| Subject: Beauty is in the eyes of ...Donald Trump? |
Author:
Bob
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Date Posted: 12/22/06 01:37:21
The President calls for an increased military, a motorcycle-riding Santa-look-alike with Rudolph in a sidecar kidnaps a child, but the talk of Arcadia is Miss USA getting a second chance.
Every conversation begins: How did Donald Trump come to "own" the most beautiful woman in the United States?
He bought the pageant, that's how.
The whole thing was up for grabs and Trump had the deep pockets to buy it. If he and the Seminole Tribe keep it up, they'll own much of America in a few decades.
But I digress.
Tara Conner, a striking, small-town Kentucky woman, almost lost her title because of alleged underage drinking in New York City. She just turned 21, so any drinking done before this past Monday was illegal.
Imagine. Conner is a beautiful, grown woman. But here she was on TV, sobbing about her sin. And there was The Donald, saying the pretty young thing deserved a second chance. What a big heart that man has.
So what does this have to do with Arcadia? Why are we so interested?
As if I need to ask.
Arcadia likely has more beauty pageants than any place on earth. We are Weekly Beauty Pageant Central. We deserve a place in the Guinness Book of Records. We have everything from a Watermelon Queen to Miss Arcadia herself.
A trophy on every mantel. That's our credo.
We have baby beauties, kiddie beauties, teen beauties and adult beauties. We even have categories for beauties up to age 99 (not sure what happens after a beauty turns 100, although at least one pageant even included those 100-plus years).
There's even the Hometown Hottie competition. For men. Honest.
Beauty pageants are such a big deal that perhaps the Trump fiasco should cause a rethinking of contest judges. Ask any loser how the winner was chosen and chances are your ears will burn about "insider" favoritism.
That might or might not be true. Who really knows?
We already use judges from outside the county most of the time, so a local father can't vote his anorexic daughter Miss DeSoto County.
But any appearance of favoritism is reason enough to elect circuit pageant judges. We'll call them Judges of the 12th Beauticial Circuit.
They will compete for the job during primary and general elections.
They'll run district-wide and we'll want to know their qualifications, which must go beyond "Ah just luv pretty girls."
Heck, this might get out the vote for less interesting races for, say, the House of Representatives. Charlotte Sun-Herald, Charlotte, FL, USA, 21.12.06
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