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Here is some Great advice from Pameala Dove from the PDQ Website. Pameala is/was a nanny that has Feminized numerous males over her lifetime. Enjoy!!
A Nanny Writes
I was directed to your charming website by a lovely Scottish woman I met in an Internet chat room for mature dominant wives. She recommended Petticoat Discipline Quarterly to me as the most comprehensive website for correspondence about petticoated males and she was absolutely correct. I've had a really joyful time working my way through your archive material and had many a giggle over the imaginative disciplines your female readers have described using on their husbands, sons and nephews etc. One wonders how many males we pass on the street everyday (and barely acknowledge their existence) hide an embarrassing secret beneath their masculine clothing. I would go so far as to suggest that more pantied, nappied and chastity controlled men abound than many people are aware of.
Men can be such fools and really are their own worst enemies. Do they never learn? One wonders how sweet little boys can grow into such belligerent teenagers and unruly, disrespectful adults after we put so much hard work into raising them nicely. They really only have themselves to blame. Now, whilst I don't agree with the more extreme methods of discipline and domination, such as enforced sissification or openly public humiliation, it is apparent to me (and your numerous female correspondents) that the more excessive demonstrations of masculine behaviour definitely have to be brought under female control. So if the male won't recognise his faults and willingly moderate his behaviour then we have to step-in and lay down the law ourselves, even if only for our own peace of mind.
On the cover of Petticoat Discipline Quarterly, Aunty Kathy writes: "I believe petticoat discipline to be effective, fun, and helpful to society and family. More importantly, it is actually true that you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar. A cute pinafore, silk clothing, dainty shoes, and the comfort of panties or dummy is honey". I completely agree with Aunty Kathy's simple statement for I truly believe that the soft, yet assertive gentle touch will always yield the best results in the long run. Boys especially, if caught early enough and before they learn bad habits from their peer groups, can benefit greatly from even a relatively short period in petticoats and if they are encouraged to explore their own inner femininity through dressing with mother lessons then that healthy and, above all, positive experience will stay with them well into their adult lives too. I believe that effective petticoating is as much about guiding a male towards higher personal standards as it is about correcting his bad ways.
In my time I have had good cause to discipline a number of young males in loco parentis and, like Aunty Kathy, I too have seen petticoating as a golden opportunity to teach moody, self-centred teenagers especially, a valuable lesson about nurturing and putting others first. With younger males though I've generally found a good place to start is to give the newly petticoated boy a pretty dolly to care for. We've all had our favourite dollies when we were girls so it's only fitting that a petticoated boy should rightly come to know the same simple joys any little girl experiences from playing with her dolly. It isn't always necessary to make the boy adopt a girl's name during his petticoating but I would certainly tell him to give his dolly a pretty name and explain to him that she must be as presentable as he was at all times. He would have to learn how to dress his dolly, brush and plait or braid her hair and how to tie pretty ribbon bows; if she was a baby dolly then he would have to learn how to bottle-feed, bathe and change her too and I would encourage him to keep his dolly with him at all times and whenever we went out. Matching dresses for the boy and his dolly is another fine idea as it builds a special bond between the boy and his dolly very quickly. He will work hard to care for her and keep his dolly's appearance up to his newly acquired standards. Seeing a newly trained, feminised male happily helping with the shopping or household chores or a petticoated boy pushing his dolly's pram around the park really is a satisfying sight to be seen and makes all the hard work truly worthwhile. With time and patience miracles can and do happen. It is all about refocusing a boy's attention; away from the negative and destructive and towards the positive and constructive.
With some males, at times it can feel like a constant uphill struggle to institute a successful petticoating regime but the only times I have, most regrettably, turned to domestic discipline are when I've completely exhausted all other ways of bringing the recidivist to heel, so when a boy goes over my knee he knows he has really deserved it. I never spank out of anger nor to humiliate the boy (and I have never spanked a boy in front of anyone other than his mother, aunt or other female guardian) but to teach him a difficult lesson and I'm proud to say that I have never needed to spank the same male more than once. I believe the timely shock of a sorely, reddened and stinging backside followed by a spell in the naughty corner and an early bedtime is both a discomforting and a profoundly shameful experience that any male, of whatever age, will remember for a long time to come, as is born out by so many of the personal accounts and frank confessions you have printed from mature spanked and petticoated males.
