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Date Posted: 11:58:18 05/06/08 Tue
Author: andypandy
Author Host/IP: 161.112.232.17
Subject: Mornin' all
Work and life sucks, my bra strap broke and I scuffed my new shoes, I forgot my debit/credit cards and am suffering withdrawal symptoms because I can't go shopping, otherwise everything is fine and dandy today thanks very much *growl*
Here's a smutty joke:
SEX IN THE DARK
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.
Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.
After 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, passionate, romantic session, she turned on the lights.
She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one…
She went completely ballistic.
"You impotent bastard!!" She screamed at him, "how could you, you've been lying to me all of these years, you'd better explain yourself!"
The husband looked her straight in the eyes and said calmly,
"Sure, no problem, I'll explain the toy . . . If you'll explain the kids."
HA!!!
Have a good day folks
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Well, it's evening now, so I hope you got to kick back and relax! -- Gabismo, 20:11:40 05/06/08 Tue [1] (83.222.159.200)
And if not, here are some Chuck Norris jokes to cheer you up. ;-.)
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey, he chews bees.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
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Yes I did thanks, got a big surprise too......... -- andypandy, 21:33:43 05/06/08 Tue [1] (82.30.76.72)
Mike turned up unexpectedly just before lunchtime so I got a decent lunch at least!!
Like the Chuck jokes, very funny!!
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Oooh, how did that go? -- Gabismo, 22:04:24 05/06/08 Tue [1] (83.222.159.200)
I love Chuck Norris jokes, they're so silly and random.
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You'd have thought we were a new couple.......... -- andypandy, 22:13:55 05/06/08 Tue [1] (82.30.76.72)
just starting out y'know? I felt shy and awkward, couldn't believe how nervous I was, so scared of saying or doing the wrong thing, it was nice though to be near him again and I had a little cry when I got back to work, I'm all mixed up now though, I love him so much but the problems haven't gone away that was very clear to me, now my head is spinning.
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You two should form a society ... -- DZR, 01:31:26 05/07/08 Wed [1] (81.159.47.161)
The gabs and andy society of can't quite make your mind up whether you have a boyfriend or not!
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Or you know, the polyamorous society! -- Gabs, 06:24:18 05/07/08 Wed [1] (83.222.159.200)
I sort of like the idea of an open relationship right now.
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Yeah, those always work well! -- DZR, 12:27:44 05/07/08 Wed [1] (82.6.99.15)
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Well, I had a boyfriend again for a little while last night.......... -- andypandy, 08:21:56 05/07/08 Wed [1] (161.112.232.22)
he turned up after midnight
*sigh*
I know I know, doesn't solve anything
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Oops -- DZR, 12:31:06 05/07/08 Wed [1] (82.6.99.15)
Well, it's hardly like you're the first person to do that!
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Yeah I know........ -- andypandy, 13:20:29 05/07/08 Wed [1] (161.112.232.22)
It was a nice "oops" though
The girls in the office say I have an enigmatic smile on my face today, I'm sure I don't know what they mean!
It's amazing what a little rumpy pumpy can do for ya :-)
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