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Date Posted: 03:18:09 08/31/13 Sat
Author: fananicfan
Subject: Part B of Love and Support - story #46

PART B


LIVING ROOM
JOHNSON HOUSE
BLACKSBURG, VA
1615 LOCAL - 1315 PACIFIC

MATTIE'S POV

"Mattie, we need to get moving or we'll never make it to your parents' place for dinner," Kevin comments as if I'm not aware that we should be on the road to Manassas by now.

"I think I left the stove on. I'll be right back," I mutter.

"Mattie, you've checked the stove and made half a dozen trips upstairs for your laptop, phone charger and I don't remember what else in the last fifteen minutes. You're stalling. Why? Is it because of me?"

My expression must convey my confusion before I've verbalized it because he adds another question, "Do you think that they aren't going to like the fact that I'm with you?"

"No. I think they'll be fine with that part, especially when they find out that you love me and that you've made a commitment to support me in my effort to stay sober," I reply to put his mind at ease.

"Mattie..." he says, taking my arm. "...you know that you don't have to tell them today."

"Yes, I do. I don't want to...I mean my dad will have just gotten here, and I'm going to drop this bomb on him that I have a drinking problem. Welcome home, Dad, right?... But with us all traveling together in a week, and then me living there for the summer, I think they need to know, don't you?" I ask, but I don't stop talking to wait for a response. "I think that the longer I wait, the harder it'll be for me to do it, so for me, the sooner I'm honest with them, the better."

He nods, signaling his understanding of the feeling that I've expressed before saying reassuringly, "You know, I don't think it's going to be as bad as you think it'll be....I mean, you know that they've suspected for months that you have a problem. So, the news isn't going to be a complete surprise to them...and you know that they love you."

"They do, and I know that they'll be supportive of my recovery. Truthfully, I don't think that I'm worried as much about telling them that I think my drinking might be a problem as I am about...." I take a deep breath, trying to breathe in the strength and courage to admit my core fear.

"About what? The way that your parents will handle the news?" Kevin asks calmly, urging me to continue so that he'll understand my fear.

"I'm not worried about my dad. He'll accept the news at face value and ask what he can do to help, but it isn't going to be that easy with Mac."

"Because she's a Marine?"

I don't know if his comment comes from his own feeling of intimidation because Mac is a take-charge woman who can handle herself or if he's trying to joke to lighten the mood and make me feel more comfortable so that I'll continue to talk freely.

"Her Marine status has nothing to do with it. My concern comes from knowing that she's been where I am now. She'll ask questions. She'll want to know what it was that made me admit to myself that I might have a problem, and that story is something that I don't know if I'm ready to share."

"I'd like to think that you decided that you couldn't live without me, but I'm not that naive. If it were about me, you'd have quit drinking months ago." He pauses and takes a deep breath. "You might get over some of the fear of telling them if you had some idea of what you were going to say, and you could do that by telling me now. Not only would you get to rehearse what you were going to say to Mac if or when she asks, but you'd be telling me what happened that made you knock on my door last weekend in tears, and I think it's important for me to know, too...if we're going to move forward with us."

I feel the unmistakable sting of forming tears.

"I love you and I'd like to get back together with you, but I just have so much going on right now, so much to work out. I don't think that I can be in a relationship right now."

"We already have a relationship. We're friends, best friends, but we had something more, something special, and when you're ready, I'd like to be your boyfriend again. If you're open to the idea of being my girlfriend, I think we owe it to ourselves to build a strong foundation for our future by being open and honest with each other, starting now."

"I'd like that, but it isn't fair to you. I don't know when I'll be ready to..." My voice trails off as the uncertainty of my future washes over me.

"There's no time stamp on when I see us together again. Maybe I think too simply, but I believe that you and I are meant to be and that, if you'll let me be here now to love and support you as your friend, be part of your life as you move forward with your recovery, our relationship will bloom naturally into what it's always been meant to be."

"No time limit? No pressure? No conditions?" I ask skeptically.

"No time limit. No pressure. However, there is one condition, and that's that we're honest with each other, even if it's hard to say, such as you telling me when you feel pressured by something that I've said or done or me having to tell you that I think you're shutting me out of your life...things like that. As long as we're communicating honestly, we'll be fine."

I'm still reluctant to tell him about the incident that changed my mind about my drinking being no big deal because my moment of enlightenment could be the end of our new beginning.

However, he's right on two counts. One, telling him will give me practice in saying it aloud, and that may make me less nervous when I tell my parents. Second, if he and I are going to have a chance at a future together, I...we need to be truthful with each other.

"You'd better sit down. What happened a week ago that gave me a wake-up call is a short story, but it may take me some time to get it out."

Kevin sits and reaches for my hand, gently urging me to sit down next to him.

Once I'm seated, I can't look him in the eye, but I don't let go of his hand.