Moving away from thoughts of domestic discipline, it is true that some young males take to petticoating surprisingly quickly but its sheer poppycock to think that petticoating alone will turn a naturally heterosexual boy gay or make him into a mincing sissy boy. I've certainly known a few older teenage boys give themselves away by becoming quite aroused by party frocks, frilly petties and pretty underwear and some will even adopt a very sissy manner indeed when dressing or being dressed, but that aspect of their character was always inside of them anyway; petticoating just permitted it to be brought to the surface. In fact most young heterosexual males do experiment with female clothes; whether they are their mother's clothes, a sister's or another female's. It is a natural stage in any boy's development and it is perfectly understandable that young, sensitive males might feel drawn to softer, sensual materials like satin, lace and silk (which usually tend to be found only in a woman's wardrobe) even if it is only a passing phase in the boys' lives. It is only the ridiculous social pressure of silly male peer groups that forces a boy to suppress any feminine feelings he may experience and coerces him into regarding outward expressions of femininity in other males as a sign of weakness. This becomes an ingrained, learned response and is fuelled mainly by a male's own denial of his feminine feelings and a fear of discovery, which ultimately results in such stupid acts of displacement as fighting over the result of silly football matches and thinking that brute force and sheer ignorance will overcome all problems. Petticoating helps to redress this imbalance for true petticoat discipline doesn't rob a male of his masculinity; it moderates it and teaches him that there is a time and place for everything (with the possible exception of their silly football games). From my experience most heterosexual males will gradually come to accept their petticoating by rote and so adopt a more pleasing and cooperative manner around women without feeling they need to mince or put on a silly, squeaky voice and exhibit prissy, attention seeking behaviour. A contented, petticoated male is a male who has learned to be at peace with his feminine side.
Deportment. At the mere mention of that word I can imagine quite a few of your male readers will suddenly sit bolt upright or feel an urgent need to check their posture. Older readers might even bring to mind images of long legged, miniskirted models from the 1960s deftly swinging their legs in and out of shiny sports cars (knees together now, girls!) without ever once showing a glimpse of underwear. One dictionary definition of deportment states that it is 'the manner in which a person behaves (or conducts oneself), especially in physical bearing'. Quite so.
Males are physically top heavy, more so than even the bustiest woman for males move from their shoulders. Watch any male walking anywhere and you will see what I mean. It is most noticeable in the slouching, hunched shoulders and shuffles of the average teenage male and can present quite a challenge to any women petticoating a boy for the first time. For a start, getting a teenage male to stand up straight can be taxing enough; just ask any parent! The classic tried and trusted technique of placing a hardback book flat upon a petticoated male's head when teaching him how to walk upright in a convincingly feminine manner remains my favoured method and is particularly pertinent when training a male in heels. Teenage boys especially find high heels difficult to cope with and often stumble or turn their ankles at first because they do not pay close attention to how a woman actually holds her body when she walks (sic). To remedy this fault, when training a teenage boy to heels I would mark out a line along the floor with a roll of drafting tape, from one end of my hallway to the other (about 20 feet in length) and, instructing the boy to place one foot in front of the other, a pace apart and directly on the tape as he walked along it, I would tell the boy to hold his hips so that he could physically feel them sway from side to side, mimicking a catwalk model's movement. At the end of the line of tape he would then turn on the balls of his high heeled shoes and walk back along the same line to the starting point, all the while keeping his spine straight and shoulders back so as not to dislodge the book from his head. And then he would be told to repeat the same exercise again and again and again. To a casual observer this seems a mite exaggerated at first but, with constant repetition and practice, this method successfully teaches any male the basics of posture, grace and elegance when walking like a female in high heels. Refinement in movement comes later for none of us can run before we can walk; especially in heels! Sometimes a short, flared skirt or wraparound kilt would help as the swing of his skirt would match the movements of the boy's hips and help him to establish a smooth and naturally graceful feminine rhythm to his gait.
