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Date Posted: 04:01:31 03/30/05 Wed
Author: Princess_Rosepetal
Author Host/IP: 66.61.124.57
Subject: What to do.....?

Something is wrong with me. I am sick inside and I cannot find a cure. I feel so empty inside like there is nothing to hold onto. I constantly wonder why and how this life was meant for me. I cannot find or keep the love that I want.

I don't ever get sick unless it's from depression over the breakup with someone I love or the abandonment when they leave me. Why is it the ones you want are the ones that leave.

There's something wrong with me and I know it's from my father leaving me and abandoning me when I was a little girl.

I need to get thru the day so that my mind will be focused on work but when I am not at work my eyes are full of tears, my heart is empty, I fight with anxiety and I go deep into my depression.

These are still with me at work. It must be noticable although it's never talked about and I just go on as if nothing is wrong.

What have we done to ourselves in this day and age. This disease makes me want to quit at everything. I lost the woman of my dreams....the love of my life. She is gone for good only to give her love to some other lucky lady. I wish it were me.

I know absolutely without a doubt my emotional sickness has everything to do with being a twin and not having him exist with me. Change is not something that makes me happy. I need her and want her back. But I still do absolutely wish everyone happiness. I'm lost without her! She fulfilled my need for a twin.

Undeniably lonely and alone with depression....

Rosepetal

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