on at JAG, and I know the Admiral is mad at me after I screwed up a case I was defending. Being called a failure by my client's father, who's also a Rear Admiral, was the top of the iceberg for me. I've failed a lot lately.

I finish my run and head back to the car as I hear the voices of the past tell me how much of a failure I am. It all started with my father, the drunk. “You're useless, Sarah. You can't do anything right. Just like your mother.” I hear my father voice hunting me from his grave. Maybe he was right after all. I can't do anything right.

I don't understand where I left my will to fight, but it must have disappeared somewhere in Paraguay. Maybe Sadiq Fahd stole that from me, he is hunting me in my dreams, making me wake up in panic. Webb have begged me to talk to someone, but I don't want to. I know he means well. When I think about it I actually don't know what he means lately. He's acting like my boyfriend, which is strange because even though we got close in Paraguay I don't trust him enough to have deep feelings for him.

As I get into my car I feel the strongest urge to call Harm. The problem is that I don't know where we are at the moment. I'm all alone in the world as usual, and the person I trust the most, actually the only person I truly trust, is probably angry as hell with me. Another thing I've managed to screw up. I wish I could take back the words I spoke outside that Hotel in Paraguay. I blame Post Traumatic Stress, at least that's what the Admiral blamed when I spoke to him about messing up the La Porte case earlier this week.

For the last two days I've been waiting for Harm to call me. A part of me is disappointed that he hasn't contacted me to tell me that he's joining the CIA. I overheard a conversation between Harm, Catherine Gale and Webb at the hospital, but I assumed Harm would come to me in person to tell me. I'm still his best friend. I think.

By the time I walk inside my apartment I have decided to go see him. He can't just ignore me like this. He has just as much of the blame as me about the angry words that were exchanged between us in Paraguay. He was behaving like a jerk. I shower and dress in my uniform, deciding to go by his place and confront him before work. I don't care that it's early and that he's most likely asleep. I'm going to talk to him. I refuse to deal with everything on my own I decide as I head for my car. I want my best friend.

I feel determined as I stand in the elevator going up to his floor. I won't let him push me out of his life. I know that he's angry and hurt, and I feel guilty because he's not in the Navy anymore, but it was his choice to come after me. I'm thankful, but not about to take all the blame for what happened. I knock several times before the door opens. He's rubbing his eyes as he stands before me in his boxers.

“Mac?”

I walk past him. “Can I come in?” I'm already inside as I ask. I turn to him and take in his muscular form, this man is sexy and my feelings for him goes far beyond friendship.

“It's six o'clock in the morning, Mac.” He says this as he close the door. He puts his hands on his hips and look at me tiredly.

“Why haven't you been in touch? Are we not friends anymore?” I know I sound needy, but I don't care. He's all I have and I don't want to lose him. He means too much to me, I rely on him for everything.

“I didn't want to disturb as I assumed you were busy taking care of your boyfriend.” He tries to be lighthearted, but I can sense the undertone. He's jealous as hell, and I enjoy it a little bit. He had his chance to claim me, but he chickened out and now he's acting like a jerk.

I snort. “I need my best friend. Not the jerk who throw out everything nasty that comes to his mind, but the supportive one who'd fly across the world to save my ass.”

I can see that I've hit a nerve, because he looks worried now. “Mac, are you okay?”

“No, I'm not okay.” I admit it. There's no point in hiding it from him. “I royally screwed up at work.”

We sit down and he makes me tell him all about Alison La Porte and how I handed Bud a classified file. I sit back as I finish telling the story, feeling even stupider now that I have said it out loud. “I fucked up.”

Harm shrug and I can see that he's sorry. “Yeah, but we all do sometimes. And with everything you've been through I'm surprised the Admiral even gave you a case like this.”

“Thanks for the confidence.” I know I sound pitiful, but I can't help it. I'm an emotional wreck.

He let out a small laugh now. “Okay, enough of this. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You'll be fine, Mac. Give it some time, and be honest with the Admiral. Tell him that you need some time before he throws you to the wolves.”

I smile by his choice of words. This is what I needed to hear. “Thanks.”

He smiles as he lean back on the couch and look at me. “Did Clay tell you that I'm going to fly for the CIA?”