One little addition of my own devising, intended to encourage the petticoated male to keep his head up and facing forwards, is to give the petticoated male clip-on earrings to wear that have tiny silver bells hanging from them. The purpose, he will quickly learn, is to walk delicately and lightly and not to make the bells tinkle at all. It is more difficult than it sounds; I've even tried it myself. Other young dressers, transvestites and feminised males I've worked with have also benefited from being taped and tucked, as this clever technique helps them to achieve a more convincingly feminine swing to their hips whilst walking and a more visually pleasing feminine shape in their underwear with the added bonus that a tucked male feels more feminine in his mind because his private parts are discretely hidden from view. One should never underestimate the psychological effect a few lengths of surgical tape or a dancer's modesty strip can have on the male ego. It works every time.
Now, if you will excuse me going off on a slight tangent for a moment, I must say that I can't help but be appalled by the general state of men's table manners. All too often I see males treat knives and forks as weapons and literally attack their food, lowering their heads to cram sustenance into their mouths. There really is no need to act like this. Knives, forks and spoons are implements, not weapons and should be used as an aid to eating, not as a means to fill the mouth as quickly as possible. Food should be chewed with the mouth shut! Ladies eat with refinement, using the knife and fork correctly, always cutting their food into small, manageable pieces and lifting the food by the tines and the bridge of the fork to the mouth. One will never see a lady or a well raised girl lower her head, as to a pig's trough, and shovel her food into her mouth. This is something that I would always take time to instil in any boy that I was petticoating at the time. Manners cost nothing but they mean everything and good table manners especially are the mark of the nicely raised young lady.
Well, now that I have that out of my system I want to briefly mention 'the Curtsey'. Teaching the male to curtsey is an excellent way for him to find his natural 'feminine' centre of gravity for, in my opinion, there's nothing worse than a badly trained, petticoated male or sissy maid who cannot execute a full curtsey properly. The dainty lifting of the dress hem and petticoat (betwixt the thumb and first and second fingers only, please with the ring ringer slightly crooked and the little finger fully extended) should be executed at exactly the same moment that the male dips in his curtsey and lowers his eyes. It should be one, singular, fluid movement of his body made with the minimal of fuss and, as any well trained maid knows, the purpose of the curtsey is to show subservience, obedience and respect to one's elders and betters and not to openly display one's underwear, unless specifically instructed to. With perfect execution only the dark band of the stocking tops should be glimpsed and not the suspender straps or panties. In time and with much practice, practice, practice, even the gawkiest petticoated male teenager or young adult can execute a perfect curtsey, learn to walk beautifully in heels and exhibit excellent table manners and refined feminine mannerisms with a natural grace and elegance; so becoming a source of pride and joy for his mother, aunt or guardian in the process. It never fails. (One quick thought - I wonder how many modern teenage girls and young women nowadays know how to curtsey; not many I would think. The days of the debutante and elegant young ladies being presented at court appear to be long gone.)
Of course petticoating isn't for everyone; one size doesn't necessarily fit all so it's understandable that some women have instead turned to nappies and nursery discipline to control their troublesome males. Teenage, nappied males, such as sons and nephews can be particularly sweet if they're well trained and even some adult children and mature, nappied husbands can make very amusing babies and playthings for the naturally dominant woman. In my opinion whatever method of discipline works for you and gets the results you want is the correct discipline to use. There's no written rule that says males have to be out of nappies by a certain age but, all the same, I am still surprised by those women who deliberately regress their males to a fulltime babyhood as I can't understand why any intelligent, self-assured woman would wish to create more work for herself by taking on a fulltime, big baby. My view is that nursery discipline should ultimately benefit the woman and not chain her to an endless round of nappy changes, bottle feeds and attending to every passing whim of her 'baby'. Just who is training whom here? I suppose there are some dominant mothers, aunts and wives who genuinely seek out such an intense 'babyist' lifestyle for their own personal reasons but then, considering my particular interests, who I am to judge how others choose to live? Each to her own is my philosophy. A woman I've known for many years has successfully raised four boys on her own, all of whom were briefly under strict nappy discipline (as opposed to nursery discipline) through their awkward teenage years. It did them a world of good. They are all now happily married to imaginative, assertive wives and although none are nappied any longer it's clear that the boys; now all young men, have learned their early lessons well and hold their wives and mother in the highest regard, as they should.
I suppose it's inevitable that there's going to be some cross-over with petticoating and nursery discipline. I confess I've even done it myself with a stubborn teenager who repeatedly spoiled the pretty underwear I had carefully chosen for him; returning the boy to baby dresses, terry nappies and frilly, plastic 'baby' pants after a spanking to shamefully remind him why he was being disciplined in the first place. In that particular case it became necessary to nappy the awkward boy, day and night, for the best part of a month to ensure he had fully learned his lesson but I've noticed with most teenagers and younger, adult males the mere prospect of being made to wear bulky terry nappies and rustling plastic pants is usually embarrassing enough to make them buck their ideas up very fast and work hard to keep their quiet panties. A male in that situation quickly learns to see his dainty panties and petticoats as a big step-up from nappies and plastic pants and a reward for continuing good behaviour. For ultimately it always comes down to reward and punishment with males, doesn't it?
On a slightly different tack, the dominant Scottish woman I briefly mentioned at the top of my letter told me that both her husband and adult stepson wear permanent chastity devices as both males were chronic self-abusers until she stepped in and took control of them. The husband, she told me, had originally advertised for a dominant wife to take control of his life but he got more than he had imagined or bargained for when he agreed to marry this ingeniously minded Scottish woman. The device the males wear is apparently called a 'Curve'; I had to look it up on the Internet as I'm not au fait with the newer types of chastity aids yet and a most disconcerting piece of equipment it looks too! She has had both of her males fitted and locked and quite proudly boasted that the keys hang from a slim, silver chain around her neck. Her 'wee laddies', as she referred to the two males in her life, are also petticoated, pantied, pierced and completely under her thumb. Released from their chastity only to wash and see to their personal hygiene, they are also permitted a mere seven minutes (by the egg timer), once a fortnight, to manually 'relieve' their masculine frustrations. There is one other female keyholder involved in this disciplinarian relationship and that is her stepson's fiancÚ who has taken to her new, dominant role as a duck to water and, I was told, is only too eager to learn as much as she can about male chastity control from her prospective mother-in-law. Those are two, single-minded and very determined women; I like their style. I've never used chastity control on males of any age but since my retirement it is a subject in which I am becoming more and more interested and I think it merits further study so thank you to both you, Aunty Helga and Saffy for your very interesting area of Petticoat Discipline Quarterly covering male chastity. You've given me something new to think about!
In recent months I've become something of an unofficial, online Agony Aunty in some of the chat rooms I like to visit and I'm pleased to note that petticoating and nursery discipline are still as widely supported and as prevalent as ever. I've also heard tell of beauty pageant events for young petticoated males in America, which I think is a wonderful idea for promoting petticoating and a feminine way of life and I really hope it catches on over here. There are a great many mature women, both here and abroad, who continue to petticoat or nappy (diaper) their husbands and adult offspring and I am so delighted with the new generation of younger, assertive mothers and aunties discovering for themselves the benefits of training their growing boys in pretty 'little girl' style dresses. I'm sure these particular boys will grow into respectful adults, no matter what their eventual, personal preferences turn out to be, and never forget their invaluable, petticoated lessons learned at their mummies knees'.
One final point I'd like to raise and that is how shocked I've become with the growing, unladylike behaviour of some teenage girls and young women nowadays. Female public drunkenness, swearing and lewd behaviour are anathema to me. I blame slack parenting, the availability of cheap alcohol, drug taking, 'reality' television and the tawdry sensationalism of the yellow press for undermining our traditional, homely values and leading the less-disciplined members of our sex into bad ways. In my day no nicely raised young lady would ever deign to lower herself to such base, underclass standards. Something needs to be done; right now. I'm afraid that it might be time for petticoating (and possibly even nursery discipline) to be extended, albeit temporarily, to wayward girls; if only to bring them back to the path of righteousness, feminine decency and simple good manners. That's just my opinion; call it old fashioned or out of date if you like but I know I am not the only old biddy to think this way.
Well it's been lovely to discover Petticoat Discipline Quarterly and my apologies to all of you in the PDQ offices for this rather long and involved letter. There is so much more that I would like to write about but I think I shall save that for another time perhaps, as its getting late now. I will make a point to visit Petticoat Discipline Quarterly more often now and I will most definitely be recommending your unique and wonderful website to other women I happen across with petticoated, nursery disciplined or chastity controlled males. I wish you all the very best of luck with the future.
Thank you for writing Pamela, I'm sure our readers were thrilled to read such a detailed and instructive letter and if you have time, perhaps write again.