"I feel that I should first say that it could've been much worse and it's the combination of the fear of what could've happened and the embarrassment of, I guess you'd call it, seeing what could become of me if I keep drinking."

Suddenly, when I'm about to tell him what happened, his close proximity is no longer comforting but fills me with anxiety, so I stand before continuing with my confession.

"Last Friday, I was invited to the frat house for a party. Of course it goes without saying that I went and that I drank...a lot."

"Go on," he urges, and I can hear the uneasiness in his voice, but I think that he's worried about the possible scenarios that have begun to pass through his mind about what could've happened to me.

I don't want to go on, but I think that it'd be cruel of me not to finish the story, leaving him to wonder what did happen that night.

"I woke up Saturday morning on the couch at the frat house. I'd drunk so much that I'd passed out there. I sat up and was letting my head clear when I heard a noise. It was a girl, half-naked, rifling through stuff in the room as if she was searching for something. When I asked if I could help, she said, "only if you've seen my pants. I can't seem to find them". I asked her where she remembered having them last like I was asking about something less shocking like her car keys. I mean, who loses their pants?"

I take a moment to let out the breath that I hadn't realized that I'd been holding before continuing.

"We spoke a little while we looked for her pants and, as we talked, it struck me that she didn't seem to be bothered by the fact that she didn't know where she'd 'lost' them. She even joked that it must have been a pretty good party because it's only the good ones where she wakes up and can't find her clothes. She didn't remember much of the night before except for knowing that she'd drunk a lot and had had sex with someone. It was in listening to her that it hit me that, if I keep drinking, one day, I could be her. I don't want to become her, not remembering where I took off my clothes or for whom. She still hadn't found her pants when I darted out of there. I ended up at your dorm room door, crying and half-crazy as it sank in that you and my parents had reason to worry about me."

Kevin stands, takes me in his arms and holds me until our individual fears subside, and then he says softly, "I'm glad that you told me, and I'm even happier that you're okay...and your parents will be, too."

I wipe at the tears that have begun to roll down my cheeks.

"Then we should go. Will you stay with me until I can tell them?" I ask.

"Of course, for as long as you need me," he responds as he takes my hand and walks me towards the front door.

MASTER BEDROOM
RABB RENTAL HOME
MANASSAS, VA
2145 LOCAL

MAC'S POV

I hear the faint sound of music as Harm strums his guitar a few rooms away.

I doubt that Harm needed to play a note in order for anyone to fall asleep. Between the excitement of preparing for today and the nearly constant family activities since his arrival, I'm sure that the children were exhausted and fell asleep soon after we tucked them in.

Perhaps Harm is playing to relax himself.

Though I know that he's glad to be here, I doubt that he was prepared for everything that happened today, and I hope that his volunteering to do the final check on the children tonight was because of how much he missed them and not about putting off coming to bed.

Though we did kiss at the airport and sneaked a smooch or two here and there, I hope that, like myself, he's looking forward to being able to have some 'alone' time tonight.

However, Mattie may have put a damper on my idea of how this night should end.

Though I'm proud of Mattie for taking the first step by admitting that her drinking is a problem. I'm not sure that the incident that she told us about will be her rock bottom, but I also didn't want to convey any negative thoughts concerning her announcement. Sometimes questioning the conviction of an alcoholic's recovery doesn't have a positive effect. Instead, some perceive questions as doubt in their ability or sincerity to stay sober, often resulting in a 'you didn't believe that I could do it' as an excuse to drink when they hit a rough patch on their journey to recovery.

I believe that Harm thought that Mattie was having us sit down after dinner with she and Kevin to inform us that they were a couple again.

It was my first thought, as well.

Though it may have not have been the news that we'd expected to hear, the news itself wasn't a complete surprise to either of us because we've suspected for some time that she has a drinking problem, but I'm sure that Harm wasn't prepared to hear about what happened at the frat house last week on the day that he returned home.

The fact that Harm didn't ask any questions or voice any concerns is something that I need to discuss with him.

Such a conversation has the potential to become heated if we disagree, and I was so looking forward to being in his arms that I don't want to talk about it tonight.

On the other hand, though I want to be with my husband tonight, it could be that he's already upset about Mattie's news, and if we don't discuss it before we go to bed, he'll toss and turn all night, not getting any rest.

He's flying out of the airfield in Leesburg in the morning - where he had Keeter fly his plane to yesterday - so that he and Ty wouldn't have to leave so much earlier than the rest of the family in order to drive to Blacksburg to make the flight to the farm. Instead, the entire family will pile into my minivan and go to the airfield in Leesburg together.

I don't want him to take that plane up without the proper rest...but I don't want to spend the night talking about Mattie's problem when that could upset him, which may also result in him not sleeping tonight.

I'm not sure what I should do, so I nervously twist the ends of the belt of my robe that I have tied around my waist as I wait for Harm to come into the bedroom.

