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| [ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, [8], 9, 10 ] |
| Subject: Surgery for beginners. | |
Author: Paul | [ Next Thread |
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] Date Posted: 02:58:53 01/09/08 Wed This is the tale of Tommy Jones, An ambitious young man from Clovelly, Who wanted to be a surgeon, After he had seen it on the telly, So Tommy set off for some knowledge, To the library he did trot, “ A beginners guide to operations”, Was the useful book he got, Tommy read, it every page, Then he asked his uncle Jim, If the old fella would let his nephew, Practice the basics upon him, Tommy made anaesthetic, From some sleeping pills he found, Gave the old man quite a few, Until he was sleeping safe and sound, Then he prepared the dining room, With the help of his Aunty Mabel, They stripped the old guy to his undies, Before they laid him on the table, So it was they started off, Tom had to make the decision, He took his Aunties carving knife, As he made the first incision, “In for a penny, in for a pound”, He opened his Uncle up wide, Amazed at the wobbly-wobbly bits, Packed up so neatly inside, “LOOK!” He cried to Aunty, As he pulled out a liver and spleen, “That’s nice dear”, She replied politely, Trying to keep her tablecloth clean, Tommy continued removing, His Uncles internal array, Laying them out on the sideboard, In a very nice organ display, Aunty was getting quite anxious, “ You’d better get tidied for tea”, “Put uncle Jim back together”, “Then lay up the table for me”, So Tommy scooped up the innards, Put them back as best as he knew, Aunty stitched up the old man, Until Tommy announced, ”That’ll do!” They tucked the old man into his bed, Then retired for cake and jelly, Several cups of lovely tea, Watched some wildlife on the telly, Yet as they cleared up after tea, “ What’s this?” Asked Aunty Mabel, Something rather squishy, Was nestled beneath the table, “Blimey!” Tommy gasped in shock, Quickly looking up the part, “Sorry Aunty”, He admitted then, “ I think it’s uncles heart”, “ No wonder he was quiet?” Aunty pondered with some sorrow, “Not to worry Tommy lad”, “ Pop it back in tomorrow!” © Paul Osborne 2008 [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: Surgery for beginners. | |
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Author: Darkerside of light [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 03:17:55 01/09/08 Wed Hi Paul I don't know how or where you get this from please don't ever stop I beg a superb pen of timming and writing DSL [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Arunansu [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 04:30:05 01/09/08 Wed Ok Paul, reading your poem has given Me enough encouragement to do some surgery myself! As a token of love, I'll operate on your brain, take the grey matter out, and put it inside mine. All of this would be done free, but the offer is open upto Valentine's Day only. LOL. Loved that, Madly! [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Lily [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 18:46:14 01/09/08 Wed “No wonder he was quiet?“ Aunty pondered with some sorrow, “Not to worry Tommy lad”, “ Pop it back in tomorrow!” I said i'd give up on saying this this year, but one more time -- LMAO ! Grinned and giggled all the way through Pauly, that ending is funny as (a cracked pomlet) :) ~Lily [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Mick [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 21:42:27 01/09/08 Wed and life goes on... enjoyed this one Paul. well done as always. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Paul [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11:25:16 01/10/08 Thu ~ ya know what's so funny, Paulie? is hearing you read this one to me when ya wrote it, you sounded so serious, but I still could see you pulling a Benny Hill face as you read it, and THAT added to THIS poem and I couldn't help but crack up...LOL love whatcha do, hon *hugs* Sash xx  . [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: AnneMarie [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11:45:00 01/10/08 Thu Rotflmao...too much Paul, really. You are hysterical! Makes me wonder about the makings of you mind tho~ Soo funny, thanks for the laugh. Hugs, AnneMarie [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Mireille [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 14:05:39 01/15/08 Tue Lol !! tis gore but so funny, Paul. Really love it. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Stormheart [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 16:36:31 01/15/08 Tue Hmmmm....I think something got warped somewhere along the lines! LOLOL! This was just TOO funny! I loved every line! [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: andy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 19:02:08 01/15/08 Tue Paul, Your wit is admirable but, the gift of laughter you bring to the table is something to be chrished. No put ons, no trying to make sure every line is metered and telling some boring story. You just go at the storyline in such a natural, readable way that your poetry can not help but come alive. Just love this! thanks, andy [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |