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Subject: The manly thing


Author:
Darkerside of light
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Date Posted: 06:18:47 01/23/08 Wed

The manly thing


I should just kissed you
I should just hold you tight
Forget who we are
Forget where we are
I should just look you in the eyes
Repair your soul
Making you whole

I kind screwed up
Mouth went one way
The eyes the other
Heart did a runner
My whole damned spirit was desperate for any kind of cover

She said look at me
I said but
She said shut up!
I had lost my undercarriage
I found myself looking into the void
By this time I had well and truly lost my undercarriage
Not one single word of any sense could I manage

I said
Yes
If
How
You know
I did manage to spit out the word shallow

She said
Shut up
Look at me
Through glazed eyes
I did so try
With every bit of strength that I could
Probably not really saying what I should
Wanting to find a quiet corner
So that I may lay down and die

DSL

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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: The manly thing


Author:
Arunansu
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Date Posted: 06:38:13 01/23/08 Wed

Oh, the passion oozes out, DSL! A 'lively' read, for sure.
Cheers.

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[> [> Subject: Re: The manly thing


Author:
darkerside of light
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Date Posted: 06:21:05 01/25/08 Fri

Hi Arunansu

It's a dangerouse place out there, It's no wonder it's called the meat market!......lol inspired partly by my youth.

DSL

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[> Subject: Re: The manly thing


Author:
Jess
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Date Posted: 11:23:06 01/23/08 Wed

Very passionate and powerful DSL. Arguments are miserable.

More of these gems!

Jess

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[> [> Subject: Re: The manly thing


Author:
darkerside of light
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Date Posted: 06:24:31 01/25/08 Fri

Hi Jess

this poem is partly inspired by my lost youth and the holly wood film factor against reality.

Cheers

DSL

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[> Subject: Re: The manly thing


Author:
Sasha
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Date Posted: 17:20:03 01/23/08 Wed



~ wow...communication wasn't their strong point then eh? *wink*

I like how this one plays out...
one trying to speak but stumbling on their thoughts
while the other one just wants to hear the words...

some times it's just not easy is it?

a great capture of this awkward scene, Mark


*hugs*

Sash xx


Photobucket


.

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[> Subject: Re: The manly thing


Author:
darkerside of light
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Date Posted: 06:31:05 01/25/08 Fri

Hi Sash

you could say the Guy was having a JCB moment in the hole digging.
And the lady is doing every thing pos to keep the poor sod focused but by then only thing left for him was the honestly policy.

DSL

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[> Subject: Re: The manly thing


Author:
Paul
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Date Posted: 16:28:01 01/25/08 Fri

Mark,

Everytime I read you I can imagine it being a live read.Such is the human element in your work that it strikes very definite chords in the heart,

Peace and hope,

Paul.

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[> Subject: Re: The manly thing


Author:
Stormheart
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Date Posted: 18:57:34 01/25/08 Fri

Very nicely done! One can feel the awkwardness of the moment creeping through the lines as they're read...Most excellent way to draw the reader into the moment!

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[> Subject: Re: The manly thing


Author:
Bobby
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Date Posted: 03:05:16 01/26/08 Sat

Powerful stuff here. Enjoyed the passion you captured!

Smiles!
Bobby

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[> Subject: Re: The manly thing


Author:
AnneMarie
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Date Posted: 06:37:07 01/26/08 Sat

I like how the pov volleys. Great job, thanks for sharing.

Hugs,
AnneMarie

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