Re: My childs situation -- Mothers Raising Boys as Girls

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Date Posted: 09:34:14 05/23/15 Sat
Author: Aelita
Subject: Re: My childs situation
In reply to: Linda B. 's message, "My childs situation" on 18:48:37 04/15/15 Wed

Hi Linda. I am writing you because I was your child fifteen years ago. You have a very short window of opportunity here. I can tell you what the doctors and psychologists asked me. The first one was a urologist (with a thick Austrian accent like a stereotypical German scientist in the movies). He asked me blunt questions about sex, girls, erections, masturbation and so on. I told him I didn't want "it" and "it" wasn't good for anything and that "it" never happened and I didn't touch myself and I just wanted "it" gone so I could be normal and have a normal life. I saw the psychologist next. He asked me similar questions and also asked if I wanted to be a girl. I told him I didn't want to be a girl, I WAS a girl and had been female my entire life as far back as I could remember and for some strange, bizarre reason I looked like a boy. Then the psychologist told me "I don't need to talk to you -- I need to talk to your mother." He told my mother "You don't have a son. You have a daughter" and tried to explain to her how (for reasons that are still unknown) my brain was female (this was confirmed later with MRI scans when I was at university) and it all happened before I was born. Unlike you however my mother would accept none of it.

Talk to you child and simply ask what she wants. It doesn't have to be explicit. Get pictures of people in different professions and genders and ask her what she wants to be. Does she dream about being beautiful and pretty and glamorous? Does she ever think about boys and marriage? This doesn't have to be gender conforming -- you can want to be a female pilot, firefighter or engineer. Also ask what she thinks about "it" and if she wants "it" gone. If she's a "she" she will tell you.

Now you have to decide if you want your child to have a semi-normal life or not. If your child is a girl she will never live a completely normal life but what degree of normality she will have will depend on you. It is absolutely imperative that she gets evaluated for blockers and hormone therapy as soon as possible. The world has changed a lot in the last fifteen to twenty years but not that much. You have probably seen talk shows were audience members are interviewed and proclaim "they could always tell." That's not so true now but it was then. Trying to reverse the effects of secondary sex characteristics like unwanted hair is difficult and expensive. Some things like rib girth and shoulder width can never be reversed. People are more accepting now but can be very mean at times and it helps a lot if you at least look like the average girl next door.

I'm not a professional therapist but I am someone who has lived through this and if what you say is correct then you have a daughter. All of the legal stuff is a lot easier now -- getting a driver's license, passport, etc. Discrimination is still legal nationwide in the US except for local laws in a few cities and some states. Only a few states will change birth certificates. If you have a daughter it will mean a lot to her if you accept her as such. My mother didn't and I've not seen her in over ten years. She's going to come home crying sometimes and life will be hard but with your help she will get through it and grow up to be a beautiful young woman.

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Replies:

Re: My childs situation -- Astepdad, 16:17:38 07/15/15 Wed