News Years Resolution -- Discussion for those who have been harassed by CMF

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Date Posted: 20:32:12 01/06/02 Sun
Author: Lt. William (Bill) Parks BS.,jD. (ret)
Subject: News Years Resolution

Since I am such a crAZy baStarD I have come up with a list of resolutions for the new year as opposed to the stardard issue one. They are as follows:
10) I will stop touching myself through the holes I cut in my pockets.
9) I will stop pretending to be a retired police officer and admit that I slacked away as a jailer on ghost payroll.
8) I will stop calling the Port Orange Police Department and telling them that people are hiding in my basement.
7) I will pay the court ordered fines from when I was caught impersonating the police.
6) I will attend anger management classes so I won't have to beat my wife as often.
5) I will donate my rusty Fords to the Army so that they can use them for target practice.
4) I will send Dave a thank you letter for helping me recognize how progressed my mental illness really is.
3) I will no longer pretend to have an education greater than the 12th grade.
2) I will stop touching myself through the holes in my pockets.
1) I will buy all the 3rd Row Heroes plane tickets so they can come get their personal "fittings" for my Forged hats.

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