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Date Posted: 04:12:10 01/20/16 Wed
Author: Aelita
Subject: Huffington Post / Melissa McLaren: Conversing With Kids About Gender

I'm not sure how other families steer their kids through social norms and conversational appropriateness, but in our house we talk pretty openly though we try hard to keep things age-appropriate. The word "transgender" floats through our house frequently, and my husband and I often find ourselves having discussions with the kids that I suspect aren't the norm in other households. Our twins are mature for their age, but they're also 10-year olds. While the topic list is open, we take great pains to remember their age and maturity level.

All of that said, we have had to navigate through some pretty adult conversations recently in this house. Our daughter, who is transgender, had her first endocrinology appointment a few months ago. This was to establish some ground work, meet the physician, talk about the process of going on hormone blockers and possibly cross-gender hormones (when and if appropriate, down the line, at the appropriate age), and for the physician to meet us, meet our child and determine all of our wishes for hormone treatment. It was a really tough appointment for us for very different reasons.

I talk to lots of parents of transgender and gender non-conforming kids. We're all in different places of acceptance and readiness for the next steps. My husband and I had begun to feel like pros in navigating these waters because we've done it for so long. Conner has presented as a female for longer than she presented as a male. She doesn't say that she feels like a girl, she says that she is a girl. That's an important distinction when we start talking about hormone blockers and cross-gender hormones.

There was a recent article in Slate magazine from researchers who are leading a long-term study to observe the development and mental health of children who describe themselves as gender non-conforming and transgender. It's a great article that describes some of the nuances between gender non-conforming children (children who don't fit expected gender norms but don't necessarily say that they ARE a different gender) and transgender children (who usually state or feel that they ARE a different gender).

Read the rest of the article here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/melissa-mclaren/difficult-conversations_1_b_8999618.html

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