| Subject: Re: Hi Lena, this is emotional abuse. Also, anyone can change. Most people don't want to (click) |
Author:
Lena (resigned)
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Date Posted: 11:35:03 12/03/06 Sun
In reply to:
Dr. Tracy Kemble
's message, "Hi Lena, this is emotional abuse. Also, anyone can change. Most people don't want to (click)" on 07:37:43 12/01/06 Fri
>So Lena, you have some self work to do. I see that
>you are living in pain, and though you might think
>that this man is either your hope or your hell, the
>pain is first resting in you. You are in an abusive
>and not to mention, an abandoning relationship. It is
>abandoning because his pattern is to keep you at bay,
>and as long as you believe that he is not committing
>because of "you", then he is able to control the
>relationship. What if, he does not commit because of
>him? What if he is the one who has committment
>issues, or another family, or whatever reason he might
>have that is authentically keeping him from committing
>to you. Remember that all over the world, people are
>able to commit to eachother. The average time to
>commit is around 2 years. After that, if the
>relationship is not committed, you can assume that it
>will remain uncommitted for the duration of the
>relationship because it has now become a pattern. If
>you are comfortable with this - great! If however,
>you are not, it is time to do some work. Please take
>the abuse test. Get educated and most important,
>connect so that you can "remember" you are okay...
>Hope this helps
>
>Tracy
Well, I think you nailed it completely. It is what I already knew but to hear it from someone else is what I needed. I have not spoken of this with anyone else, have had no feedback, didn't want to put him down to others. He complains to his friends of me constantly, I think that they think I am a complete nutcase, yet when they meet me are confused because I do seem okay. Actually, I am more than okay, I am pretty good. Only this man, this man that I love, seems to think I am crazy and has led me to believe him. I've just allowed myself to be consumed by a man who has some major issues that are all over the map. I am 51 years old and have never been in love before this, after a 30 year marriage that was so unhappy....I truly do love this man but it is also a first for me and I have to look ahead, to see that there may be another who will cherish me without the judgements, without going away if I speak my mind. I am scarred by this relationship, there is no doubt of that but the wariness will serve me if I ever again become involved with a man. And thank you again for reinforcing what I already knew.....it has helped!
Lena
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