“No, I haven't seen him since the night I overheard you talking to him and Catherine Gale about it.” There, I admit that I knew. I don't have the energy to play games with him.

“It's my new job.” I can see that he's trying to come off as happy, but there's an undertone there that let's me know that he's worried too. I'm glad, because it means that he's not ready to leave everything behind.

“What's the deal with Miss Gale anyway? She's your pretend wife right? Or is she something more now?” I'm jealous as hell. I want this man to be all mine, and I'm not about to share him with some blonde super lawyer. She's not even all that pretty either. Far from Harm's league at least.

“You're jealous.” I'm busted and I don't care.

I stand and walk over to the kitchen area. I need coffee. “She's not really your type, huh? And she's not really all that pretty either.” There I said it. I arrange for the coffeemaker to start brewing and turn to him. He has walked over and is watching me with amusement. “What?”

“Why do you care?”

“I'm just surprised, that's all. One minute you are crossing the world, risking your life to find me, and then you act like a jerk. It's hard to understand you sometimes.” I cross my arms as I study him. He's hard to read now, his eyes dark and looking straight at me.

“What do you want from me, Mac?”

I hesitate. What do I want from him? I decide that now is my chance to put all the cards on the table. “I want you to stop pushing me away.”

He steps closer to me, looking me into my eyes. “Why did you tell me that we would never work?”

“I was tired, and probably a little bit traumatized when I said that. I was in no shape to dance another round with you. So I took the easy way out.” I'm being honest as I feel the warmth from his body close to me. A tear escapes my right eye and soon one from the left follow. I'm exhausted and I step into his warm embrace and put my head on his chest, hugging him close. I feel him hug me back and kiss the top of my head.

“Everything is going to be okay, Mac.”

I don't know how long we stand there, but eventually I feel fatigue and I release him and wipe away my tears. I turn away from him trying hard to compose myself, feeling a little silly, but very happy that he still is there when I need him.

“Can you take the day off?”

I turn to him. “It's been quiet so I guess I could start the weekend early.”

“Call the Admiral, tell him that you need a long weekend. Let's drive out to Belleville for the weekend, my grandma is expecting me. It's the best place to recharge and get new perspective. My grandma will be happy to see you again.”

I have met his grandma once before. He brought her to JAG one time to show her where he worked. What a lovely lady. I'm actually feeling overwhelmed that he's asking me to go with him, knowing that he doesn't bring people out there when he goes. At one point he actually told me that except from Diane one time, he'd never had any of his girlfriend’s join him there, because it’s his special place.

“Are you sure?” I ask him, giving him a chance to change his mind.

“I wouldn't have asked if I didn't mean it, Mac.” His firm tone lets me know that he's serious, so I reach for the phone and call the Admiral. My commanding officer understands and ask me to come back with a clear head. I thank him and hang up.

“I need to change out of this uniform and pack some stuff. Can you pick me up?” I ask as I put the phone away. Just the thought of leaving town has made me feel lighter.

“I'll be there in an hour. I'll bring breakfast.”

I smile as I head out the door. This is my chance to fix what went wrong, and maybe I can change Harm's mind about joining the CIA at the same time. I'm being selfish, but I don't want him anywhere near the CIA.

To be continued...

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]



Replies:

[> Now this is what tpb should have written! Off to a great start, Lace. -- carramor, 18:24:33 11/02/14 Sun [1]


[ Edit | View ]
[> Great, looking forward to the next part -- Alicia, 20:17:45 11/02/14 Sun [1]


[ Edit | View ]
[> Glad to see another chapter when I visited. Hope to see more soon about "our" Rabbs. -- annefranklin, 01:14:15 11/03/14 Mon [1]


[ Edit | View ]
[> wonderful, please continue... -- Debbi, 01:37:09 11/03/14 Mon [1]


[ Edit | View ]
[> Perfect. Can't wait for more -- Beth, 08:47:09 11/03/14 Mon [1]


[ Edit | View ]
[> I love the start to this story. I can't wait for more. -- Cristina, 12:53:09 11/03/14 Mon [1]


[ Edit | View ]
[> OOH Looking forward to more Lace -- Bev uk, 13:58:11 11/03/14 Mon [1]


[ Edit | View ]



[ Contact Forum Admin ]

Forum timezone: GMT-5
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.