| Subject: Is your name Gossip? c/i |
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Date Posted: 08:16:37 01/26/09 Mon
Gossip is idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others. It forms one of the oldest and most common means of sharing (unproven) facts and views, but also has a reputation for the introduction of errors and other variations into the information thus transmitted. The term also carries implications that the news so transmitted (usually) has a personal or trivial nature, as opposed to normal conversation.
My Name Is Gossip
Many people consider gossip to be a harmless pastime. What about you?
by Janet Treadway
My Name Is Gossip. I have no respect for justice. I maim without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives. I am cunning and malicious and gather strength with age.
The more I am quoted the more I am believed. I flourish at every level of society. My victims are helpless. They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name and no face.
To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I become. I am nobody's friend. Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same. I topple governments and ruin marriages. I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartache and indigestion. I spawn suspicion and generate grief.
I make innocent people cry in their pillows. Even my name hisses.
I AM CALLED GOSSIP
President Reagan's first Labor Secretary, Raymond Donavan, resigned from his post after numerous rumors that he'd done wrong. After spending more than a million dollars in legal fees to defend himself, Donovan was cleared of all charges. Coming out of the courtroom to talk to reporters, he asked: "Where do I go to get my reputation back?"
Gossip also hurts the gossiper. According to psychiatrist Antonio Wood, when you speak ill of someone, you alienate yourself from that person. Say bad things about many people and your words will separate you from them.
Guilt is an emotion we feel when we know in our hearts that it is wrong to slander and talk about someone behind his or her back. Have you ever tried to look someone in the eye after you have talked about him or her behind his or her back?
Guilt also comes when we don't follow the biblical principle that says, "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother" (Matthew 18:15). Gossip may be fun for a moment, but in the end it will only produce hurt, guilt and pain. So how can we avoid gossip?
How can we avoid gossiping?
Seek a repentant and clean heart from God so you'll have the power to resist talking negatively about others. Take a look at the attitudes you hold and the comments you make. Examine why you are tempted to speak negatively and pray for God to give you the strength to confront and overcome those temptations. Confess the times you've gossiped or criticized in the past, and invite God to transform you. Release any pride or fear that is obstructing you from making the changes you would like, and be open to God's correction and guidance.
Pray for people you have hurt—either purposely or inadvertently by speaking negatively about them. Ask God to heal them. Also pray for people who have hurt you in the past through their negative words about you. Forgive them and ask God to let them be aware of His loving presence with them.
Pray for God to give you wisdom in such situations. James 1:5 says, "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him." We can ask God to help us resist being pulled into negative conversations. How can we do this?
When someone approaches us and begins talking negatively about someone, we can try to determine the speaker's motivation and encourage accountability by asking questions such as, "Is this something I need to hear about?" "Who told you this information?" "Have you spoken to those people who are directly involved with this situation?" FPRIVATE "TYPE=PICT;ALT=Girls talking"
and "Before you share any further, what are you expecting from me?"
Use powerful positive words to heal when confronted with destructive, negative words. Respond to gossip or criticism with encouraging words about the person being talked about. As Ephesians 4:29 explains, "Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear" (NRSV).
Think. Another key to positive communication is to subscribe to the simple formula "THINK" before speaking of any person or subject that is controversial.
T--Is it True?
H--Is it Helpful?
I--Is it Inspiring?
N--Is it Necessary?
K--Is it Kind?
If what we are about to say does not pass these tests, we should keep our mouths shut.
Finally, remember the little saying that tells us what kind of minds we have: Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.
The apostle Paul provides a key for incorporating these concepts, saying, "Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things" (Philippians 4:8, NRSV). By applying his instruction, gossip can be stopped. Let us all strive to use the power of our words for healing. YU
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