Re: The first spanking you remember -- Childhood Spanking Memories

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Subject: Re: The first spanking you remember

Author:
Sonya
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Date Posted: 23:51:41 05/06/25 Tue
In reply to: Carol 's message, "Re: The first spanking you remember" on 11:14:35 05/06/25 Tue

I'm sorry hon, I have to disagree, particularly since the natural consequence could have been much more serious than it was. I was outside barefoot and without a jacket and it was an unseasonably cold night for the area I live in. There was a serious risk of exposure. I was stuck in the shed in the dark no windows, for I don't know how long. I couldn't reach the light cord or find the door and I was terrified. I have no idea how long I was out in the shed, or how long I was outside before they noticed I had slipped out the door.

The long talk and the spanking were both very effective. I knew that I scared Momma and Daddy really bad and what I had done, sneaking off like that and hiding was something serious. I didn't do it again. Also, I developed a little bit of fear of dark places after that. So it was a long time before I ever even went into the shed again.

Regarding "Natural Consequences". To me there seems to be a certain amount of laziness and maybe even cruelty involved in using them and there are certain behaviors that the natural consequence is much worse than any spanking. I got talked into attending a parenting seminar when I was pregnant with my first child. The person conducting the seminar was a young man fresh out of college with some kind of a degree in child behavior. He fancied himself as an "expert". But he had no children of his own. In his discussion, he leaned heavily on a "hands off" approach and use of natural consequences. In a room full of Southern Women, many of whom had children. He used this as an example. "If your child refuses to put their dirty clothes school clothes in the laundry, then make them wear those dirty clothes to school. Or if they refuse to bathe, let them go dirty and when their classmates start making fun of them they will learn they need to take a bath and to get their clothes in the laundry so they can be cleaned. So me being me, I asked, "How long do you let this go on?" He said, "As long as it takes." then went on to say, "after their friends are making fun of them for a while, they'll change that behavior." I said, "Will that be before or after Social Services shows up at your door because the school has reported you for neglect?" He said, "Well I doubt that would really happen." Then another woman chimed in and asked him how many kids does he have? When he said he doesn't have kids, Everybody joined in. Asking him about if the child is doing dangerous behaviors and so forth. That poor guy soon realized that he was in over his head.

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Replies:

Subject Author Date

Re: The first spanking you remember Carol 07:37:43 05/08/25 Thu

Re: The first spanking you remember -- Sonya, 07:56:34 05/08/25 Thu

Re: The first spanking you remember Gary Steven - Natural Consequences 08:20:42 05/11/25 Sun

Re: The first spanking you remember -- Sonya to Gary Steven, 06:59:53 05/13/25 Tue

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>I'm sorry hon, I have to disagree, particularly since >the natural consequence could have been much more >serious than it was. I was outside barefoot and >without a jacket and it was an unseasonably cold night >for the area I live in. There was a serious risk of >exposure. I was stuck in the shed in the dark no >windows, for I don't know how long. I couldn't reach >the light cord or find the door and I was terrified. I >have no idea how long I was out in the shed, or how >long I was outside before they noticed I had slipped >out the door. > >The long talk and the spanking were both very >effective. I knew that I scared Momma and Daddy really >bad and what I had done, sneaking off like that and >hiding was something serious. I didn't do it again. >Also, I developed a little bit of fear of dark places >after that. So it was a long time before I ever even >went into the shed again. > >Regarding "Natural Consequences". To me there seems to >be a certain amount of laziness and maybe even cruelty >involved in using them and there are certain behaviors >that the natural consequence is much worse than any >spanking. I got talked into attending a parenting >seminar when I was pregnant with my first child. The >person conducting the seminar was a young man fresh >out of college with some kind of a degree in child >behavior. He fancied himself as an "expert". But he >had no children of his own. In his discussion, he >leaned heavily on a "hands off" approach and use of >natural consequences. In a room full of Southern >Women, many of whom had children. He used this as an >example. "If your child refuses to put their dirty >clothes school clothes in the laundry, then make them >wear those dirty clothes to school. Or if they refuse >to bathe, let them go dirty and when their classmates >start making fun of them they will learn they need to >take a bath and to get their clothes in the laundry so >they can be cleaned. So me being me, I asked, "How >long do you let this go on?" He said, "As long as it >takes." then went on to say, "after their friends are >making fun of them for a while, they'll change that >behavior." I said, "Will that be before or after >Social Services shows up at your door because the >school has reported you for neglect?" He said, "Well I >doubt that would really happen." Then another woman >chimed in and asked him how many kids does he have? >When he said he doesn't have kids, Everybody joined >in. Asking him about if the child is doing dangerous >behaviors and so forth. That poor guy soon realized >that he was in over his head.

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