2202 LOCAL

HARM'S POV

I volunteered to do the final check on the children because I missed them so much that the time between them picking me up and their bedtime seemed to be minutes, not hours, making it uncertain who was more unhappy that it was their bedtime, me or them.

I may have had another motive besides the joy of seeing my children once more tonight when I volunteered to do bed check. One that I hadn't consciously considered until I entered our bedroom and find that I'm disappointed that Mac isn't in something slinky and sexy - not as a means of seduction but of invitation.

Being aware that Mattie's news may have taken Mac back to a time in her life that isn't filled with fond memories, I have to wonder if the sight of my wife in her comfortable, knee-length, 'everyday' robe means that my expectation of an intimate reunion with her may not be the way this night ends.

"Everyone asleep?" Mac asks.

"Mattie's still awake. She's on the phone with Kevin, but everyone else is asleep," I reply, wanting to grab her and pull her to me, but the way that she's twisting the ends of her belt, I'm not sure that any move into her personal space would be advised until I know what's on her mind.

"I'm glad that he's supporting her," she comments, but I'm not convinced that it's all that she has to say on the matter.

"But?" I say like a question, inviting her to finish her thought.

"But, nothing...I'm happy that he said that he'll support her."

Still feeling like she's holding back, I say questioningly, "So, you're skeptical. He says that he'll stand by her, but you don't believe him?"

"I believe that he means what he says, but I don't know if he knows what he's getting himself into...how hard it might be for him...for them to get through this to a place where, when she needs to relax or be comforted, the first thing she doesn't reach for is a drink."

"Your doubts revolve around him. I was questioning her commitment to get sober, not his to stand beside her," I state flatly.

"What do you mean?" she asks, finally releasing the tortured ends of her belt.

"I don't have a lot of reference material, but knowing what it took for you, an equally strong woman in my opinion, to decide that it was time to get sober, I question whether the experience that she told us about is enough for her to be successful with recovery."

After a brief pause, I add, "Another reason for my skepticism is that she kept saying that she has a drinking problem. Not once did she use the word alcoholic, which makes me question whether she's being completely honest with herself about how serious her problem is or how tough it's going to be for her...that she doesn't have to avoid drinking at just one party, but learn to live in an alcohol-drinking world."

"I take it that you've been reading up on the subject?" she asks.

"Yes, but part of my information came from what I've learned from you," I state honestly.

"I thought that I was the only one of us who picked up on the fact that she said that she went to a meeting, but she didn't say that she spoke, nor did she use the word alcoholic."

"You weren't, and I don't mind telling you my concerns, but I didn't want to say anything or question her tonight because I thought it might send a negative, unsupportive message to her when that wouldn't be the case at all. I love her and I hope that the peek at what her future might be like if she keeps drinking was enough for her to address her problem..."

"...But you have some parental worries that it won't be, yet you want her to know that you'll do anything that you can to support her recovery," Mac finishes for me. "I felt the same way, and that's why I didn't say anything either, and in the end, despite our concerns, it's her journey to make, and all we can do is make sure that she knows that we love her and that we support her."

She said the last as she stepped close to me, and my arms wasted no time in wrapping around her.

With Mac in my arms for the first time in over a month, and taking some comfort in the fact that our daughter appears to have begun to address her drinking problem, there's only one thing on my mind.

My head begins to tilt slowly downward, my lips wanting so much to make contact with hers.

Unsure if she's ready or able to let go of the thoughts that discussing Mattie's problem may have invoked, whether they be about Mattie or herself, once my lips have made contact with hers, the kiss that begins is tentative, uncertain. ... Is this really the right time to start this?

Mac leaning into me, her lips fusing to mine, leaves no room for doubt that she's as ready as I am for this part of the reunion.

The kiss that began hesitantly quickly becomes one of heated passion.

It's only with Mac that I've ever known the feeling of this combination of love and lust. It's confusing as my heart wants to adore every inch of her while my body wants to take her now.

My skin tingles as her fingertips graze my abdomen as she clutches at the hem of my shirt, pushing it up.

She's soon freed me of it, and my body aches to hold her even closer to me - skin to skin.

With one arm firmly planted in the middle of her lower back, my tongue grazes her lower lip, and her lips part.

I hear a faint moan as my tongue slips into her mouth.

While our tongues begin to tangle with each other, my free hand finds the belt of her robe and, just seconds later, I've slipped my hand inside her robe.

As my hand moves under the cloth, enjoying the feel of her soft flesh as it roams, it's also searching for anything that will be an obstruction to my goal.

My thumb grazes the edge of her breast, and the heat radiating off it makes my jeans suddenly feel much tighter.

My hand continues to travel down to her waist, over her hip and around to her buttocks. Realizing that she has on no undergarments, I have the urge to tear off her robe and get inside her. However, I also want to kiss and caress every inch of her body in a form of worship that can be described with one word - love.

