Re: 12 years -- Christians and Divorce

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Date Posted: 13:06:11 05/01/01 Tue
Author: Debbie
Subject: Re: 12 years
In reply to: Peggy 's message, "Re: 12 years" on 18:51:17 10/08/00 Sun

I also was in a one-sided marriage for 19 years. He said he was a Christian but was very verbally abusive towards me and our son. I stayed because I was praying and hoping that things would change, and because I believed that somehow divorce was the worst possible things that could happen to anyone. Then last summer he had an affair and moved out, and the children (18 and 13) and I realized how much more happy and peaceful our home was without him. I am pursuing a divorce because he doesn't want to repent or change his woman-chasing ways, and I have been in prayer and in counseling with my pastor, and I truly believe that while divorce isn't God's first plan for a couple, He did make provision for it in the case of adultery. And I can't reconcile His "abundant life" with a life of misery and abuse for us. My pastor and my parents have all said that what is important is to forgive him, which doesn't mean saying that what he did was ok or not that bad, but releasing him from my judgment, which I am trying to do. And just because you forgive someone, you don't have to want them back in your life in the same relationship. Hang in there! Seek the Lord in prayer and spend lots of time in His Word and with other believers. God will direct you. Divorce is not the worst thing in the world. God is blessing me and my kids in ways I never would have dreamed possible. I wish that my marriage had worked out and that my husband had chosen to serve the Lord, but God is faithful to meet you where you are and make something beautiful and unique and exciting out of the rest of your life.

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