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Date Posted: 21:19:18 04/23/14 Wed
Author: usmgrad
Subject: The Past, part two of three

Title – The Past

Author - usmgrad

Disclaimer: JAG and its characters are the property of CBS Television, Paramount Studios and Bellisarius Productions. All rights reserved. No monetary gain will be realized from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

A/N – what if there was another reason for Harm not being able to “let go”? This doesn’t exactly follow canon but then sometimes the show didn’t either. Takes place after Mac’s Christmas accident.


Part two


The next few days were hard on Mac; she had lots of questions but didn’t know how to approach Harm. After the trip to the cemetery Harm seemed different. Not exactly back to his normal self but not the “space cadet” of a few weeks earlier. Personal conversations were still off limits, but somehow they managed to work and complete their assignment. Harm even managed to surprise her with an invitation to dinner the night after the arrests had been made. Now their work was down to minor paper work.

Hanging up the phone Harm relayed the good news to Mac, “the General said good job and take a few days off. We don’t have to report back until Thursday.”

Mac was pleased; however she couldn’t tell if this was good news or not for Harm. She tested the waters, “Wow a whole three days off. What shall I do? The sun is shinning, the temperature is perfect, I think I’ll get a room on the ocean and sit outside for the next two days.”

Mac began to pack her briefcase. When Harm didn’t respond to her personal comment she tried a work one. “I’ll make the return flight arrangements and let you know where and when. Maybe if we’re lucky they won’t be a transport headed east and we can actual fly commercial, with seats and everything.”

Still no response from Harm. Ever since he hung the phone from speaking to General Creswell Harm had been starring at a folder on his desk. Mac had hoped with the case finally over her true “partner” would return, apparently not. Mac picked up her briefcase and headed toward the door. “I’ll call you when I have the arrangements.”

“I can save you the cost of the room.” Harm’s words stopped her in the doorway.

She turned to see him finally looking at her. “What?”

“I said I can save you the cost of a room on the beach.” He paused, as if gathering his thoughts, or maybe his courage. “How does a room with a view, actually your own private suite just a few feet from a private, well semi-private beach.”

Mac leaned against the door facing, “Sound too good to be true. Where is this wonderland?”

“Casa de Burnett.” It came out as a whisper, however his eyes managed to relay it was a serious offer.

“Harm I couldn’t barge in on your mom and step father.” Mac came back into the room, glad Harm was finally talking to her about something that was not work related, however not wanting their conversation to be overheard she closed the door.

“You could if you were invited.” Harm sounded a bit more confident.

“But I’m . . .”

Standing, Harm didn’t let her finish. “Yes you are. Every time I come west mom asks about you. So I thought I’d surprise her and let her ask you herself.”

That statement alone surprised Mac, then she realized, “She doesn’t even know you’re coming does she, let alone me.”

“Not exactly, but it will be okay. My mom likes surprises”

“Harm I’m not sure.”

Picking up the phone for emphasis, “Would it help if I called her and let her invite you herself? Of course I’d have to listen to her chastise me when she finds out I’ve been in town for the last two weeks and haven’t called.”

Mac breathed a sight of relieve as she finally was in the same room as her partner, not the ‘zombie’ that she had been working with for the past two weeks. “Harmon Rabb you said you were going to call.”

Harm set the phone down. “And I tried, I can’t help they weren’t home each time I called. If it makes you feel any better Frank knew I was coming, I’m sure he told my mother. Please Mac, I’ll never hear the end of it if she finds out you are here and I didn’t at least convince you to come for dinner. If you’re uncomfortable I’ll personally pay for your hotel room.”

“Well when you put it that way how can I refuse?” But Mac saw something under Harm’s argument, something he wasn’t telling her. Between that and the visit to the cemetery she hoped in the next three days to have some answers.


The drive to La Jolla was a quiet one. Harm wasn’t sure what to say and Mac was too nervous to say anything. Arriving Mac discovered she had nothing to be nervous about as Harm’s mom was delighted to see them. Trish and Frank were cordial and open which made everyone comfortable, except for Harm, who was called on the carpet for not letting her know he was in town.

