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>>From reading the posts here it seems that corner time >>was supposed for thinking about what you did wrong and >>how make it better in future. >> >>But have you really done this? Did you think about it >>or was ist more like a boring "Let it be >over"-waiting? >> >>Especially after a spanking I think I have had other >>worries then thinking about what I did wrong. There >>had been more worrying how to make my spanked bottom >>less burning. >> >>What about you? > >I never had corner time with or without a spanking. >But, when my mom used a time-out, which I already >mentioned was more like today’s practice of time-in, >she would talk to me about the problem and have a >conversation about making ways to solve the problem. >Child development experts, psychologists, brain >scientists, and educators say that a lot of young >children are not able to process what the problem is >or how to plan to avoid the problem in the future, >they need an adult with them having a conversation >about those things in order to comprehend it. Children >also need an adult to help them learn to regulate >their emotions in a positive way, which is why the >traditional type of time-out where you put the child >in a chair or corner and shun them for a set time >period also does not work. When the child is left by >themselves and is being shunned, no one is helping the >child process and regulate some of the difficult big >feelings that caused them to act out and misbehave. >This is another reason why time-in is preferable over >time-out. During time-in a parent is focused on the >child and is talking them through the emotions they >are feeling and teaching them skills to regulate how >they respond to those emotions. When my >Mother did this, I was able to think about the problem >behavior and solutions and I was able to have some >emotional support. It was completely opposite if my >father imprisoned me in my room for a while until the >execution of my sentence. > >If my dad sent me to my room to wait for a spanking, >all I thought about during that time of reflection was >what was going to happen to me. I would be focused on >my feelings of dread and panic. I’d get so anxious I >would have to go to the bathroom down the hall and pee >a couple of times. All I could think about was how >unbearable it would be when my bare bottom got whacked >over and over again with that wooden paddle or belt, >and how each smack was going to raise the temperature >of the intense burning I would feel on my backside. I >wasn’t thinking very much about the reasoning behind >why my dad was going to be spanking me. I was focused >with fear on the impending emotional and physical pain >I was going to suffer. During this wait no one was >helping me process and regulate any difficult emotions >that might have contributed to the problem. I was just >left there to sit on my bed thinking about my doom. > >After the spanking, I was crying too much to focus on >any reasoning for why I was tormented or how to avoid >the mistake in the future.

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