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Subject: funny

Author:
funny shit

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Date Posted: 12:54:36 12/12/12 Wed

Subject: Copied from SBCC board -Funny

Author:
Forward Observer
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Date Posted: 11:54:14 03/12/09 Thu

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You might have been in Corrections too long if:
1. You have the bladder capacity of five people.
2. You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.
3. You believe at least 50% of people are a waste of skin.
4. Your idea of a good time is a cell entry at shift change.
5. You do a strip search on anyone who seems remotely friendly towards you.
6. Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal.
7. You find humor in other people's stupidity.
8. You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.
9. Your idea of comforting an inmate is placing him in full bed restraints.
10. You believe that "shallow gene pool" is sufficient grounds for a conduct
report.
11. You believe the government should require extensive testing and permits
prior to reproduction.
12. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, it
sure is quiet around here."
13. Your diet consists of food that has gone through more processing than a
computer can track.
14. You believe chocolate is a food group.
15. You have contemplated holding a seminar titled "SUICIDE - Getting It Right
The First Time."
16. You believe that "Too stupid to live" is a valid verdict.
17. You have to put the phone down before you begin laughing uncontrollably.
18. You think caffeine should be available in IV form.
19. Your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion.
20. When you mention "vegetables," you are not referring to the food group.
21. It occurs to you one night that you really have entered, "The Twilight
Zone."
22. You find out a lot about paranoia just by following inmates around.
23. You're escorting a smurf to clinical and find yourself carrying on an
intelligent conversation with him.
24. You believe it's not a good riot unless it involves overtime.
25. You are the only person introduced by profession at a social gathering.
26. You walk into places and people think it highly comical to seize a co-worker
and shout, "They've come to get you Frank!"
27. People shout, "I didn't do it!" when you walk into the room in uniform and
they think they are being hysterically funny and original.
28. You believe in involuntary sterilization.
29. You had to work 18 years to earn what the rookies are starting at now.
30. When you mention "Bugs", you are not referring to insects.

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: funny (NT)	Who cares about this CRAP	21:07:53 12/16/12 Sun