I need some advice quickly -- Christians and Divorce

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Date Posted: 10:44:23 07/05/01 Thu
Author: Lynn
Subject: I need some advice quickly

I don't know what to do. I've really messed up big time.
All the way around. Last year I married my college sweetheart, whom I had not been around in 8 years. I sold my house, quit my job and left my family and moved 2500 hundred miles away to be with him. I knew he still loved me and I was totally in love with that fact, not so much him I think. But I wanted to be married so badly.
Well, he is providing for us financially through illegal means. Yes, I knew it when I married him, but of course, I was told he would quit and I thought I could ignore it. The more I got into the Word the worse I felt about my marriage and his lifestyle. But it's amazing even when we're trying to get closer to God how one sin can end up opening the door to another.
Anyway, despite our many conversations on how I felt about what he was doing I increasingly became more and more depressed and withdrawn. Despite having found a church here and throwing myself headfirst into the scriptures sin and temptation found their way into my life again. I ended up committing adultery. I feel absolutely horrible and it's tearing me apart inside. But I still want to pack it up and go back home. He says he'll quit, but together as a couple, I'm miserable and it's not fair to him. I don't know if he's cheated on me, but he told me that he stayed with an old girlfriend on a trip to see his son. He says nothing happened and his son was with him. The sad part about this is my mind has overridden my heart. I see things more clearly now. He's putting me in danger by doing what he's doing and I no longer want to be a part of his lifestyle. I was doing just fine by myself, plus I'm terribly terribly homesick. Being here, is doing me no good emotionally or physically. There are plenty more details to fill in but this is the short, condensed whole version. Please advise. I so want to serve God but I truly no longer want to be in my marriage. The guilt is eating me alive. I know God still loves me and forgives me. The only biblical grounds I have for divorce is the fact that I'm the one who committed the adultery. He's breaking the law, but it's me who's tormented daily for both his sin and mine. I'm also tormented because I know what I've done is wrong, but everyone says to forgive myself and say nothing to him about my part in all this. It would only hurt him more. So, therefore being the guiltier party, I feel like I should just go.

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Replies:

Re: I need some advice quickly -- Susan, 04:32:08 09/19/01 Wed