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Subject: Re: Possible illegality Author: Anna [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 05:51:40 01/18/18 Thu In reply to: SJ 's message, "Re: Possible illegality" on 05:29:53 01/18/18 Thu I live in such a country and I accepted getting spanked as long as I lived at home, but not necessarily because I thought it was "the best way". It was just easier than getting into a bad argument with my parents. I have very mixed feelings about it, and remember feeling very bad about it when I was younger: how come they can just break the law? is it abuse? why do I put up with it? It's not the kind of questions you should ponder at 12. I made my peace with it when I got a little older and even developed a kind of twisted pride (because it's so rare), but rationally I find it hard to defend. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Possible illegality Author: SJ [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08:07:25 01/18/18 Thu What a fantastic answer Anna. I think you've summed up the mental processes superbly. Out of interest, do you know what your parents' feelings were, knowing they were technically breaking the law? Did they ever discuss it with you, or was it just this is how it's going to be, law or no law? I suppose to some extent it would depend on how severely you were spanked. The current UK limit - mild smacking, transient smarting, and no marks - might just be acceptable, but that surely wouldn't work once you are a teenager. Stronger measures might be needed to enforce the point. How were you spanked? Was it reasonable? [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Possible illegality Author: Anna [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 03:43:28 01/19/18 Fri My spankings were beyond that UK limit. My mother used a wooden spoon, later the hairbrush, my father used the belt. I'm sure it could have been harsher, but I wouldn't say it was ever "mild". I got fewer, but harder spankings as I got older. I would really love to know about my parents' feelings in detail, but we never discussed the illegality explicitly. Occasional remarks make me think that (in a way like Jan's comments) they feel the modern legislation is just stupid, leaving us poorly prepared for unpleasant consequences and harsh turns in life. I may be wrong, but I think that there is a lot of defensiveness there. Mainstream opinion here links any form of corporal punishment to child abuse, and the spanking ban here (which was in place before my family moved here) was justified in those terms. When you were brought up with spankings (and both my parents were), it is hard to even contemplate that view. It's extremely sensitive and I don't want to confront them about it. Maybe a few years from now ... [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Possible illegality Author: SJ [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05:22:36 01/19/18 Fri I'm sure it is probably too late to question your parents about their feelings now, whatever happened has now gone. The thing is, whatever the law, you seemed to accept their choice of punishment as reasonable. Although the hot topic at the moment is "historic" abuse, I have no doubt you won't put your experiences into that category. Have you ever thought what would have happened if you had refused to bend over, saying that spanking was illegal and no way would you submit to it? Would they have listened? Out of interest, are you prepared to say which country you reside in? I'm sure you will have noticed on other threads here that I often wonder if some parents have an ulterior motive in giving spankings, especially if they are fairly frequent, sometimes quite harsh, and ritualistic in nature. I am not suggesting for one minute that yours were/are like that. I know that growing up a quick slap was enough to bring me up short, and the one time, about 10 y/o, I got the back of my legs smacked by a lady teacher (quite justifiably I might add!) it certainly made me ensure I didn't repeat that particular bad behaviour again. Would a bare bottom spanking, with hairbrush or belt, have had any better result? Do you see my point? Despite the above, I am not averse to corporal punishment being used in a fair, controlled way. But then I'm a spanko, so would say that, wouldn't I?! And I do like reading about true experiences, whether I agree or not. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Possible illegality Author: Anna [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 03:06:13 01/20/18 Sat I'm in Germany, my family moved here from Ukraine when I was very little. What would have happened had I refused to accept a spanking is something I have often speculated about. My guess is that once they understood I was serious, they would not have insisted, but they would have been deeply insulted ... because they would have felt that me pointing to that ban meant that I felt somehow that their methods amounted to some form of abuse. Your point about the "quick slap" is a common one, and for younger children it sounds convincing. Another point of view would be that the "quick slap" is actually worse because it means that your parents/teachers can just do it while the "ritual" of bending over requires some form of cooperation however that is motivated. I'm a spanko at least in the sense of enjoying stories and discussions, particularly about settings were corporal punishment is widely accepted as a part of growing up and does not carry the stigma that it has in the reality of my society. However, when it comes to the question of whether one should still spank when it's illegal, I'm beyond averse. I think it's a stupid idea because you should not be completely out of step with the society around you on such a sensitive issue. Realising that social services might knock on the door when some busybody gets wind of that spanking you got last night, is not a fun place for a child to be in. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]