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Subject: Before A Breath Can Be Taken


Author:
Bobby
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Date Posted: 18:43:35 01/07/08 Mon

Before A Breath Can Be Taken


The day after
we got pregnant,
she wanted the abortion

her catholic upbringing
wouldn’t allow.
She passed the clinic

every day on her way
to the liquor store.
She wouldn’t stop.

Guns fire bullets,
cigarettes smoke,
blood turns blue,

the sky falls.
Each day breaks
with silent regret,

of the night before.
It wouldn’t stop.
At nine months

to the day,
his time has come.
Tunnels are so dark,

there’s no turning back
now, the sickly cord
pulls tight around his neck.

Helpless,
the only thing I can do
is hold my breath.



Bobby
2oo8

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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: Before A Breath Can Be Taken


Author:
andy
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Date Posted: 19:37:34 01/07/08 Mon



Tight poem that visits the darkness
with a haunting close. I love that
you used "WE" when refering to pregnancy.

thanks,
andy

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[> Subject: Re: Before A Breath Can Be Taken


Author:
Janel
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Date Posted: 21:18:18 01/07/08 Mon

Very powerful and profound write Bobby, was holding my breath with you as I got to the end. Well done my friend.

Huggs
Janel

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[> Subject: Re: Before A Breath Can Be Taken


Author:
Darkerside of light
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Date Posted: 00:34:45 01/08/08 Tue

to say a gripping pen would be an understatement

DSL

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[> Subject: Re: Before A Breath Can Be Taken


Author:
Arunansu
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Date Posted: 02:24:31 01/08/08 Tue

I agree with Andy. The use of "We" has made it more powerful. In awe with the piece.
Cheers.

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[> Subject: Re: Before A Breath Can Be Taken


Author:
Max Hardy
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Date Posted: 14:02:33 01/08/08 Tue

Hello Bobby

The real world implications of the night before brought into stark focus here, poigniant and hitting hard. And I have to agree with the 'WE'.

Max

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[> Subject: Re: Before A Breath Can Be Taken


Author:
Sasha
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Date Posted: 19:13:59 01/08/08 Tue




~ awwww precious baby boy enters the world

such a rough start, before seeing daylight
but I bet he brings the world a lot of beauty with every breath

this absolutely rocks, Bobby...sooo powerful!!!!

*kiwi hugs*

Sash xx

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


.

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[> Subject: Re: Before A Breath Can Be Taken


Author:
AnneMarie
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Date Posted: 13:27:36 01/10/08 Thu

You definitely reach the soul with this one. Fantastic job~You're brilliant.

Hugs,
AnneMarie*clapping*

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[> Subject: Re: Before A Breath Can Be Taken


Author:
Good Knight
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Date Posted: 09:11:13 01/11/08 Fri

Depth of pen and theme written with much heart

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[> Subject: Re: Before A Breath Can Be Taken


Author:
Bobby
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Date Posted: 16:52:48 01/11/08 Fri

Much thanks to each of you for the read and taking time to comment. I am getting a bit more confortable here and love all the great stuff to see and read here. You guys rock!

Peace and love
Bobby

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