Help -- Christians and Divorce

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Date Posted: 13:03:38 09/12/00 Tue
Author: Denise
Subject: Help

Shortly, after a rough, going nowhere relationship with the father of my first child, I met a man whom I got saved through, and married two months later in court. I just wanted to get married a be a wife to someone, he was comforting at times. I never questioned my desperation.

I have been separate from my husband for 3 years. This, after having been bitterly attacked emotionally and physically, cheated on with a few women, made to support my children alone (he wouldn't go find a job), sleep on a mattress on the floor, and being without gas for the stove because of financial deficit. Even though I earned the money he would control how it was spent. I had to ask for my money to buy myself a bottle of perfume. I gave this man numerous chances. Going back and forth with him without change has almost but driven me crazy.

To keep my sanity and not end up at 50 with regrets I decided that it was time that I made a decision - no matter what my husband would say to change my mind. I,had to move on with my life. He seems to have gained a perspective on the wrong he has done. He proclaims to love me so much now, and tells everyone about me, when beforem - he use to deny me. He begs, pleads, even cries. He still doesnt have a job, doesnt look, and doesnt have a work history to get one with. He acts like he's afraid to pick up the newspaper.

Moreover, now that I've matured I don't have any love for him anymore. He could be a good friend but I cant dredge up any intimacy and can't stand to be touched by him. I spent so much time trying to gain acceptance and love from him in the beginning of the marriage, that I kept smothering the feelings that I had for him - that I didn't really feel like I loved him. He should have been a brother to me not a husband. Now his chances with me are even less because I enjoy being without him (without having once taken up company with another man). I just go to work and come home to care for my children. I feel at peace.

I'm afraid that if I give him another chance, I wont be able to love him, and I will have a hard time getting him out of the house. As it is, he never honored the separation and comes over to my house and meets me at my job when I ask him not too. I feel no peace when he is around because his life is like a whirlwind.

He said that if I divorce him I will be sinning against God and nothing will go right for me ever again. Me, I wanted more children and I'm afraid that I will never find anyone to love me again. That is why I'd go back - only. And because of God. But I feel no peace when I deal with him. I also feel sorry for him but I don't want that to influence my decision.

Can someone give me some advice.

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Replies:

Re: Help -- Psalmsong, 11:38:00 06/17/01 Sun
Re: Help -- Josh1:9, 20:21:41 06/19/01 Tue