Subject: The Answer |
Author: Gale
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Date Posted: 15:37:28 08/16/13 Fri
In reply to:
Ryan
's message, "Re: Answering Ryan's Question" on 09:31:16 08/16/13 Fri
My boys are 11 and 15 years, Ryan. And, yes, I agree with you that only two paddlings all summer for the teenager is an achievement. It's important that good behavior and obedience be rewarded so I promised him that if his good behavior continues without incidence throughout this month of August that just he and I will plan a "man to man" camping trip the last weekend of September. Since our public schools will be dismissed the last Friday of the month for the annual County Fair Day this will provide a long weekend for our out-of-doors excersion. I'm positive that he'll be able to muster good behavior for the remainder of the month since he certainly is excited about not having to share his Dad's attention with anyone and especially his younger brother. What he doesn't realize is that I'm looking forward to this opportunity even more than is he!
As far as your rugged summer with the paddle is concerned, I still say that if you'll genuinely work towards being obedient then time is on your side. But, Ryan, it's not just the passage of time that automatically reduces your number of paddlings. It's your commitment to genuinely work at obedience. What your paddle does is to motivate your work. You've confessed that with the except of a week at youth camp you've received at least one, and sometimes two, lickings each week. When the urge to disobey comes around, remember what the paddle felt like on your butt during your paddling. For me as a teenager it was not
a paddle but rather Dad's hand-held leather strap. Whenever the urge to do what I knew was wrong, I would pause before doing it, remember what the strap felt like as Dad administered it to the seat of my blue jeans, and them asked myself if the fun of doing what I wanted to do was actually worth taking another licking. I'll confess that sometimes I went ahead and did what I wanted to do despite the certainty of another licking. But you know what? The more I went through this ritual of asking myself if another licking was worth it, the more I gradually began to tell myself "No, it isn't worth it." The magic word here is "gradually." Learning obedience takes time, Ryan. Chalk-up the several paddlings you've received this summer to the experience of learning what it feels like to receive a paddling. Seeing that paddle on your bedroom wall is intended to help you remember how each of your lickings felt. And as you remember how they felt, along with genuinely working to obey --- plus the gradual passage of time as you grow older --- you'll one day suddenly think,"It's been a long,long time since that paddle on my wall saw any action!"
Keep at it and best regards, Gale
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