PJ's problem -- Spank with Love

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, [7] ]

Subject: PJ's problem

Author:
PJ

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 14:10:50 07/17/12 Tue

Hello, I am PJ and I have anger issues!

That's how it works, right? First step is to admit the problem.

This past Sunday was another Sunday with Mom and I getting in to it over me being late getting up and being late to church. And, I got mad and I cussed her again. Sigh!

I had also gone 3 days without taking care of my chores. (Sadly, on purpose.) This discussion with Mom just added to my anger issue of the morning.

Mom laid out a ton of non-corporal punishments for me.

Mom, Dad and I all talked later. Some of those punishments got reduced but Dad said I had also earned a spanking. (No real shock.)

So, Dad gave it to me pretty bad and I ended up doing a rather hefty write off and I lost my electronics for a day. I still have no TV privileges and Dad said that would be until further notice. I suspect that PJ and TV will not be seeing each other for a long time.

Dad also says he is tired of doing this over and over and it not working. (Definition of insanity.) Mom and Dad think I may need some "professional" intervention.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: PJ's problem

Author:
Tohru
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 15:53:04 07/17/12 Tue

I think it might really be time for your parents to cut you loose a bit. Not cut you slack, absolutely not, but you are a young man and I think it might be time to face some adult level consequences for what you are doing. You can't just get away with no consequence. It might be time for you to start supporting yourself if you don't do your household chores or accompany your parents to church. You are a man and need to take responsibility for your actions.

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: PJ's problem

Author:
PJ for Tohru
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 17:07:48 07/17/12 Tue

I think in more ways than with most 16 year olds that my parents do "cut me loose" on lots of things. Frankly I feel I have more independence than many of my peers.

The root issue here is WHY am I having these flare ups?

I think Dad (and Mom too) would agree that some adult level consequences would work as "punishment" but, we are looking to solve my problem. I think Dad has identified that my issue is probably now beyond consequences.

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> Subject: Re: PJ's problem

Author:
Tohru
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 19:27:34 07/17/12 Tue

That is a good point. If the anger is extraordinary that is a problem.

"Frankly I feel I have more independence than many of my peers."
That is good to hear. It is hard for me to say one way or another. My parents really have never done much to encourage my independence, but I have to say that I have also never really received any punishment during my teen years.

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: PJ's problem

Author:
Rat to Tohru
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 20:21:35 07/17/12 Tue

I am not sure what you suggest would solve PJ's issue. It seems he just gets "angry in the moment" and then does or says something he regrets. I think he is looking for help with that.

I agree at 16 that a "young man" needs to start experiencing the adult world and adult consequences BUT he is still also legally a child and his parents do have some responsibility to him which they seem to be exercising. And, still being a "child," he is going to act as such on occasion. But "adults" get angry and do stuff they regret. I think it is good that his parents are helping him figure this out before he gets to be an adult and the consequences might involve peeking out through bars while wearing an ugly orange outfit.

It sounds like his parents' reaction has been reasonable but, for what ever reason, it is not helping PJ. So, time for a new plan.

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: PJ's problem

Author:
Christopher
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 18:40:29 07/17/12 Tue

Hi, PJ. I'm Christopher and I just turned 13 last month. I have a anger problem too, especially when I don't get my own way. I just lose it sometimes and can't control my temper. Dad paddled me yesterday because I threw a fit at the park. He said I'm being a rebellious teenager and trying to test authority. I don't think that's why I lose my temper, but he thinks it is.

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: PJ's problem

Author:
Taylor
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 21:19:55 07/17/12 Tue

Hi PJ. I just introduced myself in another post. I can totally relate to your anger thing. I get really mad at my mom sometimes when she gets after me for stuff. I have this problem with stomping my feet. I can't help it when it happens I just do it and then I get in trouble. It really sets my parents off. But I don't think my mom is being fair sometimes though. I mean why do I alwasy have to stop what I want to do? Why does it always have to be done now?

Sorry you got a spanking though. Me and my brothers and sister get it for that kind of stuff too. I hope you get tv privelege back soon too.

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: PJ's problem

Author:
Ryan
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 02:03:04 07/18/12 Wed

PJ, do you have any idea why you feel so angry? I guess that's what you're trying to figure out, but could it be something that you kind of know inside but maybe isn't so obvious, like maybe it doesn't have very much to do with what's happening right then? Like you said you didn't do your chores on purpose, so you probably have a reason that you know inside but maybe isn't really about the chores.

I don't think professional intervention is a bad thing. I go to counseling and I started going last fall. I think it helps me think about things before I act. I was kind of embarrassed at first but I don't really need to be embarrassed. I've never really talked about it though.

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: PJ's problem
Author: Michael [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 16:38:24 07/18/12 Wed I'm sorry you had to get a bad spanking. Maybe you can stop getting spankings soon. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]