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Subject: Before A Breath Can Be Taken | |
Author: Bobby | [ Next Thread |
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] Date Posted: 18:43:35 01/07/08 Mon Before A Breath Can Be Taken The day after we got pregnant, she wanted the abortion her catholic upbringing wouldn’t allow. She passed the clinic every day on her way to the liquor store. She wouldn’t stop. Guns fire bullets, cigarettes smoke, blood turns blue, the sky falls. Each day breaks with silent regret, of the night before. It wouldn’t stop. At nine months to the day, his time has come. Tunnels are so dark, there’s no turning back now, the sickly cord pulls tight around his neck. Helpless, the only thing I can do is hold my breath. Bobby 2oo8 [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
[> Subject: Re: Before A Breath Can Be Taken | |
Author: andy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 19:37:34 01/07/08 Mon Tight poem that visits the darkness with a haunting close. I love that you used "WE" when refering to pregnancy. thanks, andy [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
[> Subject: Re: Before A Breath Can Be Taken | |
Author: Janel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 21:18:18 01/07/08 Mon Very powerful and profound write Bobby, was holding my breath with you as I got to the end. Well done my friend. Huggs Janel [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
[> Subject: Re: Before A Breath Can Be Taken | |
Author: Darkerside of light [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 00:34:45 01/08/08 Tue to say a gripping pen would be an understatement DSL [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
[> Subject: Re: Before A Breath Can Be Taken | |
Author: Arunansu [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 02:24:31 01/08/08 Tue I agree with Andy. The use of "We" has made it more powerful. In awe with the piece. Cheers. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
[> Subject: Re: Before A Breath Can Be Taken | |
Author: Max Hardy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 14:02:33 01/08/08 Tue Hello Bobby The real world implications of the night before brought into stark focus here, poigniant and hitting hard. And I have to agree with the 'WE'. Max [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
[> Subject: Re: Before A Breath Can Be Taken | |
Author: Sasha [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 19:13:59 01/08/08 Tue ~ awwww precious baby boy enters the world such a rough start, before seeing daylight but I bet he brings the world a lot of beauty with every breath this absolutely rocks, Bobby...sooo powerful!!!! *kiwi hugs* Sash xx ![]() . [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
[> Subject: Re: Before A Breath Can Be Taken | |
Author: AnneMarie [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 13:27:36 01/10/08 Thu You definitely reach the soul with this one. Fantastic job~You're brilliant. Hugs, AnneMarie*clapping* [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
[> Subject: Re: Before A Breath Can Be Taken | |
Author: Good Knight [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 09:11:13 01/11/08 Fri Depth of pen and theme written with much heart [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
[> Subject: Re: Before A Breath Can Be Taken | |
Author: Bobby [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 16:52:48 01/11/08 Fri Much thanks to each of you for the read and taking time to comment. I am getting a bit more confortable here and love all the great stuff to see and read here. You guys rock! Peace and love Bobby [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |