What can I say, my parents were hippies. -- The Sanctuary

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Date Posted: 20:44:10 12/08/08 Mon
Author: Gabs
Author Host/IP: 85.3.153.224
Subject: What can I say, my parents were hippies.
In reply to: DZR 's message, "More details!" on 20:18:03 12/08/08 Mon

Nah, they totally weren't. My Dad was born too early for that but he did grow up with the save the penny mentality and it rubbed off.

It's the same guy from last summer, if you remember. Basically it was just very confusing because of his mixed signals, so I was forced to accept that he's just not that into me, which would probably be a lot easier if I didn't like him more than any other guy in the world. :(

Oh man, that sucks. Awfully clingly, she must not have any pride at all! Did you write back? Please do, on behalf of all smitten women everywhere, otherwise you'll just prolong the pain!!! *dramatic sigh*

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[> [> [> [> Actually I don't think that she is being clingy or has no pride -- DZR, 21:46:49 12/08/08 Mon [1] (62.240.244.114)

We met in Marais and I took her to this amazing Italian coffe place (the best Marocchinos -- an espresso topped with a little foamed milk, served in a glass lined with basically very posh nutella). Then we went for a walk in the Marais and the market in the Village Saint-Paul at dusk, then I took her to this really cool bar I know in Montorgueill, and then we went to this sweet little bistro for dinner. During the entire time (about 5 hours) she never stopped talking -- I literally couldn't get a word in edgeways -- which wouldn't be so bad if she was talking about something interesting, but it was like her mouth was completely disconnected from her brain. She just went on and on about herself and her friends, and yet I can't really remember anything she said. She didn't once ask me anything at all about myself. Of course I was very polite, and nodded and smiled at all the right places, and paid for everything. I don't think she even noticed that I was bored. So from her perspective maybe she really did have a fantastic night, and was just thanking me and stuff.

I don't really know what to say. So far I've just been polite but non-committal. I hope she gets the hint. I'm far too polite to say "Basically I think you're incredibly good looking but you're a completely self-obsessed boring nincompoop, so I don't want to see you again."

I'm sorry you're still so hung up on the guy from the summer. Wasn't he a lot younger than you? My date was a lot younger than me. I think there can be problems when the differences in maturity are too wide, no matter how good all the other things are. I mean let's face it, he's an idiot to not want to go out with you.

P.S. How awesome are the dates I take people on?!

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[> [> [> [> [> I'm just the opposite when I go out with someone......... -- andypandy, 22:23:03 12/08/08 Mon [1] (82.30.76.72)

I'm so nosy I want to know everything about them and hardly ever say anything about myself unless they ask me directly then I'll open up a little. I think you're right about the age gap, I've been seeing someone a lot younger and while its certainly fun in some areas in others not so much. And yes that date you took her on sounds wonderful!!

Gabs, the guy must be mad, we have to come up with some strategy to make him realise what an awesome catch you would be!!

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[> [> [> [> [> [> I'm through with scheming! -- Gabs, 19:26:27 12/09/08 Tue [1] (85.3.139.28)

It only gets me more tangled up and I just want to forget. Someone else will have to deal with the awesome yet high-maintenace catch that is me! ;)

I'm also extremely curious on dates. Or you know, just in general. :)

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[> [> [> [> [> Your dates sound awesome! -- Gabs, 19:23:08 12/09/08 Tue [1] (85.3.139.28)

Throw in a concert and/or a good movie and it'd be like the best date ever. It sounds fairly pricey too, veeeery nice of you to pick up the tab. Maybe she did notice, and that just made her appreciate it all more. Too bad it wasn't as fantastic for you as it was for her, I hope she gets the message.

Yeah, he was a few years younger. Initially I didn't think the age difference was a big hindrance, he seemed mature in most aspects but he was adamant about not wanting a relationship even though he would tell me that we were like Sartre and Beauvoir and he knew perfectly well what kind of effect that would have on me and I suppose he meant it at the time but in the end I guess his silly principles won out. Guess I just didn't interest him enough. He's no idiot, he's one of the smartest people I know but I do wish he hadn't led me on, even if it wasn't intentional. And I wish I could finally get over him!

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[> [> [> [> [> [> Sartre was short and really ugly! -- DZR, 20:28:13 12/09/08 Tue [1] (62.240.244.114)

Good novelist and playwright, not so hot a philosopher IMHO. And they had kinda an icky relationship -- you know they adopted at least one of their joint mistresses? He may have known exactly what it meant to describe a relationship as being like Sartre and de Beauvoir, and it might not be quite as nice or romantic as you thought. There was something distinctly ugly about their relationship, the openness of it and they way they treated their conquests. If you want a little break from your studies here are some links:

A shorter piece in The Literary Review:
http://www.literaryreview.co.uk/tindall_04_08.html

A longer piece, but better, in The New Yorker:
http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2005/09/26/050926crbo_books

That said, I think if someone says outright that they don't want a relationship it's not really fair to then claim they led you on. He's twenty, right? I wouldn't have wanted a girlfriend when I was twenty either (I'm not so sure whether I want one now).

As for the date, I love going to concerts and the movies, but not for a first date. I want to be able to talk to the person and get to know them, although in this last instance less talking would have been preferable!

I picked up the tab because she earns a lot less than me and it only seemed fair. If someone earned more or less the same as me I wouldn't necessarily pay for the whole thing.

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> No, I think we both knew. -- Gabs, 21:03:09 12/09/08 Tue [1] (85.3.139.28)

We initially bonded over philosophy and literature (we both preferred Camus to Sartre actually). S and B's relationship was something we'd discussed before and we admitted to being curious about open relationships. It's partly why I feel somewhat led on, he'd say one thing and then another. Like I said, mixed signals.

I don't know how it was waaaay back in your day but plenty of 20 year olds have relationships nowadays! ;p

Sounds like your second dates are fun as well. :)

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Cheeky sod! -- DZR, 21:49:00 12/09/08 Tue [1] (82.132.136.213)

Ok, point taken, 20 year olds also have relationships. I may be seeing my own past through present day more cynical lenses.

I can see how some aspects of S & Bs' relationship are appealing, but the more I've found out about those two the more they repulse me.

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