Need Advice -- Spank with Love

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Subject: Need Advice

Author:
anonymous

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Date Posted: 21:30:28 09/29/12 Sat

I need some advice and I hope that you guys or maybe your parents can help. This summer my mom got a new boyfriend and I am having trouble with him. My mom expects me to listen to him and do what he says. I understand that. It's what my one teacher calls a no-brainer. He's an adult and I am supposed to listen to adults. I only have a couple problems with it. He is a lot stricter than my mom. He said that soon he will be taking care of discipline in the house and if I don't shape up he has a belt set aside just for me. He said that if that isn't enough they might send me to military school. The other big problem is homework. My mom always checked my homework but now he checks it. The problem is he doesn't know how. He made me re-do 2 pages of math problems that were done the way my teacher wanted them. He said that I should do them the way he said. Another time he made me re-write a report because he didn't like some of the things I wrote in it. I tried talking to my mom about this stuff but that didn't work. She talked to him and he said that I was lying, he didn't say or do anything like I said. Now my mom is mad at me and I don't know what to do.

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Replies:

[> Subject: Re: Need Advice
Author: Moderator [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 11:46:47 10/18/12 Thu I'm bumping this thread up to the top. Does anyone have any suggestions for this poster? If your mom is not listening and doesn't believe you then maybe there is another family member or trusted adult that you could talk with about this matter. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: Need Advice
Author: PJ [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 17:19:19 10/18/12 Thu The only think I can think of is to talk with a pastor at church, the school guidance counselor or maybe a friend's parents. Wow! This is hard. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: Need Advice

Author:
anonymous
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Date Posted: 19:29:48 11/03/12 Sat

I tried talking to our Pastor. All he would say was how important it was for me to obey my parents or any other adults.

I talked to one of my teachers from last year. He talked to my Mom with me, but then she talked to her boyfriend who denied everything and said I was lying. Now I'm in trouble with my Mom and her boyfriend. Again.

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[> Subject: Re: Need Advice

Author:
David (Chandler's father)
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Date Posted: 20:26:11 11/03/12 Sat

It really sounds to me like your step-father is on a power trip. If he's making you redo properly done homework I'd suggest having your teacher set up a conference with him to show him the way it's expected to be done. Sometimes they have to be humbled to wise up. I'm also concerned about the "belt set aside for me," comment. There's a big difference between spanking out of love and spanking to be the boss. It sounds like he intends the latter. You need some intervention before it's too late. I'd keep a journal of all the times he threatens you and makes you redo homework and if possible find a way to record the dialogue. I'm going to talk about this to a friend of mine who's a deputy sheriff and see what he thinks.

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[> [> Subject: Re: Need Advice
Author: Tohru [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 16:32:53 11/04/12 Sun He is not even a step father, he is just a live in boyfriend at this point. This kind of family situation is not healthy, but it happens far too often. Try to hang in there, anonymous, and get out when you turn 18 if it is intolerable. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: Need Advice

Author:
anonymous
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Date Posted: 16:32:14 11/05/12 Mon

Things are getting a little better. Our neighbor heard Mom's boyfriend say that I needed more work to do so he hired me to help clean his garage and attic. He has lots of boxes of books and papers that need to be sorted. We don't spend all the time working. A lot of the time we talk about stuff. He lets me read any of his books that are ok for my age if I want. He agreed with your ideas to set up a teacher conference and keeping a journal. He told me to keep the journal at his house if I want so Mom's boyfriend won't find it. He also said that I can come over anytime I feel threatened at home.

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