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Date Posted: 08:20:02 10/04/11 Tue
Author: Kathy
Author Host/IP: NoHost / 50.41.206.244
Subject: Well, they have put a plan in place
In reply to: Jenn 's message, "How did it go, Kathy?" on 00:29:30 10/04/11 Tue

When the principal called Cameron's mother on Friday, she said that they were probably going to be moving back to the school district that they came from. Cameron's mom said she wasn't sure that Cameron would be back this week. They were given the choice, if Cameron returned, to serve two Saturday schools or to go to PASS for three days. PASS is a very restrictive school for kids who have had behavior problems. Cameron did come back on Monday, but I don't know what he decided to do. My thinking was he shouldn't have been given a choice. He should have been taken out of the school.

Cameron is in all of the same classes as Matt, except band. The principal offered to change Cameron's class schedule so that he would not be in Matt's classes. I told her I would like that, but in the meantime I would like the teachers to be notified that Cameron is not to be anywhere near Matt in the classroom. He is not to sit near Matt. He is not to work with Matt on any projects, etc.

Matt said that most of the problems happen in the locker room. The principal said the gym teacher had mentioned that he planned to have one of the boys change in the bathroom instead of the locker room. The principal noted that she hates to have the "victim" be the one to have to leave so she suspected Cameron would be going to a different place to change for gym.

I told the principal that Matt told me that he had moved the boys clothes around in the locker room because "that is the only way I could think of to get back at them". He said he is picked on almost every day in the locker room. I told the principal that Matt felt like he had no way to defend himself. I also told her that I had given Matt permission to protect himself in any way possible if he is ever aggressively attacked like that again. I told her that despite what the handbook says about anyone engaging in a fight being in trouble, my child would NOT be in trouble for defending himself.

Because Matt is not a fighter I don't think he would actually do anything, but I wanted him to know that if he had to, mom and dad would be there to back him up.

Matt internalizes everything. Instead of striking out he gets very angry and shuts down. He will not cooperate or talk about it. The principal said she will notify the teachers to watch Matt for signs of him shutting down and to send him to her or the counselor so he can talk about what may have caused it.

I told Matt that he needs to tell a teacher or an adult when anything is going on. I told him he has to do it for himself and his friends.

I will be checking on our school's bullying policy. There is a superintendent's meeting this week that I plan to bring this up at. I just feel like kids in our school are not given any options to stand up for themselves against the bullies, without the risk of getting in trouble too. That needs to change.

I'll be checking with Matt when he gets home today to see how many of the planned actions were actually put into place.

Thanks for checking.

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[> [> [> [> [> Sounds better... -- suek, 08:30:48 10/04/11 Tue [1] (NoHost/12.174.118.19)

than what they did for M@ back then. When he was in 2nd grade, 3 bullies picked him up and threw him in the outfield during recess baseball. He came home very quiet. He went to PSR and then when I went to talk with him afterwards in his room, he cringed from me! It took some major time and consoling and cajoling, but he eventually told me what happened. The brilliant counselor decided to have them all in a room together (with her) and be a 'circle of friends' and talk about it, and made the bullies promise not to do it again. Thankfully they were young enough (note he was a year younger than his grade peers) and listened. But I was mortified that that was how it was handled!

Then in middle school one kid he'd known since 2nd grade kept picking on him so M@ hauled off and punched him, breaking his pinky! No teacher involvement in that one, but thankfully that stopped too. Sigh.

Good luck - I sure hope you get resolution and he feels comfortable again.


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