Love and lust are battling for control of my will.

Lust takes the lead as our lips part, and while taking a moment to catch our breath, Mac works quickly to unfasten my jeans.

She peppers my chest with kisses while her hands unzip my pants.

She's made me a little more comfortable by giving me some room for expansion, which slightly eases my immediate need, so love and lust are once again vying as my best course of action.

The push and pull of the two emotions is in itself stimulating and adds to my desire for her. I know that I couldn't articulate how she makes me feel, at least not in my current state, so I find myself breathlessly whispering, "I've missed you."

She gives me a sexy smile in response and then says seductively, "I hope you plan to show me how much you've missed me."

Instantly, the need to make her wish come true moves loving her into the lead, and my lips claim hers.

This time when our passionate kiss forces us to separate to take in oxygen, I push her robe off her shoulders until it falls to the floor.

I gaze at her body. The color of her skin, the curves, the scars ... are all as I remember.

"Beautiful," I mutter, scooping her up into my arms.

I waste no time in making it to our bed where I bend slightly at the knee so that she doesn't feel as if I've dropped her when I release her.

She falls almost in the middle of our bed, right where I'd intended.

Before joining her, I remove my jeans and underwear in one fluid motion.

As I get into bed, her hand glances across my growing erection.

I don't know if her touch was accidental or intentional. However, I do know that her touch was almost my undoing.

I position myself so that I'm over her in a way that makes her neck easily accessible and I begin to kiss her neck below her jaw line until I reach that spot behind her ear.

My hand caresses one of her breasts, and the gentle kneading of her soft mound heats her flesh.

I move to get into a comfortable position to give the hot breast more attention.

While one hand gives the other breast attention, I begin my assault by placing cooling kisses around the mound of heated flesh. Then my tongue continues to give attention by giving her erect nipple a flick before circling it completely in the way that I know she enjoys.

She reacts to my actions by arching her back, pushing her breast up into my face.

I take it into my mouth and suck gently until the taste of breast milk touches my tongue.

It isn't that the taste is unpleasant, but with my mind filled with carnal thoughts, it's odd for me to think of her breasts that are aiding in the pleasure of this time together as the same means by which she gives our daughter added nutrition.

Though I didn't suspect that there would be a different outcome to the same action on the other breast, I hoped that, knowing that it would happen this time, my reaction to it would be different. It wasn't.

Not able to reconcile the two concepts that this woman is both a mother and the object of my lustful thoughts tonight, I begin to kiss upward, starting in the valley between her breasts.

I reach my destination of her lips, and we lock in a passionate kiss with dueling tongues while my hand roams over her skin. My hand dips down between her legs and, finding her wet and ready, I begin to move once again, this time to position myself to enter her.

Eagerly, perhaps too much so, I sink my full length into her.

She lets out a moan of pleasure.

I pull out and once again push my erection fully into her.

This time she groans out a "Yes," acknowledging that her need to have me inside her is just as great as mine is to be there.

When I start to enter her again, she raises her hips to meet my next plunge into her, sending me just that much deeper inside her, and this time it's I who lets out a primal groan of pleasure.

Though there's love between us, our pace is a more feverish pace, like lovers who've been separated for too long and have only a limited time to reconnect.

It isn't long before we reach that state of bliss that comes from release.

Sated and spent, we assume a post-coital cuddle, our need for sleep quickly replacing our need to make love.

As I drift off, I think of what a difference this is from last night when I couldn't sleep. However, with Mac in my arms and my children down the hall, I know that I'm 'home' because we're all together in the same place.

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Replies:

[> Yay! Glad this went up. I have been looking forward to it and it definitely didn't disappoint. -- Nettie, 05:27:54 08/31/13 Sat [1]


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[> Perfect reunion. Hopefully Mattie will be alright. Can't wait for more. you are an amazing writer. -- Beth, 05:37:42 08/31/13 Sat [1]


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[> The wait for 'part B' surely did not dissappoint, you make your Rabb family very real. Will look forward to next! -- JoyZ, 10:00:16 08/31/13 Sat [1]


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[> Wonderful. Your writing conveys both the tension and the love, -- Debbi, 11:28:19 08/31/13 Sat [1]


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[> Beautiful reunion and looking forward to the next part, thank you so much!!! -- Can Sheshe, 18:19:03 08/31/13 Sat [1]


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[> aw what a reunion looking forward to more -- Bev uk, 10:00:22 09/01/13 Sun [1]


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[> What a great installment of the fanstastic story. Loved it! -- Shazam, 18:49:11 09/01/13 Sun [1]


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[> You handle all the family members' issues so beautifully. So glad you gave us 'a little something to tide us over' 'til the next part. -- carramor, 22:12:54 09/03/13 Tue [1]


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