Re: Zeitgeistmovie -- The PM Refugees' Forum

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Date Posted: 19:29:27 09/17/07 Mon
Author: Paul S.
Subject: Re: Zeitgeistmovie
In reply to: Johnny Reb 's message, "Re: Zeitgeistmovie" on 11:35:45 09/17/07 Mon

>
>well, you wanted to hear my story. after having been
>shit into this world at the end of the nineteenfifties
>i grew up in a "christian" postwar family where i made
>experiences which made me lose all trust in my parents
>and my faith in their god at an early age. later, back
>in 1980, i lived and worked in southeast asia where i
>experienced terrible scenes in the refugee camps. i
>was a hardcore atheist by then and especially the
>first-hand reality of atrocities committed by humans
>destroyed what was left over of my last belief in
>mankind.
>
>one day, my landlord invited me to her husband's
>birthday party where i was the only foreigner amongst
>locals, a great honor to me. their estate was way out
>of town, almost one hour by car away from where i
>lived. after having spent an amusing afternoon and
>night of eating (way too much), drinking (little) and
>discussions (many) with those friendly people i
>decided to return home. it was dawning.
>
>i entered the taxi which i had ordered in a relaxed
>mood. but the hours of pleasure i had just spent
>couldn't wipe out what i had seen within these last
>months. i and my hosts lived in a (comparedly) secure
>world compared to the hapless humans which had been
>vicimized by the wars and its aftermath. i understood
>that i was privileged and already had had very much
>luck in my troubled young life.
>
>we were driving straight into the sun when it came up
>like a huge orange ball. the road was almost clear of
>traffic. then i spotted a lonely buddhist monk in his
>orange robe walking on the shoulder of the road,
>barefoot. we had just passed him when i felt the
>strong urge to thank somebody for all the luck i had
>had in life so far. i made the driver stop immediately
>and wait for me to return.
>
>i walked back a few hundred yards and approached the
>monk from behind. i called "excuse me, sir!" in the
>local language as i had no idea how to adress such a
>man. i just knew that the locals respect these monks
>very much. although i did not exactly believe in
>buddhism i had the feeling that it would do no harm to
>him or myself to give him a donation as the locals do.
>
>i just wanted to thank somebody, and this man seemed
>the right representative of a non-destructive and
>non-missionizing religion to me.
>
>he turned around and looked me in the eye, a little
>surprised, with a very quiet, kind and deep look. i
>hardly dared to get closer. i bowed low to him because
>i felt a power, a positive authority which he exuded
>which i could neither explain nor elude. i felt my
>tears come and did not know why.
>
>he put forth his hand with a little tray, much like a
>small tambourine. i grabbed in my pocket and pulled
>out all the bills i had. it was the equivalent of
>roughly one hundred dollars which i put on the tray
>without hesitation.
>
>unlike many of the locals who want to "bribe" the
>monks, i.e. to pay them to pray for them that these
>and those things will go right, i just wanted to show
>my gratitude. it was not his obligation to accept the
>donation; i was expected to thank him if he would.
>
>it is very difficult to describe what it was what i
>suddenly felt. i experienced a strange physical
>sensation when i got that close to the monk. as if he
>eradiated something, a strong current came over my
>whole body like a wave. it was as if he warmed my
>inner self with sunshine. i was overwhelmed, with
>emotions and this physical sensation.
>
>he looked me straight in the eyes while he took my
>donation. upon that i felt a rush of joy so strong i
>could have embraced him and the whole world. i thanked
>him with another low bow in the traditional local
>manner. he smiled in a very calm way. i turned around
>because i felt my tears come up again and walked back
>to the taxi. i felt like my soul had slipped into a
>warm bathtub.
>
>by the way, i have paid the taxi driver upon arrival
>after fetching money from home. :-)
>
>i have never forgotten this experience and i have read
>quite some scriptures over the years but more out of
>general interest as i am curious. a few years ago i
>underwent a psychotherapy after i had tried to kill
>myself after having been abandoned in a vicious manner
>by my partner. my therapist had her own spiritual base
>in zen-buddhism which reflects in her style of
>therapy, and i learnt a lot about myself, so much that
>i am stabile now.

Johnny, you've led a fascinating life and been so many places that most of us have only read about. I've read some of your stuff, but have you ever considered writing an autobiography? (And no... it isn't a book about cars...heheheh)

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Replies:

Re: Zeitgeistmovie -- Johnny Reb, 17:06:15 09/18/07 Tue