| Subject: Re: Patchwork families |
Author:
Chiara
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Date Posted: 15:37:23 05/04/18 Fri
In reply to:
Kayla
's message, "Re: Patchwork families" on 02:19:58 04/28/18 Sat
Hallo Kayla, I'm from a place where spanking is not allowed any more, but I spent a year abroad as an exchange student and got spanked there just like my host sisters. I was already 15 and it was hard at first, but I got used to it and when I look back I am really grateful for the experience. Not sure whether this helps you, but I don't think 10/11 is too old to start. I like what you write about self-confidence. I don't stop here often, but feel free to write if you want to share thoughts.
Best of luck,
Chiara
>Hi again and thanks for both comments. For sure, my
>boyfriend's the one who would have to explain the
>change and it can only ever work if he'll have my back
>on this. He's optimistic about it, but he doesn't have
>actual experience with spanking (or even getting
>spanked), so my advice is important to him and I still
>feel unsure. I'm not at all saying that 10/11 is too
>old to get spanked, just that it might be too old to
>start getting spanked. When it comes to explaining
>such a change, I agree that the fairness aspect is
>something that kids will instantly grasp, but from
>their point of view the easier solution to that would
>be to stop spanking my own daughter. Briefly the extra
>info that Uwe asked for: my daughter is 9, she gets it
>about 2 or 3 times a month, I use only the slipper,
>but I use it hard and fast, so we are not just talking
>about some light swats. The aim is to teach her
>obedience and responsibility, but also endurance and
>the self-confidence that comes with knowing you have
>it. I can already see signs of that in her and I worry
>it might go away if I stop spanking her already. I've
>seen my boyfriend's kids most weekends during the past
>five months, and I think they accept me, the girl
>openly, the boy hiding it behind a cool "whatever"
>attitude. Their mom died from complications during
>childbirth, so they don't really miss her in terms of
>conscious memories of her, but my impression is that
>they miss having a mom. They had nannies, but that's
>not the same, and having me around won't be the same
>either. They are both healthy and sensible kids.
>Anyway, I'd love to read more comments, also from moms
>who've been in similar situations.
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