After all the introductions, apologizes (from Harm) and a quick tour of the downstairs, Harm took Mac upstairs to let her unpack and unwind before dinner. When Mac came downstairs she was hoping to find her partner and take a walk on the beach, however she discovered he had taken off for a run as soon as he had come downstairs. She found Trish in the kitchen fixing tea and was invited to join her.

Mac was quiet as Trish tried to apologize for her son’s rude behavior. Mac replied, while looking down the beach for signs of Harm “I wish he would have told me, I would have joined him.”

“I think he wanted to be alone.” Trish’s simple explanation spoke volumes to Mac. She knew about wanting to be alone. Past conversations between Harm and Mac played in the Marine’s head as she took a seat at the kitchen table. She had thought they were at a place where the time alone wasn’t as important as time shared. She was saddened to discover she had been wrong.

The two ladies sat quietly sipping their tea. Mac finally broke the silence, “Harm’s been acting strangely.” Mac almost felt like she was breaking a confidence, but she couldn’t keep quiet any longer, something had been bothering her best friend and she hoped perhaps his mother could shed some light.

“How so?” Trish treaded carefully knowing her son was a very private person, even when it came to Mac.

“Preoccupied, distant, at times like he didn’t want to be in California, or maybe it was just he didn’t want me here.”

“Mac,” Trish reached over to pat Mac’s hand. “I know that’s not true, he enjoys your company.”

Mac looked unsure.

Trish tried to reassure the lady in front of her. “He’s told me as much, well as much as Harm tells anyone anything.”

“Has he always been this way?”

“Not always.” Trish then began to tell Mac stories of Harm when he was young, stories of him and his father. Mac was beginning to see her best friend in a new light.

“As a little boy he was outgoing, always asking questions, getting into trouble. He changed when his father’s plane went down. Not at first, I think he didn’t understand what was going on. But later when the ship came home and his daddy wasn’t on it, he realized his daddy really wasn’t coming home. He started talking less, stopped playing with his friends who’s daddies did come home. He started keeping everything inside. It was a difficult time for a young boy of six. Even moving away for a while didn’t help. He had changed and it seemed there was nothing I could do to get my little, inquisitive boy back.”

After a while Frank came in to join then and the stories changed to Harm as a teenager and young man. A few of the stories Mac had heard before, from Harm’s point of view. It was interesting to listen to them from his parent’s point of view. Mac began to realized that in her relationship with Harm many of the ‘problems’ occurred when they had differing views of a single subject. It was enlightening to see how those different views all show a single picture.

Afternoon turned to evening and they each helped in preparing dinner. There was still no sign of Harm. As Mac set the table she tried to come up with a way to ask Harm’s parents what she wanted to ask Harm. Mac finally decided the direct approach was needed.

“Harm’s been acting strangely since we arrived in California. He’d leave every afternoon and not returning till morning. He would turn down my invitations to dinner or sight seeing. I was so concerned; one afternoon when he took off I followed him.”

Trish stopped what she was doing and waited for Mac to continue.

“He was so distracted he didn’t even know I was there.” Mac waited for a reply from Trish, when none came she continued. “I was surprised to see him go to a cemetery.” Mac finally saw the reaction she was hoping for, Trish knew where he had gone and knew why.

Almost apologetically Trish finally responded, “Sarah, my son has had difficult times through out his life, some he’s managed to accept and move on, others he still struggles with. But I do know he wants to let you in, it’s just hard for him at times to let anyone know his most private thoughts and feelings.”

“What if he won’t talk to me?” Mac was afraid she had hit a dead end.

“He will. I pretty sure it’s why he invited you here. Give him time. He’ll open up to you in his own way.”

Dinner conversation was minimal, all Mac could do was wait for her partner, wondering where this was all going to end.

After dinner Frank and Trish excused themselves and went upstairs, Mac waited for Harm until very late, finally exhaustion won out and she went to bed. It was well into the early morning hours when Harm made it back to the house. Sweaty and exhausted he stopped only to grab a bottle of water before heading up for a shower and some sleep. He ran into Frank on the stairs coming down to investigate the noise.

