You've got a good start, Dave! -- Schick Happens

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Date Posted: 10:21:29 05/10/07 Thu
Author:

JulieR
Subject: You've got a good start, Dave!
In reply to: JulieR 's message, "Being supportive of Schick-Shadel attendees (was "How do I help??")" on 09:56:31 05/10/07 Thu

It's wonderful that you're being supportive of your loved one's attendance at SS. So many folks don't have a good environment to go back to, so you've got a great start for her just by asking.

Just being there for her when she needs to talk as she goes through the process is a wonderful thing. She'll likely be going through a lot of emotional swings as her stay progresses, and will need you to be a good listening ear. Remember that sometimes (especially with many women, and yes, I know I'm generalizing) she'll just need to know she's being listened to and *heard* - she doesn't necessarily need for you to actually solve the difficulties she's detailing. Offer suggestions, but don't feel bad that you can't fix it all for her. Fixing yourself is part of the recovery.

You can make your home a safe place for her return - that's a BIG thing many folks have to do on their own, and it can be a daunting task. I would suggest that, if you intend to drink alcohol after she's back, that you rethink that decision. It would probably be best if you didn't. Most people who graduate from SS have a *very* strong aversion to alcohol after they get out and literally cannot stand the taste, smell, odor, and even the sight of it. To the point of being very, very nauseous.

To be supportive of her aversion - and her newly developed aversion is the point of going to Schick-Shadel - I would recommend getting rid of any alcohol you have in your home. It's the safest thing to do, and shows your love and support. (While some people graduate and can still be around alcohol afterward with no problem, I think it's safest to simply better not have it there.)

On another matter... if the two of you share a home and she usually does the housecleaning, I can tell you from experience that if she comes back and finds your home tidy, well-managed, and spickandspan clean that it'll be a load off her back. I've heard more than once from women at group meetings express their worry about what the house will look like when they get back home. It might seem like a small thing, but really, it's not. To show your support by keeping your home clean while she's away (and continuing to help with it afterward) is a huge thing.

There are a lot of ways you can show your support, and the above is just the beginning. :)

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Replies:

Re: You've got a good start, Dave! -- Nanette, 09:17:58 05/13/07 Sun