| Subject: Re: Remember...one more thing |
Author:
JeNNN
|
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
Date Posted: 04:46:44 05/21/02 Tue
Author Host/IP: max3B-17.accucomm.net/209.97.104.89
In reply to:
aleX
's message, "Remember...one more thing" on 13:21:04 05/20/02 Mon
Alexxx,
I did not let on where I found evrything!It was so weird!I could have thrown files at him definate files that I did get into,butI knew that he would just say it popped up,I didn't know what it is was, I don't know how I ended up there.SOOO...I did finally find his little group of chatters!I went in the room and just sat for a while,he's pretty popular!There were a couple of girls who really talked some shit!I mean really talked some shit.I just tried to reply as I thought he would and I must not have been to off base because it didn't seem that anyone was suspicious that it wasn't him!?Well you know me!I could not hold it in I told you I was feeling very desperate!I could not control the way I acted I was hateful when he came in and I was very closed mouth and he knew that I had found something then he started spilling the beans gave me the girls names and told me that it was more of a joking thing that he passed them off in the way he passes our"friend" off when things like that happen.Well I did not take that for an excuse!I told him that I was not worried about infidelity,that there were a whole list of reasons that made me feel the way I was feeling and that is really the truth!I know it's not onesided,but I'm tired of the lies the cover ups you know all the way around!I think he knows now what point I'm at that I am just very tired!I am tired of pretending everything is okay when it's not!Well all of this comes out and as well as we tried to handle things no yelling no breaking things,cool calm talk,kids aren't stupid!They both knew that something was going on and it was serious!So we got to taste their emotions and it was not good!I have to slow down.I think that right now it is just enough that I got out what point I was at in all of this!I told him I was tired thatI did not care anymore what he did,I was just going to concentrate on my kids and make things good for them!Well as usual he cut me off and told me he just had to have some sleep!I guess that was a good thing,I think he let me know what point he was at!He was alot more fearful though I could see it I know that he is worried and I know that he knows the things he's been doing to me are wrong!No at this point I can't say a whole lot,I am human and I do wear down I am just so tired!I have to be very careful like you said, when it comes to this board,I don't want it to be on my end that things screw up!I have what I need now I can take that and if I hold on I can possibly do things with out making everyone hate me in the process.The way things could go are already in my head,but I will tell you about that later!I am sorry that I involved you in this!It was very wrong of me to ask!I don't know how strong I am right now because of my babies,but when it comes to the other I am very strong no one can make you feel what's not there...follow me!I hope all of this shit does not bring you down!It's going to be okay!I have to believe that things have a way of working out and I think that now things are going a little bit in my direction!I was thinking we might have to do chat and set up times I have gained full permission in that area.I will just do what we do now with names!I have to go a couple of places today I will be leaving at 11:30 am so if you think you might be able to get to the nearest payphone call me!I know I am putting alot on you alot!You have to hear all of this and on top of it all you have to figure out other ways to communicate with me!I think it would probably be good not to get too comfortable in one spot right now!I can't mess up what I have gained here and I don't think you want to either!It is going to be really hard,I am not coming back to this board anymore,I will be going crazy until you call and we work something out,but I am not taking any chances now,not now!Alexx I do LOVE you and I need you more than ever right now,I just think all of this might scare you away,that I will wake up and it will just be me sitting in a pile of craziness alone!I have to go I have alot of things to go through right now to ensure my safety,my sanity!Please know that I am thinking of you every minute and that I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!You are in my heart now! Remember this,don't make a fool of me boy!
ALWAYS
I LOVE YOU
JeNNN
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
| |
Feedback: 