Re: Advice -- Domestic Discipline

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Date Posted: 00:27:25 05/05/21 Wed
Author: Nadine
Subject: Re: Advice
In reply to: Jason 's message, "Advice" on 05:28:00 05/03/21 Mon

Her lack of punishment experience makes it both easier and harder. It is easier because you do not have to compete against expectations shaped by her previous experience. It is harder because you have no idea what levels of pain and discomfort that are just right for her to be both tolerable and effective as a punishment.

You need to experiment, and the safe way is to start at the lower end of the spectrum. Implement have advantages. They make it clear from the start that this is adult discipline, avoiding humiliating ideas about "being spanked like a child" (which works for some girls, but is counter-productive for others). They also allow for effective rituals (such as having her fetch and present the implement). However, they are generally more painful and many require a certain amount of skill on your part, so I agree with Chamed about using only your hand to start with. Adding some corner time (maybe just 15 minutes for a start) is also a good idea.

The thing about experiments is that they can fail. There is always the risk that the level of pain she gets from her first discipline is not enough or too much. You cannot help that. You should be open about the experimental nature of your first discipline sessions. My impression is that this goes a long way of helping your girlfriend not to think of you as abusive or weak if you get it wrong one way or the other. She will know that this is as much a test of her pain tolerance as it is a punishment and that it will be fine-tuned in future sessions.

One relevant bit of info in this context is that your girlfriend is a little spoiled. Many girls who are just "a little" spoiled actually know that and don't like it. Exploring their capacity to endure pain and discomfort, learning that they are tougher than they thought can build confidence and self-respect in ways that are even more effective in the long run than fear of punishment.

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Replies:

Re: Advice -- Jason, 03:47:16 05/05/21 Wed
- Re: Advice -- Nadine, 00:50:26 05/07/21 Fri