Re: Concerned about my son -- Spank with Love

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Subject: Re: Concerned about my son

Author:
Bob Builder

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Date Posted: 22:20:47 01/07/13 Mon
In reply to: Concerned Mom 's message, "Concerned about my son" on 07:35:32 10/07/12 Sun

My oldest has ADHD and you can use spanking if its done correctly. Its not about pain or number of slaps, those are just details. Its about sending a message in a way that gets across to the child. I spank him at 13 and it works well because I have learned to do it correctly with him, which takes time and practice.

You say that you don't want him labeled, but being labeled is not a bad thing, not in the school setting at all. When he is in public school he will get extra time on tests if he needs them and help and extra chances which he will need. The school will allow you to become much more involved which I feel is always a good thing.

Your example of jumping on the bed sums up perfectly the difference between ADHD and non ADHD children. You spanked him for jumping on the bed and shortly there after he was doing it again. Now some might say that is because you haven't spanked him hard enough or long enough but that is not this case. At least not for this misbehavior. What he has is poor impulse control. That is not something he should be punished for, that is something that he should be helped with. You will need to learn what behaviors he can control and should be punished for and what behaviors he can't control and should not be punished for.

Which brings me to my next point. The meds help, they have helped my son a lot and he is only on them for school hours not for nights or weekends and not for school breaks. They will help him focus in school which is likely one of his bigger issues. They will not turn him into a robot or a zombie but they will slow his thoughts down enough that he begins to have a choice in his actions. All of that being said each family must make its own choice about using meds or not. His road will be harder without the meds but it can be done.

I hope some of this helps you, if you have questions please ask.

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