VoyForums
GIVE FREE FOOD
www.TheHungerSite.com
-> Click Here <-
FUND FREE MAMMOGRAMS
www.TheBreastCancerSite.com
-> Click Here <-
Non-profit ad served by VoyForums...

VoyUser Login optional ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 12345[6]78910 ]


[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 02:51:53 08/09/12 Thu
Author: Joanie
Subject: Re: Help my son bring out his femine side
In reply to: Maryanne 's message, "Help my son bring out his femine side" on 20:12:44 08/08/12 Wed

Hi Maryanne,
I'm Joanie and very much encourage cross gender experiences for all children. I think it's always a good thing for kids to try new things so they can feel comfortable and free to express their own desires. Imagination often is stymied by gender expectation. We've been free to allow our daughters to seek their own happiness and style, it's time we allow the boys the same equality.
I'd say your intuition is on the right track and your heart is in the write place. And your son sounds very sweet and of course a little curious too. Your right to want to find a way to approach this that won't be shameful or embarrassing for him, and he's most likely not going to "share" his feelings with out feeling comfortable and in a habit of doing that.
So using a slower more communicative approach could be one way. I'd start with you, if you don't all ready (as it's been suggested here) pay attention to your own dressing, step it up a bit, if it's not already fem. When you do, ask for his opinion on the way you look. And have him choose between a couple of dresses that you want to wear. Mention that your starting to enjoy expressing being a woman and how much fun you have and all the different choices of outfits you can put together. Basically show a pride in your own appearance and suggest that "we" should all try to feel better about ourselves and the way we look. Basically begin the conversation, don't wait for him to bring it to you.
Over time get him involved with more, let his hair grow out while brushing or styling yours you could ask him to come over so you can brush his as "it's tangly and needs to be washed and brushed often." Grooming in this manner with give you close time in which you can begin to suggest, "you have such pretty hair.", "if only you were my daughter, we could share more things." Things that will engage a more girlish atmosphere around your house, think of the things you would do if you did have a daughter. The success in anything comes from living in that possibility.
I'd also have a conversation with his aunt and his cousin. Bring them up to speed with your suspicions and speak positively about how people should be allowed to experiment, to discover who they are. That you will always love your son no matter who he turns out to be. They may have also seen a softer side to him and be willing to test the waters with you. His cousin would be a great person to get him engaged sooner. If she's near his age and they hang out together, she could employ games of pretend dress up or truth or dare depending on her own personality.
In all cases positive reinforcement an communication of the female kind should bring you closer to him and help to reveal his wants and needs to you. At this awkward age, boys find it hard to put into words the way they may feel. They already may know that society is expecting them to be "manly", (what ever that is supposed to mean). So you do the talking, suggesting, offering, guiding. You'll soon see if you two can enjoy his girl side.

Have fun, Joanie

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]


Replies:

  • Re: Help my son bring out his femine side -- RK, 06:48:57 08/09/12 Thu
  • Re: Help my son bring out his femine side -- Joanie, 17:49:12 08/09/12 Thu
    [ Contact Forum Admin ]


    Forum timezone: GMT-8
    VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
    Before posting please read our privacy policy.
    VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
    Copyright © 1998-2012 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.