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Date Posted: 00:18:31 02/19/02 Tue
Author: Gem
Author Host/IP: 166.102.234.73
Subject: Re: Bill
In reply to: Bill 's message, "GEM" on 19:28:33 02/18/02 Mon

Yes, I even feel like, if Jesus, stood in front of them,.....they'd still cuss Him out too! I know what that is like! Its all I can do, some days....not to.....go into a car wreck, with all the rage I sometimes feel. I don't know what to do about it eighter? I just scream..inside of myself and spend the night crying......by myself. I know, it doesn't help......but what can I do? Kill myself? I know.........the temptation is great......but it would seem like a foolish thing to do! You know? Finally, sanity settles in........and.........today..........I sat at my register, and did little or nothing.......I spent......an hour......there.......praying........instead. I asked God for forgiveness........and begged.......Him, to intercede, because I couldn't cope anymore...........I don't know, a peace finally settled in on me. I made it thru the night......Thank God.

My husband..says.......(I'm losing it again)--he says, he see's a patteren......to my bad days......(stress at work)--is getting to me......and......then I'm ok, for awhile, till it hits again. I think, he is right. The pills only do so much......but......trying to push......the impulses....of (murder)--and making a total fool out of myself.....are coming to a close second in my life.

Rant and vent away, my friend.......I know how you feel. Gem

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