“I was wondering who was in the kitchen.”

“Sorry Frank I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Its okay I as up anyhow. Are you alright?”

“No.”

“I didn’t think so. Anything I can do?”

“Turn back the clock?”

Frank laid his hand on Harm’s arm, “I wish I could son, I wish I could.”

“I’ll be alright. I always am. It’s just being here . . .”

“I know, I wish I could say something that would help.”

“There’s nothing to say.”

Harm headed up the stairs. Only to be stopped again by Frank, “Mac’s wondering what’s going on with her partner.”

“I know.” Harm didn’t turn around but Frank could tell he was unsure what to do about it.

“If you need to talk.”

“Thanks Frank, I appreciate it. Goodnight.”





The next morning Mac was up with the sun, quietly dressed and headed out for a run on the beach. By the time she returned Trish and Frank were up fixing breakfast, Harm was no where in sight. Assured by Frank that Harm did indeed come home Mac headed upstairs for a shower.

Harm finally made an appearance mid morning and suggested he and Mac do some sight seeing. He hoped to finally gather the courage to talk to Mac. He knew she was hurting and he was the cause of it. At the mention of spending the day with Harm Mac had hopes she would be able to get the answers to her questions. Since this was Harm’s territory she let him make all the suggestions. They drove up Highway 1 stopping at points along the way. After lunch they headed back to La Jolla, stopping at Trish’s gallery for a personal tour by the proud owner. Mac noticed Harm was finally relaxing, even joking at times. Harm and Mac made arrangements to pick up food to grill for dinner and headed out again. The afternoon quickly turned to evening. Harm grilled while Trish and Mac prepared the side dishes. After dinner Frank and Trish headed inside leaving Harm and Mac alone on the deck watching the setting sun. Harm had let the day slip by without starting the conversation he needed to have with Mac. He knew he was running out of time. Mac was afraid her time had run out.

Mac could see Harm retreating into himself again and decided if he wasn’t going to talk to her willingly she was just going to have to ask questions.

“You’re mighty quiet over there.”

“I know” Harm’s response was quiet.

Mac tried again, “Harm, I know you are having trouble with . . . something. Is there anything I can do to help?” If they were no longer working towards building a relation ship together, she was still his best friend.

Harm turned to look at Mac and took hold of her hand, “you’re doing it, just being here with me is helping”

“I wish you would tell me what it is that has you so . . . I don’t know, quiet, melancholy, not yourself.”

Harm turned away, Mac could see the pain in his eyes. He remained quiet, but held tight to her hand.

Mac waited a moment then quietly began a conversation which she hoped would shed some answers. “I have to apologize to you.”

“For what?” Mac could tell from his expression he had been taken by surprise at her statement.

Mac took a deep breath and hoped what she was about to do did not destroy their fragile relationship. “I have been so concerned about you that the other day I followed you.”

Harm turned loose of her hand, taking a step away. He couldn’t do this; she was too close, both in location and conversation. He didn’t think he could talk about this tonight.

A little surprised and disappointed at Harm’s reaction, Mac continued, “I didn’t mean to invade your privacy, but you’ve had me so worried. I am truly sorry.”

Harm didn’t reply, yet he didn’t move further away. He stood still waiting for her next move.

“May I ask a question?”

Harm managed to nod his head yes, he knew what was coming and he didn’t know if he was ready for it.

“Who was Amanda Rabb?”

It was a long time before he answered.

“My wife.”

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Replies:

[> What? More please this is wonderful -- Beth, 07:52:02 04/24/14 Thu [1]


[ Edit | View ]
[> Oh wow - would begging get us more - please! -- Ciara, 09:17:55 04/24/14 Thu [1]


[ Edit | View ]
[> *Thud* -- Serenity, 14:52:31 04/24/14 Thu [1]

Whoa now that's a bombshell... eager to know how all of this unfolds.


[ Edit | View ]

[> Wow that was surprising please post more soon Usmgrad -- Bev uk, 15:58:33 04/24/14 Thu [1]


[ Edit | View ]



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