this is lunacy -- Let's Talk Spanking

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Subject: this is lunacy

Author:
Emily Travers (beyond words)

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Date Posted: 00:23:57 10/20/25 Mon
In reply to: Natalie 's message, "Re: Spanking Protocol" on 19:43:57 10/19/25 Sun

Uh, you are seriously being abused . And since this forum seems to be about flouting the law, let me recommend you do the same with your deadbeat parents....

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Replies:

[> [> [> Subject: Re: this is lunacy

Author:
Natalie
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Date Posted: 15:15:40 10/20/25 Mon

I'm sorry if you were abused and something I wrote was triggering for you. Your concern for me is appreciated, but unnecessary.

My parents can be frustrating, overbearing, over protective and overly strict at times, but I think it's completely unfair to call them abusive. They have never caused me any real harm and I do not live in fear. I can't imagine what gave you the idea my parents were deadbeats. They are not. My parents work hard and they always take care of their responsibilities and obligations.

[> [> [> Subject: my apologies
Author: Emily Travers [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 15:30:05 10/20/25 Mon I'll have to eat crow on this and fall back on what I said in another thread. It's beyond me why anyone would put up with such parents but it just reminds me how lucky I myself have been, and I am relieved that you are not fearful of them. Our personalities must be very different. My apologies to you. See my last note in the 'mountie' thread.

[> [> [> [> Subject: the background landscape

Author:
Emily Travers
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Date Posted: 15:57:35 10/20/25 Mon

And that personality difference might be symptomatic, or even near the root, of the state of my country these days. Truly 'a house divided'. I should add that my partner and I used to run a VOY called 'The Anti-Spanking Space'. There was some support out there but generally little action. It took too much time to maintain so we dumped it over two years ago now.

But case in point: our position was that cp should be universally banned for all from age 8 and up, which is when the human brain, according to our neuroscientists, develops the pathways to fully understand rational argument and make ethical decisions without threat of behavioristic reward or punishment. Well, immediately there was someone on there torching us for being 'hypocrites', and not standing up for younger children. So you can't win.

We learned that no matter how neocon or hippyesque you might be, there's always someone out there further down each road.

I also want to reassure you that I have never been abused, even by my wider definition. I have led rather a charmed life, and though I have a boring job (who doesn't?) I have no business complaining. And if you read my partner's memoir, you'll see that the two of us have had enough excitement to last a lifetime already, most of it due to our own recklessness and I dare say vanity as well.

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: my apologies

Author:
Natalie
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Date Posted: 18:12:25 10/20/25 Mon

I've decided to take your initial comment as voicing concern for my well being and there is no need to apologize for that, but all the same I accept and appreciate your apology.

I put up with my parents because they're my parents. We have our struggles and I definitely wish they'd stop spanking, but overall they're not that bad. Some of my friends have a much harder time with their parents. I've witnessed some blowups over practically nothing and it's made me appreciate how decent my parents actually are.

It's an interesting idea to ban spanking for older kids. As I guess you discovered on your forum, I just can't imagine you finding much support for it where I live. I know there are a lot of different perspectives, but a consistent theme is parents should decide what's right for their kids and the government should stay out of it. I got into a debate about this with one of my teachers last year because I felt compelled to point out that without the government's involvement there is no way to protect children from actual abuse. I have a bad habit of playing devil's advocate with my teachers. For some reason they don't all appreciate it.

I am pleased to hear you weren't abused. We definitely have different personalities. I don't think anyone I know would call me reckless. Maybe a little vain sometimes, but definitely not reckless.

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: my apologies

Author:
Emily Travers
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Date Posted: 19:28:08 10/20/25 Mon

Well, all that's years behind me in any case. I'm no huge fan of government myself but, I agree with you, at the same time some people can't be trusted to live civilly and as well, there is a wide difference of sense regarding what is healthy so we do need the law in general. And yes, I live on the West Coast so it is likely more 'liberal' out here.

And my original comment was simple dismay and disbelief. Good for you for taking on authority figures in general though.

And of course, none of us can choose our parents!