Subject:  Re: lone wolves vs lemmings |
Author:
storm
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Date Posted: 01:37:46 04/30/01 Mon
In reply to:
Judy
's message, "Re: lone wolves vs lemmings" on 19:29:36 04/29/01 Sun
This is deep for early morning (for me its early morning!) Im sat ehre staring at the screen thinking - these peeps are amazing! How do they talk like this and come to the sorts of conclusions that they draw from each others posts.
Most of my life, even though i have been accepted by such sheep groups and lemmings as you say, i have still segregated myself as i have found that i did not fit. There are some that section themselves off without feeling the need to even associate with the lemmings, and conform, but know they are their best on their own. Then there are others like you have already said that are driven out from the herd with no choice. With me, i seemed to fit in without having to conform, although left because i prefered a different company. Although the people were nice enough, there was some level of conformity as there always is to some degree - after all, most groups of friends join because of similarities and the sense of a belonging that each person gives to an another.
I seem to like drifting of my own accord, not really worrying if i dont conform, or if suddenly left out on my own without another soul. I sometimes prefere my own company (why i dont know! I must be the most irratating person to be left alone with i can imagine!!) as it means i can gather my turbulant thoughts, and make sense of the things going on around me.
While im on this, instead of me replying to delenas post below, ill put it in this one as i agree i am too afraid of people missing posts that have been put further down!
I am very sorry for the conclusion that has come between you and your friend. I feel anything i put will be all too similar to what medeis has already said, about it maybe having gone stagnant. Maybe you should think, that if now you suddenly became friends, would you be-able to remain as friendly and as in touch as you used to, with the knowledge of how he answered you by placing all the blame on you (whether it was you or not?). Maybe, even if you were at fault, a friend would talk to you about it instead of taking a shot at you the first time you speak. Friends work through differences, but the situation your in seems to show the signs of you growing from each others company into two different people who have their own thoughts and ideas.
Maybe im wrong, and maybe ive gone off on a tangent and hurt peoples feelings, im sorry if i have - it was not meant to give that message. All i can say is, if you feel in the very core of your heart that this person is worth the fight - even if that fight lays against this person to show him that your friendship is worth the fight and the emotional upheaval to get it back on the tracks, then go for it. Id like to say you have nothing to lose, but you have. (the good memories you have will never fade i hope, but the prospect of keeping this friendship you do have to lose)...but, theoretically you dont have anything to lose. You are already on Kind of bad grounds with this person, there is a bad feeling surrounding you both. So, if you give it your all, and know youve done everything you can, and he still does not bend to forgive and forget, then you will know where you stand, and you will know him for his true self, maybe his new true self if he has changed since you last spoke.
Sorry, rant over with! If i seem high and mighty and totally agony aunt-ish, tell me and ill apologise and shut up!
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